This is number 1 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead goes gardening********
One fine sunny day, Bonehead's wife, Mrs Bonehead realised that their garden was in need of a bit of attention. "Boney, the garden's a bit overgrown" Said Mrs Bonehead, "get the lawn mower out and cut the grass will you please". Bonehead looked up from his tambourine and instantly replied: "Maybe i don't really wanna know how your garden grows".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 2 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead helps his daughter with her homework********
It was a cold, wet night and Bonehead was sitting watching his favourite show, 'Coronation Street', on TV. He was sat enjoying the exciting episode when a shout came from upstairs..... "Daddy, can you help me with my homework, I'm stuck".
It was little Miss Bonehead, crying for help. Bonehead looked up from the television and instantly replied: "By now you should have somehow realised what you've got to do".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello -welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 3 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead plays party games!********
It was Bonehead's friend ,Skinhead's birthday party and they had all decided to engage in an exciting game of hide and snog. Its a slight variation of hide and seek, but once you find the person you have to kiss them.
Bonehead had already been caught by Skinhead (yes, they kissed) and Skinhead still had one person to find, but he was unsure of her whereabouts.
"Oy, Boney", he whispered, "is she hiding over there?" pointing towards the doorway, obviously cheating. Bonehead looked up from his sausage on a stick straight-away and replied: "Kiss the girl, she's not behind the door".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 4 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead goes to the park********
It was a scorching hot day and Bonehead was spending some quality time with his son, Billy. They had decided to take a walk to the park to admire the scenery. Whilst walking, Billy heard the tinkering of an ice-cream van's music. "Its ok daddy, I dont want an Ice Cream" said Billy, he had eaten already. "Do you want one daddy?" Bonehead instantly looked up from the green grass and said: "If you don't get yours I won't get mine aswell".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello again and welcome to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 5 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead goes scouting********
It was late evening and Bonehead's Scout group had decided to go for a game of 'hunt the hedgehog' in the forest. The aim of the game was to find a hedgehog with the use of a torch (it was very dark) and You had to go with a partner (to keep each-other safe). Laurence (a member of the group) couldn't find a partner.
"Oh. I haven't got a partner." Laurence shouted in disbelief.
Bonehead looked up from his torch and instantly replied: "Let me be the one who shines with you".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello again and welcome to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 6 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead the weatherman********
One fine day Bonehead was getting bored with all the spare time he had so he decided to take a job on the side - as a weatherman.
It was his job to cast the weather for The World on the BNN International News Network and billions of people were watching him. It came to the moment to when he was on, and he recieved his cue from the director: "3 - 2 - 1 - GO!"
Bonehead looked up from the shiny clean floor, looked blankly into the camera and said: "The sun is coming up and its going down".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 7 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead goes to Pizza Hut!********
One early evening, Bonehead and Mrs Bonehead couldn't be bothered to cook and so decided to go out for dinner. They agreed to go to 'Pizza Hut', incidentaly, where Boneheads sister, Frances, worked.
They took their seats and waited for a waitress to take their order. Up stepped Frances, of all people! "Can I take your order please Boney?!" asked Fran. Bonehead looked up from the coulorful menu and instantly replied; "We'll have lasagne".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello again and welcome to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 8 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead helps his friend********
One overcast, but humid day, Bonehead decided to go and take a cake he had baked over to his friend, Tommy.
Unfortunately, Tommy couldn't eat the cake because every time he ate chocolate he would go hyperactive and put on a red cape, thinking he was superman. "You've got to help me, Boney" said Tommy. "I used to love chocolate, but now,every time I eat it I end up trying to fly. What can I do?".
Bonehead looked up from his cup of earl-grey and instantly replied. "You need to be yourself, you cant be no-one else".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 9 in a 20-part series and is dedicated to phoEbe, the competition winner a few stories ago.
*******Bonehead and his friend PhoEbe********
It was bright, but cloudy day and Bonehead noticed his dog, Rover, had caught a bad case of fleas and was running all over the kitchen trying to relieve himself.
Rover had regularly had problems with fleas and other dog-type infections so he decided to call his friend phoEbe, who was a vet. PhoEbe answered the phone: "Hi Boney, is it Rover again? Whats up?"
Bonehead stopped stroking Rover and instantly replied.... "my dog's been itching in the kitchen once again".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead.
*******Bonehead goes to a fancy dress party********
It was a night full of anticipation, and Bonehead and Mrs Bonehead had been invited to attend the local charity fancy-dress party. Mrs Bonehead was going as a Squirrel, and she wanted Bonehead to go as a Bunny Rabbitt, but Bonehead wanted to go dressed as a Chicken.
"You're going to go as a Bunny Rabbit, ok Boney?", ordered Mrs. B. Bonehead looked up from his copy of 'Anglers Weekly' and instantly replied: "Im free to be whatever I choose".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 11 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead watches the olympics********
It was early evening in Manchester, and Bonehead, along with a few mates decided to go down the pub to watch the Brits (try to) win a few medals in the olympics. It was time for the women's 100 meters race and the racers took their positions. "on your marks".
The starter gun made an almighty *BANG* and the racers set off on their 10 seconds of glory. The bang of the gun startled Bonehead who, half way through the race, quickly commented... "See how they run like pigs from a gun".
------THE END-----