~A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.~

~I must always remember that I am unique, just like everyone else.~

~How come you never hear about gruntled employees?~

~How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?~

~If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what is a foghorn made of?~

~If quitters never win, and winners never quit, why do they say, "Quit while you're ahead"?~

If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?~

~I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.~

~What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company?~

~What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?~

~When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?~

~Why is the word abbreviation so long?~

~Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.~

~Atheism is a nonprophet organization.~

~If man evolved from monnkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?~

~I went to the bookstore and askes the saleswoman, "where's the self-helf section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.~

~Could it be those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?~

~If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?~

~If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?~

~If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?~

~Is there another word for synonym?~

~Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

~When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one ment to be removed?~

~Where do forest rangers go "to get away from it all?"~

~What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?~

~If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?~

~Would a fly without wings be called a walk?~

~Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?~

~If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?~

~Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?~

~Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?~

~How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?~

~Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?~

~Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?~

~Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?~

~I'm not schizophrenic. You only think we are.~

~How is it possible to have a civil war?~

~If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?~

~If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?~

~If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?~

~If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it #2?~

~If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?~

~If you try to fail, but instead succeed, which have you done?~

~Why is it called to tourist season if you can't shoot them?~

~Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?~

~If most car accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?~

~If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made of that stuff?~

~Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?~

~SMILE EVOLUTION~

~Smiling is infecious, you catch it like the flu, When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.~

~I passed around the corner, and someone saw my grin. When he smiled I realized, I'd passed it on to him.~

~I thought about that smile, then I realized it's worth, A single smile just like mine, could travel round the earth.~

~So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected-Let's start an epidemic quick and get the world infected!~

~Sourire et etre heureux~