So I had my big write-in contest, I was excited, I was jazzed, the Septi-Verse expanded.  So I took the time to hunt down photos on the internet, I designed a whole new logo, spent time creating the "Golden Moron Award".  And how was the response you ask?

    Crap!  I thought for sure that there would be a decent turn out, but boy did it suck.  So no more write in contests.  You're all on punishment.  Bad, bad, bad.  But there is good news.  I did get two respondents.

    Dave wrote in to say :"Ah, yes. Now I finally understand the plague that is named Jesse.  At first glance he looks like some sort of plastic-surgeried Sid Vicious. And what's with the hair, anyway? Don't tell me they actually use makeup people to do that!"  And he actually has never seen Jesse at work on Mtv.

    Leave it to 'Rico to sum up the Jesse phenomenon.  He wrote:
 

When writing about the kind of person that you would dredge up with a fecal fishing net I find it extremely difficult to not jump into a flat out rant on one such as Jesse's obvious short comings.  Therefore, for the sake of clarity I will surgically dissect this talentless philistine, to find the true location of his damage.

 I don't know what “Gap” they fished this guy out of, but it certainly is no excuse for the gap between his ears.  The man has the firm grasp on music that I have on quantum physics, but at least I could find and comprehend information on quantum mechanics.  I mean, remember if you will 4th grade music class.  How can someone be a music video jockey when he couldn't recite “Every Good Boy Does Fine” and “FACE”?  (I know that some of you are suffering 4th grade flashbacks, but stop convulsing ‘till I finish)  I pretty much have to blame MTV for the Jesse phenomenon because only they could hire a tard who could not grasp the fundamental musical concepts so elegantly presented on Barney.

 I have to point out that appearance and personality are also very important.  (Oh, the industry is shallower than a sorority.  Big surprise there.)  Even here he loses.  Christ, the man looks like the love child of Olive Oil and a drowned ferret.  I mean as far as marketing goes I can't see him advertising anything.  (Besides pet supplies and cologne with the word “musk” in it.)  Is it just me, or does he always look f***ed up?  Oh, I see.  Instead of paying him they finally worked out the contract for the heroin I.V. he's feeding off of backstage.  Oh, and what a shiny personality.  I swear he just glows.  (Probably radiation manifesting from his “mutant suck factor”.)  He has the personality depth of the Sesame Street authored cue cards he reads off of.  He's so annoying the only thing that he could say to keep me watching is “I'm going to commit suicide.”  (And you know he'd only do it ‘cause Kurt did.)

 What more can I say?  Jesse is a waste who doesn't deserve the air he's depriving the rest of us.  You'd figure that when the depth of difficulty of someone's job is saying “here's the next video from <artist’s name here>”, that any idiot could pull it off.  Thank you for proving us wrong Jesse.  Why couldn't he have been a productive member of society?  He's qualified for many important roles: solvent green, fertilizer, chum…