In beautiful, smog-covered, downtown Plymouth, there is a war going on. It has never been in the news, although it has been raging on for years. It is a holy war... or is it a fast-food war?
You see, these counterparts have locations across from one another on the main road, and both have a large sign on that stretch of highway. The church is trying to recruit lost souls, whilst TacoHell just wants to unload luke-warm, halfway-assembled tacos.
Needless to say, the signs are always in conflict.
So, we here at the P.D.C. have taken it upon ourselves to document the pilaging and over-all blasphemy of it all... not that we had anything to do with it...
Here is the up-to-date account of the holy/fast-food war:
week of September 28th- October 4th of 1998:
Church of Christ:
When Judgement comes, do you know where you will spend your eternity?
Taco Hell:
Now Hiring All Positions.
C of C:
If you can't live under Jesus, the Devil will always take you back.
TH:
Now Hiring All Positions.
week of September 28th-4th of October:
Church of Christ:
The word of God will show you which path is the righteous one.
Taco Hell:
The man behind the counter will show which selections are good.
C of C:
Why pay the high cost of damnation when Jesus's salvation is free?
TH:
Why pay the high cost of burger joints when Double Decker tacos are buy one, get one free?
week of October 5th-11th:
C of C:
There is no stronger structure than that which is built on Christianity.
TH:
There are no buns thicker than the shell of a Double Decker Taco.
C of C:
Thou shalt not posess covetousness of what thy neighbour posesses.
TH:
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's Cinammon Twists- get your own, at 59¢.
week of October 12th-18th:
C of C:
God's book-keeper makes no mistakes.
TH:
Our place is cheaper- make no mistakes.
C of C:
If Jesus is left outside, there is something wrong inside.
TH:
If you bolt outside, there is something wrong with the insides; get away from the grease and hum-drum of burgers.
week of October 19th-25th:
C of C:
Growl all day, and you are sure to be dog-tired at night.
TH:
If it is growling all day, you need something in it.
C of C:
A man can be judged by what he laughs at.
TH:
Good food is judged by what goes in it.