I guess that I should give the good news up front.  I am no longer working at the bad place.  Yes, my days as a clerk at Convenience Hell have come to a close, on with my days in the professional field!  I would worry about the status of my True Tales of Stupidity, but I have an endless source for that section, namely stupidity.

    Did anyone else get to see the wedding of the royal actor Prince Edward to his Diana look-a-like?  Let me tell you, I saw it, and almost cried when she entered the cathedral in her gown, and the organist played Here Comes the Beard.  It was touching.

    A recent poll showed that college students who have alcohol problems are twice as likely than other students to own hand guns.  Also members of fraternities were twice as likely to own guns as well. (Could that be the same group? Hmmm...)

    It was a three day festival of riots and commercialism. This summer, Woodstock '99 went off with out a hitch, except for the fires, riots, and rapes that one should expect with a concert associated with such subversive subjects as peace and love.  Weeks later, at a Dave Matthews Band concert, more fires and riots broke out, most likely due to the inflammatory lyrics of the radical, college rocker. I wonder who was rioting?  (See previous article.)

    Also in music news over the summer, Jerry Falwell's magazine, National Liberty Journal, news source for those afraid of a 'tubby planet, said that female music tour "Litith Fair" had a demonic origin.  The magazine said that festival was named after the pagan demoness Lilith. You know, from that big pagan religion, Judaism. Way to get them facts, guys.

    The Senate Y2K committee says that ATM's, local 911, and power grids are all Y2K compliant, and that we shouldn't expect any massive problems after the January first deadline. The minor problems that we should expect are no money, lack of police and fire department protection, and massive nationwide power outages.;

    New to the Denny's watch.  A group of black sixth-graders were denied service at a Denny's restaurant while on a field trip to Disney World.  The Baltimore students entered the Ocoee, Fla., restaurant and weren't seated and refused service.  They seated themselves, then left after not being served an hour later.  Ray Hood-Phillips, the figurehead at Denny's called a "chief diversity officer" said that the incident will be investigated.  Not actions have been reported as of yet.  Also in Florida Denny's, several corrections officers were turned away from one restaurant on two occasions, and filed a discrimination complaint.  Diversity, it's about all of us, unless you're not white, Christian, and heterosexual.

    On the political front, George W. Bush won the Iowa straw poll amidst controversy from the other Republican candidates.  Many of the other contenders felt that the younger Bush had an unfair advantage in the straw poll, given his fondness and greater familiarity with the common drinking straw.  The newly reconstructed Qualye-bot 2000 dropped out of the Republican race for president, after finishing in eighth place, just behind Cher and Daffy Duck.  Also Elizabeth "Liddy" Dole dropped out of the race, citing fund raising problems. Said the former director of the American Red Cross, "I tried to get Bob to do another Viagra commercial, but he just refused.  I told him that he was my 'ho, and that his bitch-ass would do whatever I wanted, but he just wouldn't listen."

    Two thousand years ago this month. Scholars warned of impending Y0K problems.  The Y0K bug came from the transition of counting the years backward to counting them forward instead.  This was not as bad as the Y-1K event one thousand years before, when years went from four digits to three.

    Taking a bold step into the 1970's, the CEO of the Miss America Pageant lifted the ban on the evil, evil women who have been divorced or had abortions.  Immediately controversy exploded, as members of religious organizations and various bimbos spoke out against the outrage.  Said one religious leader, "This is an offense, and an attempt to condone sins such as abortion and divorce.  Next thing you know, welfare mothers on crack with six kids will use the pageant to support their non-working lifestyle.  Then there's the lesbians!"  President Cindi Mony of the Women for the Exploitation of Women, know as WOW to it's group members, said, "It's against the tradition of the pageant to have women who have had sex.  Pageant contestants should only give oral sex to judges, anything other than that is wrong."  A compromise was reached, however, when pageant officials said that women who have been divorced or had abortions could enter the contest, but there would be a new stoning segment added on after the swimsuit competition to appease the detractors.

    So what do you have in store for this month in the Septi-Verse?  Could these be the last Rogues in About Septy?  Soap opera updates in Glimpse into the Future.  Automatic insults and that Fabulous Fag Hag in Links 'N Stuff.  Tips for selling your soul in Special.  Why we don't live with the homeless in True Tales of Stupidity.  Damn those heterosexuals in Tirade.  You can always get to see the new Virtual Post Cards, Previous Septi-Pages, and the all new feature Pictures and News from the Index. Don't forget to Sign my Guestbook and then Read my Guestbook.  And send mail to septy@geocities.com for questions and comments about the new format and stuff.

Later folks,

Septy.