A Place To Belong
By: Rebekah Parham

-19-

John stared at his hand that was now covered by Samantha's. "Sam, have you given any thought to the fact that I am twenty-four and you are only seventeen years old?"

"I won't be seventeen forever, John," Samantha told him. "We are only seven years apart, people with twice as much age difference get together all the time and have happy lives."

"Sam, I don't think these feelings you have are based on love. I think they are because over the past few months we have become friends, you have told me things about you that no one knows."

"For a while I thought it was because of our friendship that I felt theses things, but it's not," Samantha said running her hand up John's arm. "John, you are the person that I feel the most comfortable with. I don't have to hide when I'm sad or upset from you. I tell you anything just like I hope you can tell me things," Samantha said. "Don't you have any feelings beyond friendship for me?"

John thought about lying. The last thing he wanted to do right now was tell her the truth, but he knew that Samantha would know if he was lying to her. "Yes, I do," he whispered. "But Sam, just because we both have these feelings doesn't mean that they are right."

"How much is really going to change between us?" Samantha asked. "What are we going to do that is any different than what we do now? Kiss maybe. When we go out, it will be called a date instead of just going out."

John thought about what she said, how much would really change between them. It was almost as if they were dating now, except without all the physical contact. "Sam, it's..." he didn't know what he was trying to say.

"John, I realize that we can't tell anyone about it for a while, and that's okay with me. When we are out with Robby and Mike we can act just like we do now, as friends. You will still be my friend, the person I am going to tell everything to. We can do this," Samantha told him.

"It's going to be like we are sneaking around"

"But it will only be for a little while," Samantha told him. "When I turn eighteen, we can do anything we want."

"You don't turn eighteen for eight months, Sam. How are we going to get by with this for that long?"

Samantha didn't know. "We will figure it out as we go along," she told him.

"You realize that this means lying to Artie. Both of us lying to Artie along with Robby and Mike. Three of our best friends were are going to be lying to. You can't tell Anna. Sam, she can't know, if this ever got out we could get in really big trouble," John said.

"John, we won't be doing anything to get in trouble for," Samantha tried to explain. "Yes, I realize that we are going to have to be a little dishonest with everyone, but it will only be for a little while. They all know how much time we already spend together, they aren't going to say anything if we continue to spend time together. It will be just like normal."

John didn't looked convinced. He had been trying to fight his growing feelings for Sam, but now it was going to be a lot harder because he knew she felt the same way. They both realized it was after midnight and she needed to get home. John and Samantha didn't say anything else on the walk home. When they got to the front of the Apartment building Samantha leaned over to give him a quick kiss, "Good night," she whispered.

"Good night"

John walked back to his apartment thinking about Sam. What had just happened? He can't be doing this, she is Artie's niece. What was he thinking to even consider being anything more with Sam than friends. It was only going to lead to trouble. John let himself back into his apartment. He sat back down on the couch that still smelled like Sam. She rarely ever wore perfume so it was her shampoo that always made her smell so nice. John didn't sleep at all that night. He couldn't think of any way to tell Sam he didn't want to do this without her knowing he was lying.

Samantha had no trouble sleeping that night. She felt like she was walking on air when she walked up the stairs to her room. So this is what love felt like she thought, changing into her pajamas. No wonder Anna said it was the best feeling she had ever felt.

John was still awake when he heard a knock on his door at 9:00 the next morning. He walked over to answer the door wearing only his sweat pants and a sour expression. Robby was standing on the other side of the door with his customary grin. Mike was behind him, he looked like he hadn't been up too long. "Hey" Robby said.

"Hey" John said letting him in.

"Did we wake you up?" Robby asked.

"No"

"Have you even been to sleep? You look horrible"

"Is this the kind of pep talks friends are for?" John asked a bit too harshly.

John's attitude drew both Robby and Mike's attention. "What's wrong with you?" Mike asked.

"Nothing," John said pulling a shirt over his head. "Are you guys ready to go to practice?"

"Yeah," Robby said

They went over to Robby's house to practice. He was the only one that didn't live in an apartment. They used his basement as their rehearsing studio. Mike got behind his drums and Robby strapped on his bass, John was still fooling around with one of his guitars. "Are we going to practice today?" Mike asked.

