Star Wars Episode Four: A New Cash Cow (1977)

    A young man leaves the familiar to find his destiny, and a bunch of creaturs that translate perfectly into action figures.  The archetypical struggle between good vs. evil, light vs. dark, whining children vs. cash strapped parents.  And as we all know, good, light, and whining children always vanquesh evil, dark, and cash strapped parents.

Star Wars Episode Five: The Empire Demands More Money (1980)

    The forces of evil increase their efforts to crush good, creating more machines to convert to action toys and good responds in by doing the same.  Even more fantastic creatures and our heros wear more costumes to make more action figures.  And the archetype of the eager young man learning at the feat of the older, wiser puppet.

Star Wars Episode Six: Return of the Marketing Bonanza (1983)

    More playsets than ever!  Plus the introduction of the obnoxious and horrifyingly cute Ewoks to give this movie more cuddly charm than predocessors.  But eventually good wins over evil, and better yet, geeks all over get to see the princess's goodies in a metal thong.

Star Wars Episode One: The Merchandizing Menace (1999)

    An evil menace hertofore unseen in the cosmos sweeps the galaxy; can our hero's action figures possibly hope to defeat the marshaled forces of Play Station and Nintendo?  We also get to see the events that lead a young, blonde haired, fair Anikin Skywalker to become the melovolent despot Darth Vader, and more mysteriously than that, James Earl Jones.
 

    I hope that this guide helped to increse your enjoyment of the new Star Wars movie.