Added: May 8, 1997
Burglars in Larch Barrens, Md., tried to cut through a safe
using a Laser Tag gun.
Added: May 8, 1997
Industrial thieves broke into the Bilgetek plant in Canasta,
Wash., by crossing a metal catwalk and then blew it up, having forgotten it was their only
means of escape.
Added: April 1, 1997
Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and
demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he
fled--leaving his wallet on the counter.
Added: April 1, 1997
England: A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf
holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the
customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is.
The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does--backward! A
substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.
Added: April 1, 1997
Germany: Oil of Olay no longer turning the trick for her, a
woman decided that she would bathe in the milk of a camel (a modern-day Cleopatra). So she
stole a camel from the local zoo (where *else* can you find a camel when you need one?)
and transported it back to her house--where she realized that the camel's name was
"Otto."
Added: April 1, 1997
Arizona: A company called "Guns For Hire" stages
gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year- old
woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.
Added: April 1, 1997
Texas: A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay
$9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a
check--a *forged* check. He got 10 years.
Added: April 1, 1997
(Location Unknown): A man went into a drug store, pulled a
gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head--and realized
that he'd forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask.
Added: April 1, 1997
(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank
after hours and stole--are you ready for this?--the bank's video camera. While it was
recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank,
so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)
Added: April 1, 1997
(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank's
basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He
then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not
climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty
badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help.