They went through a few songs, but kept having to stop. John either wasn't paying attention to the song they were playing, or he would make a mistake in the chords. "What's wrong with you today? I don't think I have ever heard you play this bad before," Robby said, watching John re-stringing his guitar.

"I just got a lot on my mind," he said

"Care to share?" Mike asked in his usual friendly tone.

"Not today," John said.

"Come on John, we are your friends. We are here to help if you've got a problem," Robby said. "Or is this a problem you want to share with Samantha?"

"What's that suppose to mean," John snapped.

"Hey man, I didn't mean anything by it. I just meant that you guys are close, you tell her things you don't tell us. Which is cool," Robby said.

"It's not so cool anymore," John said ripping the last string off of his guitar.

"What?" Robby asked.

John turned around and looked at both Robby and Mike. He debated on whether to tell them of not. "Guys, I know if I said something to you that it would stay between us, right?"

"Of course," they said together.

John leaned back against the table that was behind him. "A couple of days ago I kissed Sam. I didn't mean to and it was completely by accident. But when I did, we both started feeling....things," John said

"What kind of things?" Robby asked

"Well, not the kind of things that friends are suppose to feel for each other," John said pushing his hair out of his eyes. "At first we didn't think anything about it. We talked it over and thought everything we cool between us."

"Then what happened to change that?" Mike asked.

"Last night we feel asleep watching a movie. When I woke up I thought it was a dream that she was laying next to me and I kissed her again. I swear to God, the moment I realized it wasn't a dream I ended it," John said. "When I tried to apologize, she told me she liked it, and that she was having these same feelings for me."

"So what's the problem? Samantha is great" Robby said.

"Yeah, she is, but she is also seventeen years old," John said.

"She won't be forever," Mike said.

"That's the same thing Sam told me last night," John said with a slight chuckle.

"John, Samantha is a smart girl. I can understand why you are falling for her. If you both have these feelings for each other I don't see any reason why you shouldn't see where they lead." Robby said.

"Yeah. We all love Samantha. She is always going to be welcome, whether she is dating you or not," Mike agreed.

"What about Artie?" John asked.

Mike and Robby looked at each other. "Artie is an understanding person. I think he would accept you wanting to date Samantha as long as you were up front with him about it," Robby said.

"You think so?"

"Yes, I do," Robby said as Mike nodded his head in agreement.

-20-

Samantha came down stairs still on cloud nine. She fixed her a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice. Artie was gone before she got up. He had left her a note on the kitchen table as he did every morning he left before talking to her. The notes always told her where he would be in case she needed something and he had his cell phone with him. She carried the note upstairs and placed it with all the others he had left her. She kept them all in a shoe box under her bed. The box also contained the note John had wrote her when he gave her the crystal tear drop necklace for Christmas. She was looking at the note when the phone rang. She put it away and placed the box back up under her bed before answering the phone. "Hello"

"Samantha, hey it's Josh"

"Hey," she said cheerily. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing much. A couple of us are going to the lake I was wondering if you wanted to go."

"Josh, I don't know"

"Come on, you said we could still be friends," he reminded her.

Samantha had planned to go to John's but she knew he had practice this morning. "Okay, but I'm not going to stay all day," she told him.

"You won't have to. I will pick you up in an hour."

Samantha found her bathing suit and put it on with some of jean shorts and a tank top over it. She and Josh got to the lake along with everyone else. She noticed that Anna and Brad were there. "I see you two are on the road to recovery," Anna said when they were sitting on the grass alone together.

"We are just friends," Samantha told her.

"Everybody has to start somewhere," Anna said. "I am glad you are doing things together. I was beginning to worry about you."

"Why?"

"Because this is the first time you have done anything with us this entire summer. I hardly ever get to see you anymore," Anna said. "At least when you were dating Josh, we could all go out and do things together. Maybe we could do something together soon."

"What are we doing now?" Samantha asked her.

"You know what I mean, something that's just with the four of us. The way it use to be."

"Maybe we could," Samantha said.

"Are you girls going to sit there all day or are you going to get wet?" Brad asked from the water.

