Whether causing civil unrest, or whipping someone in your dungeon, we have a newly remastered Christmas carol for you.  So throw another yule log on the convent, and sing along.

Toasty the Snowman.
(to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman")

Toasty the snowman was a really happy guy,
    He was built around, some sub-urban town
    Which is why he had to die.

Toasty the snowman was alive for several days,
    Oh he has such fun with everyone,
    'Til he had that horrid blaze.

There must have been some napalm in that bucket those kids found,
They lit it and dumped it on his head
    And he melted to the ground.

Drippity, drip, drip.  Drippity, drip, drip.
    Melt you ball of snow.
Drippity, drip, drip.  Drippity, drip, drip.
    Let of a red glow.
 

Here come Floozy 'Hoflake.
(to the tune of "Here come Suzy Snowflake")

Here comes Floozy 'Hoflake
    Dressed in Leopard Skin Spandex
Tap, tap, tapping on your car window
    Trying to drum up business.

Here come Floozy 'Hoflake
    Soon you will hear her say:
Come one everyone and do it with me,
    I have a half price special today!

If you want a bit of oral,
    I'll come and sate you eas-i-ly
If you have an eating fetish,
    Ahh the whipped cream's on me.
 

Rudolph the Red-Assed Slave Boy.
(to the tune of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer")

Rudolph the Red-Assed Slave Boy
    had a very reddened but.
And if you ever saw him,
    You would want to whip that slut.

All of the other slave boys
    Used to laugh and call him names.
They wouldn't let poor Rudolph
    Play their masochistic games.

Then one night in the Dungeon,
    Sado came to say,
"Rudolph with your ass so red,"
    "come and be my slave instead."

All of the slaves we jealous,
    and they shouted with envy:
"Rudolph the Red Assed Slave Boy,"
    "we hope you're in agony."
 

Have Yourself a Merry Armageddon
(to the tune of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas")

Have yourself a merry Armageddon
    Hope you survive tonight,
'Cross the sky blaze
    Famine, War, Death, and Blight!

Have yourself a merry Armageddon
    In its festive way,
We're being punished
    'Cause Tinky Wink is gay!
And have yourself a merry Arm-o-ged-deon Day!