(Warning!!  Just like everything else on this page, this is all a joke.  I don't need the feds thinking that I'm a militia group intending to topple the government.)

    In 2004, after being trapped and forced to watch the new Disney live action, all animal musical, Hercufleas, I will finally be pushed to the point that I decide to take over the world.  I write a book convincing everyone that voting is absolutely useless using seldom understood logic and unverifiable anticdotes, and tout it on Oprah.  With only one vote, I will elect myself into office, and then rewrite all laws so that I become world leader.  I will then have the power to stop all of the other horrific predictions that I have made, including the Earth falling into the Sun because of the "Puffy Combes" Saga movie.  Humanity will be ushered into a golden age of peace and prosperity that has never been seen in all of recorded history.

How Life Will Be Better After I Achieve World Domination!

Chapter 2

    Television will be vastly improved after I revamp talk shows to make them a force for social good.

Talk Shows:
    In two years, a scientific study will be performed and among its stunning results is that the Jerry Springer show emits a special radiation, and when that radiation enters the breast implants of the strippers that watch it, they somehow gain lesbian tendencies.  This will be first sign that talk shows can have a positive effect on the world.

    With this in mind, I will change talk shows to help not only the guests fix their problems, but also help the audience members relieve some stress.  First off guests will be fitted with special intervenus feed that have three tubes that I get to control.  The first tube has a mild sedative in it, to help reign in those overly rowdy guests.  The second will have a stimulant, to help get those fights going, the ones that the audience tunes in for.  The third will be a hallucinogen, just for laughs.  With a steady stream of mind altering drugs, our guests will get to rant and rave and behave like the maniacs that they were born to be.  Also with those really incorrigible guests in mind, like the thirty-seven year old men who sleep with twelve year old girls or the six hundred pound women who dress in halter tops and thongs and accuse all of the "skinny little things" of being jealous; there will be several trap doors underneath the stage, and with a press of a button, they'll be whisked away to our alligator pits below.  Also at the end of the show for those other guests, like fifteen year old girls who think that they should have as much unprotected sex as they want or people who are sleeping with their lover's sister, brother, cross dressing father, hermaphrodite twin, or any other family member or friend; there will be an "audience participation segment".  The members of the audience will be given their choice of blunt object, then they will rush the stage and "share their feelings" with the guests.  Not only will this make society more pleasant as a whole, it will also cut down the number of update shows.

    Next month I'll continue by revealing how I end world hunger, after realizing that Poveratti and Dom DeLouis eat 75% of the world's grain supply.