Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas,
after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the
engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change.
According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would
have to raise the hood to change the oil.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
The way police told it, Southwest Los Angeles home-invasion
robbery suspect Carlos Hawthorne was trying to throw detectives off his trail. Hawthorne,
20, was one of two men who allegedly invaded Vanessa Arlene Sells' home Sunday, shot her
and her daughter, and fled in their 1992 Lexus. Police said Hawthorne called them about
7:30 p.m. Monday to report that he had seen three men running away from a Lexus near the
2500 block of Clyde Avenue in Culver City. Police officers from the LAPD's
special-problems unit responded to Hawthorne's call and spotted the Lexus. Meanwhile,
Hawthorne remained on the phone with a communications operator who was able to determine
where he was calling from: a phone booth at 3560 La Cienaga Blvd., less than a mile from
where the car was found. The officers found Hawthorne at the phone booth, still talking to
the operator and with the keys to the Lexus in his hand, and detained him. When they
searched his pockets, they found a silver necklace and a bracelet that matched the
description of jewelry that had been stolen from Sells' home. They later booked him on
charges of robbery and attempted murder.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
Police in Cottonwood(?), Idaho, were amused when they arrived to
write up a burglary, and the homeowner told them that the thief got his VCR, his bong, and
his stash of marijuana. Luckily, however, the thief had missed his marijuana pipe. The
police ticketed the guy for possession of drug paraphernalia.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
PENNSAUKEN, N.J. - A would-be-burglar allegedly left behind just
the ticket for police to nab their man. It seems Jose Sanchez needed to make sure the door
to Hill-Rom Corp. wouldn't fully close while he allegedly looted the place, police said --
so he stuck a piece of paper in the door: a traffic ticket he'd been issued the night
before. Police found the ticket Thursday -- with Sanchez's name and address on it -- in
the door at the robbery scene. He'd been issued the ticket for driving with a cracked
windshield. Sanchez, 31, was arrested at his Camden home and jailed on $5,000 bail.
Authorities recovered some of the stolen property at a Camden tavern.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that
there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone, and told
the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car.
They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
A young couple from Motzkin, Israel, decided to introduce some
variety to their love life and took photos of themselves making love. They gave the
negatives to be developed to a local photo shop. A couple of hours later they returned and
were appalled to see that the shop's owner decided to make some copies for himself (for
personal use). They demanded the negatives and the shop's owner refused. When they turned
to the police the owner tried to accuse the couple of blackmail. An investigation is
currently being held against the shop's owner on the charge of intrusion of privacy. Not
only did the shop owner *hide* the fact that he made copies of the pictures for himself,
he actually *insisted* on his "right" to keep them. How's THAT for stupid?
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
Three guys decided, late one night, to rob a petrol station.
Taking in baseball bats and knives they entered and demanded money from the station clerk.
But they weren't aware of a couple of rather important things:
(1) The clerk was an ex-Israeli.
(2) The clerk was an ex-Israeli Army officer.
(3) The clerk was an ex-Israeli unarmed-combat instructor.
Needless to say they ended up in hospital. For a long time. (No charges were pressed by
the petrol station owner, and the police decided that there wasn't much point following
through.)
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 347
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene
to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor
home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Added: May 8, 1997
A bank robber in Bumpus, Tenn., handed a teller the following
note: "Watch out. This is a rubbery. I hav an oozy traned on your but. Dump the in a
sack, this one. No die packkets or other triks or I will tare you a new naval. No kwarter
with red stuff on them, too." Dr. Creon V.B. Smyk of the Ohio Valley Educational
Council says such notes are, lamentably, the rule. "Right across the board, we see
poor pre-writing skills, problems with omissions, tense, agreement, spelling and
clarity," he moaned. Smyk believes that the quality of robbery notes could be
improved if criminals could be taught to plan before writing. "We have to stress
organization: Make an outline of your robbery note before you write it," he said.
"Some of the notes get totally sidetracked on issues like the make, model and caliber
of the gun, number of bullets, etc., until one loses sight of the main idea -- the
robbery."
Added: May 8, 1997
In Bent Forks, Ill., kidnapers of ice-cube magnate Worth Bohnke
sent a photograph of their captive to Bohnke's family. Bohnke was seen holding up a
newspaper. It was not that day's edition and, in fact, bore a prominent headline relating
to Nixon's trip to China. This was pointed out to the kidnapers in a subsequent phone
call. They responded by sending a new photograph showing an up-to-date newspaper. Bohnke,
however, did not appear in the picture. When this, too, was refused, the kidnapers became
peevish and insisted that a photograph be sent to them showing all the people over at
Bohnke's house holding different issues of "Success magazine". They provided a
mailing address and were immediately apprehended. They later admitted to FBI agents they
did not understand the principle involved in the photograph/newspaper concept. "We
thought it was just some kind of tradition," said one. Educators agree that such
mix-ups point to poor reasoning and comprehension skills, ignorance of current events, and
failure to complete work in the time allotted.
