Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were
showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he
asked how the system worked, the officers asked him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin
gave them his driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they
arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin was wanted for a
two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
Oklahoma City - Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery
of a convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant
district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself
until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused
the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown you [expletive] head off."
The defendant paused, then quickly added, "-- if I'd been the one that was
there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Hewton and recommend a 30-year sentence.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
Chicago - A man robbing a dry cleaning store blew off part of
one finger with a shotgun, police said. "This is no toy; the gun is loaded," the
robber said to his victims Monday in the Pekin Cleaners on Chicago's south side. Police
said the robber, wearing a red handkerchief over his face and carrying a sawed-off
12-gauge shotgun, then opened the gun to show it was loaded. When he closed it, the weapon
fired, taking off two-thirds of the little finger of his left hand. After the gun fired,
he took $10 from the cash register and a portable television set from the counter and
fled. Police said they recovered the tip of the finger and were able to get a fingerprint.
A store employee, Hattie Butler, said she did not realize the robber had injured himself
because he did not show any signs of pain.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El
Paso from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of its valves
while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They were clever, but not bright.
They misspelled the name of the gas company on the side of the truck.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March
in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the
officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could
have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket
that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a
packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to
compose himself.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man
suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it "because
he was busy breaking into a school at the same time." Police then arrested him for
breaking into the school.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I,
after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of
money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed
him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk
turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
man, frustrated, walked away.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for
robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chain saw, which
was not plugged in.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
Portsmouth, R.I. Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string
of vending machine robberies in January when he (1) fled from police inexplicably when
they spotted him loitering around a vending machine and (2) later tried to post his $400
bail in coins.
