1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
"Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's A Small World"
incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear
yours upside down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
and ask them to call you "Admiral."
8. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then
announce: "I've got new socks on!"
9. Meow occasionally.
10. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
11. Make race-car noises when anyone gets on or off.
12. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your
Kleenex to other passengers.
13. Sell Girl Scout cookies and proclaim that they are made from
real girl scouts.
14. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency
of the elevator.
15. Shave.
16. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol
coming!"
17. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
18. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go
"plink" at the bottom.
19. Do Tai Chi exercises.
20. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back:
"Oh not now. Darn motion sickness!"
21. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go." Then sigh and say,
"Oops!"
22. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
23. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" while continually pushing
buttons.
24. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
25. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
26. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're
one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elvator.
27. Burp, and then say, "Mmmm.... tasty!"
28. Leave a box between the doors.
29. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push their button
for them.
30. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers
through it.
31. Start a sing along.
32. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that
your beeper?"
33. Play the harmonica.
34. Shadow box.
35. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
36. Lean against the button panel.
37. Say, "I wonder what all these do," and push the red buttons.
38. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
39. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
40. Bring a chair along.
41. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger:
"Wanna see whaf's in muh mouf?"
42. Blow spit bubbles.
43. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
44. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
45. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
46. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
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