Added: September 20, 1997 Submitted by Dia
My kid brother bought a Lego set, took it home, opened it,
and exclaimed, "It's broken!"
Added: September 20, 1997 Submitted by Robert
I once went on one (only!) date with a girl who was a little
dim. I was constantly trying to help her with her basic chemistry homework. She couldn't
grasp anything. Anyway, being a little unsure of what to talk about, I made the casual
comment about how humid it was since the water glasses had a lot of condensation on them.
She then proceeded to tell me how wrong I was. She insisted that the water in the glass
leaked through microscopic holes in the glass. Thus the reason for the moisture on the
outside! We actually argued about it and I never convinced her. That was our first and
last date!
Added: September 20, 1997 Submitted by "Unknown"
A 16 year old girl, while eating buffalo wings, stated,
"This tastes like chicken." Months later when someone else was joking about it
at her, in defense she said, "Well, it does." It was then her friends finally
got the point across to her that it was chicken.
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 351
We were in a regional Americas class back in high school, and
the teacher was talking about Simon Bolivar. She mentioned the vast number of statues of
Bolivar scattered around South America, and said there were probably more statues of him
than of anyone but Lenin. Brilliant girl in the front row raises her hand, and in her
transfer Georgia drawl asks, "JOHN Lennon?"
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 351
During the big gas price increase here in California, my
friend's 19 year old daughter (blonde, go figure) came home with this little story ...
"Mom, I just can't afford that newer gas now. I always have to get the gas from '87
because it's all I can pay for right now. I wish I could get one of the newer gasses, like
the '89 or the '92, but it just costs too much. And anyhow, why haven't they made any gas
since '92? I can't believe that all they have is that old gas and then charge so much for
it."
Added: May 27, 1997 HumourNet Collage 351
In November 1995, I was skiing at the Snowy Range Ski Area near
Centennial, Wyoming, and I met a woman from New York City. [We got to talking], and I was
explaining that water policies and practices are different between the eastern and western
parts of the U.S.... Even though New York gets more precipitation than Colorado or
Wyoming, the population density is a lot greater, so there are still many water-resource
challenges in the East (supply, distribution, quality, etc.). In response, she said that
New York should have no problem in obtaining enough drinking water, because she assumed
that New York gets its water supply by pumping water out of the ocean and
"filtering" it.
Added: April 1, 1997
There was once a guy who was having computer problems. He
was constantly loosing vital information stored on his hard drive. The tech support lines
were not being very helpful either. One day, a friend of his came into his office and
discovered the problem with very little trouble. Our stupid friend kept his magnet
collection on the wall about 6 inches from his hard drive.
Added: April 1, 1997
You may have heard that many states are putting up these
radar detectors on bridges or stoplights at intersections to catch speeders. There is also
a camera attached to this unit that takes a picture of the car, license plate number, and
the driver. From, here, the Department of Motor Vehicles takes over and sends the photos
to the owner of the car along with a ticket. One driver received the pictures and a ticket
for $40. He was rather upset by this and decided to get even by sending in a picture of
$40. The Department of Motor Vehicles stepped in again and sent the man another
picture....This time of hand-cuffs. The driver quickly sent a check for $40.
Added: October 21, 1997 Submitted by Natasha
The other weekend I was visiting with a friend who I had not
seen in a few months. We were busy catching up with what had gone on in our lives. Her
boyfriend was with us sitting and listening to us talk. I had had a particularly bad month
and was in the process of telling her that my uncle had passed away three weeks earlier.
Her response was OH. I then proceeded to tell her how he had died - suicide. He has three
children who are now left with no father. Well, still no response however her boyfriend
asked how he had died. I explained he had passed away from asphyxiation. He did not know
what that was so I explained it was from carbon monoxide in the car. Well, he sat there
and didn't say anything for a moment. He looked a little concerned. He then turned to me
and said "That's really bad for the environment isn't it?" If that is not stupid
I don't know what is. In fact I think it goes above and beyond stupid.
Added: October 21, 1997 Submitted by Barbara
A very well-known TV star in Argentina invited a group of
archeologists to her TV show, as they had recently found some dinosaur fossils in the
south of the country. When told this, she asks (really amazed): oh, I can't believe it!!!
Were the dinosaurs alive???
