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The Paisley Turtle Shell
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Well, in case anyone was wondering, I have had a couple of minor format changes in my life. The free-wheeling, often bizarrely single turtle has secured bragging rights over two turtlettes... "Princess" Dannie, and Megan "the Bae". Fortunately, I got the deluxe package that came with the "Mommy" accessory and the dream house. As of today, Dannie is 4 years old and has whizzed right past her class in such courses as coloring in the lines, advanced scissor techniques and use of questions as semi-lethal weapons. MeggieMoo is 14 months, going on 15, and has proven herself in the use of Nilla Wafers as urban camoflage, fitting round objects into square holes and the defensive high-pitched shrill. My girls can look out for themselves, and as the grandmas have stated in unspoken volumes, we are the adults, and are therefore optional.
That's okay, though. I've learned that as an adult, we get to enjoy naps more... Something kids just don't understand as well as they eventually will. I used to think cats were lazy. Now I know they were just born with thirtysomething sensibilities. I've also figured out that it doesn't matter how bad you mess up, as long as other people don't have to hurt because of it... just don't do anything stupid thinking messing up is a way of life. It's a way of finding forgiveness in yourself after you've found out what DOESN'T work. Not to mention any specifics, but let's just say that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have been caught by animal control dressed as a gecko in a leisure suit trying to dig a nest by the water leak in hopes of... (blink, blink) ...I've said too much, haven't I?
Well, let's just say I've learned my lesson, and that fortunately for me, the costume was tax deductable. Now, for the part that both of you have been waiting for: The rules...
Rule #10:
"I've never met a man I didn't like." - Will Rogers. Then again, I've never met Will Rogers.
Rule #9:
I'm still waiting for the big Paul McCartney and Wing tour. It'll be great!
Rule #8: If it is illegal, immoral or fattening, there will always be someone offering it.
Rule #7: Laser pointing. Less polite, more high tech. Kinda reminds ya of spyware, don't it?
Rule #6: The best things in life are free... but rest assured, someone is trying to find a way to state it infringes on their patents. I'm patenting breathing.
Rule #5:
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but it hurts... a LOT. Sometimes frequently...
Rule #4: Some people should come with subtitles. You obviously don't know who you are...
Rule #3: There is NOTHING like the sweet smell of success... and chocolate. Wow. Chocolate Success. That would smell great... :)
Rule #2: Rants - Timeless as a Burt Bacharach Power Ballad.
Rule #1: If you want to see the last opening screen, click here. Some things never change... :)
And the winner is!
Rule #0:
"If I sing a song, will you sing along or should I just keep singing right here by myself..."
(Translation:
Remember, it's all in fun, so if I offend someone with something here, let everyone know. I could use the publicity.
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One other thing. I do not use "placeholder" links to pages that say they are under construction, and I do not use frames. I have very little Java here, which makes this place easier to live with than a Tasmanian Devil with a toothache. As with any web page, this is a work in progress. The key difference is that if there is a link here, it is live or it is gone... Let me know if you find something that takes you into Bermuda without your shorts. Thanks!
Questions or comments? e-mail ptyrtl@geocities.com
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