Where was the boat and when did I miss it?

When did dating become so complicated? I remember a time where you could walk right up to a person you liked, gaze at them, then whisper those three magic words... "Tag, you're it." Where did those days go?

Regardless, dwelling on the past won't help us now... and some of us need help.

There are the stereotypical relationships, then there are the good ones. Here are a couple of clues that you need help.

  • If there's a good chance you'll end up on Jerry Springer before the end of the month, you're in trouble.
  • If the neighbors inform you that the betting pool is getting impatient, you're in denial.
  • When UPS requires parachute parcel delivery to your house, run.
  • When your significant other can't remember your name, but can remember the name of all their former relationships, seek shelter.
  • If they refuse to refer to their former partner anything other than "honey", grab your stuff, quickly...
  • When the phone rings at three a.m. and all you hear is a goat... 'nuff said.
  • When your idea of romance is letting them win an occasional round of "Rock, Paper, Scissors", seek professional help.

    Now maybe I'm oversimplifying things for some people, so let me break this down. Dating is more than a right, it is a privilege, and there are a lot of people who take it for granted or abuse this privilege.

    On the other side of the coin, there are many people who spend their Friday and Saturday nights staring at the patterns in the off-white plaster as it forms concentric, overlapping circles across their ceiling, counting each individual ring, from the first to the seven thousand, two hundred forty second, listening to old Air Supply CD's and ... well, not like I know anyone like that, but that's what I think they might do.

    Assume.

    I assume they might do that.

    Yeah. Anyways, this is really something which will be taking more than just one observation to cover... More links following this will come here soon.

    • Return to the round table.
    Back to the shell.

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