Anna jumped up and pulled Samantha along with her into the lake. As hot as it was the lake was surprisingly cool. "Lord this water is cold" Samantha said.

"It's not so bad once you get wet," Josh told her swimming up behind her. "Are you having fun?"

"Yes," she told him. She really was having fun, but she wondered what John was doing. "What time is it?"

"It's only 11:30," Josh said splashing around in the water. "We have only been here an hour, you can't be ready to leave. It's going to get hot pretty soon so relax and enjoy the water."

Samantha swam across the small lake and back a few times trying to let her body warm up in the water. Josh grabbed her foot and dunked her under, wetting her entire head. She and Josh joined in the water fight with Anna and Brad. When they finally got out of the water Samantha and Anna went behind the tree to change there clothes.

"You want to get something to eat" Josh asked when they came back around to the pond, "Or do you need to get home?"

"What time is it?"

"4:00"

Samantha had completely lost track of time. She wanted to see John today. "I think I had better go home."

Josh took Samantha home. As soon as he was out of the view, Samantha let herself back out the door and started toward John's apartment.

John had come home from practice early. He wanted to talk to Samantha about what he had decided. He waited for her to call, when she didn't; he decided to call her. He didn't get an answer. Where was she? Maybe she was in the shower. He waited a little while longer and called her back. Still no answer. He got tired of waiting on her and decided to go see if she was at home. He opened the door to leave and saw Samantha coming up the stairs.

"Are you leaving?" she asked when she saw him standing at the door with his keys in hand.

"I was going to find you. Why is your hair wet?"

"I went swimming. How was practice?"

"It was fine," John said as they both went back in to the apartment. "Sam, we need to talk."

Samantha sat down on the couch waiting to hear what John had to say. He looked like he had a lot of nervous energy because he was pacing around the apartment. "I did a lot of thinking about everything you said last night. For a while now I have tried to hide these feelings I had for you because I didn't think they were right."

"John..." Samantha started.

"No, let me finish," he said. "I told Robby and Mike about what happened between us"

"Why would you..." Samantha said, hurt that he would betray her trust.

"Sam, let me explain. I needed some advice, and if things were to happen between us it wouldn't only affect us, it would affect them too. They had a right to know. Anyway, they don't think it's such a bad idea."

"They don't?" Samantha said surprised. "What about you John, what do you think?"

John was still pacing around the room. "At first I thought I was setting my self up for trouble, but now..." he stopped to look at her. "Sam, now I'm just more confused."

"But we both have feelings for each other. We know that they aren't going to go away."

"I know," John said. He came over and sat beside her on the couch. "Sam, what you said about sneaking around, I don't want to do that. It's only going to make us look guilty. If we do this, I want to tell Artie straight up that things have changed between us. I want to be up front with everyone."

Samantha didn't know if she liked that idea. What would people think if they saw them together? Why should she care what other people thought, she would know that they weren't doing anything wrong. John already told her that Mike and Robby thought it was a good idea. "When do you want to tell him?"

"Why should I have to be the one to tell him, you're his niece. He won't kill you," John teased.

"Artie won't kill you, maybe he would maim you a little, but he would never kill," she laughed. "I will tell him tonight if you want me too."

"No, I think we should tell him together," John said. "When do you think will be a good time for us to get together?"

"Sooner the better," Samantha told him with one of her shy smiles. "I don't think he has any plans tomorrow. You could come over and we could talk to him then."

"Alright," John said. He and Samantha sat on the couch in silence for a while. This was different for both of them. Neither of them really knew how to act around each other now.

"Are we always going to be this shy around each other?" Samantha asked

"I don't think so. We just need to adjust to...." John was trying to think of the right word when Samantha answered for him.

"Dating?"

"Yes," he said.

"I don't want this to mess things up between us. I still want to be able to talk to you and the same goes for you. I want you to know that you can come to me and still tell me all your problems."

"You can always come to me Sam, and I will always go to you," he said kissing her forehead. He realized that he was allowed now to kiss her and that it would be alright. He brushed his lips ever so lightly across hers.

"I could get use to that" Samantha said when they pulled back from the kiss.

"So could I"

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