It's such a shame when all of the V.A.G.R.A.N.T.s are so boring that they can't even rate a place on my gallery.  We have a few new bums hanging about, but they don't do anything interesting enough to rate a place in infamy along with all of the great ones.  More's the pity.

More of the Rogue's Gallery!

Wario:  "It's-a me, Wario!"  It seems that when he's not tormenting Mario and stealing those golden coins, he a guard for the local university.  He really doesn't do anything more than look like Captain Lew Albano's evil clone, but why not mention him?

250 of 5:  As a part of the "Chubby girl collective", the name is read by weight then height.  This is the chubby girl who made my life miserable by chasing me around even though she was told on several occasions that I am, indeed, very gay.  But not one to be daunted by a silly characteristic such as sexuality, she harassed me on the job for months, until she eventually (fortunately for me, but more so for her) quit.  But it seems that bothering just one gay man was not enough to satisfy her, she has been seen at local gay clubs with her pack of chubby friends, trying to assimilate any gay man who dare stray too close.

Why Are You So Damned Angry, Septimus?  Part 1

    My inexhaustible anger is always a source of amusement.  But some people ask me, "You have a decent life, you're in decent health, things could be much worse for you, why are you so angry?"  But here's the little know secret about my bitterness: I'm not angry about my own life, but about the lives of others.  I have my own problems to be bitter about, but I am getting less so each day.  What truly makes me angry is society and man's inequity to fellow man.  Athletes get paid multi-million dollar salaries to toss a ball or puck around, actors get paid milti-millions per movie to spit out contrived dialogue.  "But they entertain so many people."  "How many can play that well?"  Wah.  Let's see them do something useful; like cure cancer, end world hunger, bring peace to war torn lands, prepare future leaders of the world.  Naw, far too many feel the need to have a bunch of illegitimate kids, or snort blow off of a prostitute's chest.  How much good would $20 millions dollars benefit starving nations (without their corrupt governments that starve their people) or orphans or many others.  Instead it's given to an overrated comedian, or an actress with a boob job.  The question that I have to ask is, once you have $20 million, why do you need another $20 million?  That is more money than any reasonable human being could spend in a lifetime.  I'm not proposing socialism, because that is a rampant failure, but how wonderful of a job has capitalism done?  Socialism neglects one of the major human motivator, greed, which is readily embraced by capitalism.  So what's to do?  How about a rise in human conscienceness?  That will be the day... -that things get better.