A Place To Belong
By: Rebekah Parham

-24-

Samantha sat on the bench overlooking the lake, waiting for Anna to show up. It had been three days since she had last talked to Anna, there was so much that she had to fill her in on.

"I had just about given up hope of ever hearing about your glorious night with John" Anna said sneaking up behind Samantha.

"Sorry about that. I meant to call you the next day but Artie didn't get back until late, so I spent the day with John."

"Do I even need to ask how you spent your time?" Anna said sitting down beside her.

Samantha gave her a shy smile, and that was enough to tell Anna everything. "So, what did you think?"

Samantha's mind drifted back to John. She remembered the way he touched her, kissed her. She wanted to share all of this with her friend, but Samantha also remembered that she wasn't suppose to tell anyone what had happened between them.

"What's wrong?" Anna asked when Samantha didn't say anything.

"Nothing"

"Then why aren't you spilling your guts? Come on Samantha, you've got to tell me, the suspense is killing me."

Samantha looked at her best friend. "Anna, if I tell you, it has to stay between us. You can't ever tell anyone. John and I could both get in some serious trouble if anyone ever found out."

"Samantha, you know I would never tell anyone, anything you told me in confidence."

Samantha could see that her friend was telling the truth. She should have known that Anna would always be a trusted friend, as she had been from the day they had met. Samantha turned side ways on the bench so she was facing Anna. "I don't think John was expecting me quite that way that night. When he walked in the apartment, I was lighting the candles and had on the black negligee thing you made me buy."

"What did he say?" Anna asked trying to pry every last detail from her.

"At first he was like, no, I don't think you're ready, but then I made him see that I was."

"Do you have any regrets?"

"No," Samantha said fervently. "When I was with him, I never felt so complete in my life."



"It was that good?" Anna asked with a slight chuckle.

"Anna, you just don't know. He was so sweet and tender. When he held me, he made me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered to him."

Anna waited for Samantha to finish describing her night with John. When she did finish, Anna let out a sigh, "And I thought that I had it bad, but it looks like you have beat me and Brad out by a long shot."

They sat there for a little while longer talking about boyfriends, relationships, and the normal stuff teenage girls talk about. They noticed that the park that had been filled with kids was now almost completely deserted. Samantha and Anna said there good byes, and Samantha promised to keep Anna updated on everything that happened between her and John..

Samantha walked out of the park and toward Artie's apartment, but changed her mind and decided to go see John for a little while. The sun had already set by the time she reached John's building but saw that there were lights on in his apartment. She bounced up the steps that knocked on the door.

The moment the door opened John pulled Samantha inside and into his arms. "Well, hello to you too," Samantha said after John had released her from the kiss.

"Hello, where have you been? I tried calling the apartment but I didn't get an answer."

"I went to the park with Anna."

"You two have fun?"

"Of course. We mostly talked about girl things, nothing that would interest you."

"Anything you do interests me."

"Anything?" Samantha asked playfully.

"What time do you have to be home?" John asked, wrapping his arms around Samantha's waist before kissing her.

"I told Artie I would be home around 10:00."

They both turned to look at the clock, it was 8:15. "Looks like we better get started if I'm going to make it home on time," Samantha said, backing her way into the bedroom, pulling John along with her.

As much as Samantha would have liked to stay exactly where she was, she knew she had to get up and go home. She untangled herself from John's arms and got out of bed. John did the same thing and started getting dressed.

John walked Samantha to her door and kissed her good night. "Night" Samantha said walking into the apartment. It was 9:58 when she looked at the clock in the hallway. "Talk about timing it just right," Samantha muttered to herself. She went through the apartment trying to find Artie. She finally found him sitting in the kitchen.

He looked up when he heard her walk in the room and smiled. "Hey, how was your day?"

"Good, and yours?" Samantha asked sitting down beside him.

"Some old, same old," he said putting his empty coffee cup in the sink. "By the way, you got some mail today. It was a letter, I put it on your bed."

"I will read it in the morning, right now I think I am just going to go to sleep" Samantha said standing up from the table. She walked around the kitchen and gave Artie hug. Then she made her way up the stairs to her room and got ready for bed.

Samantha tossed the small letter on the night stand beside the bed, not giving it another thought. she crawled into bed and fell sleep without much hesitation.

Samantha's next few days were spent mostly with John. He was still excited about the up coming tours they were going to do in three weeks. Samantha was happy for him, but she didn't like to think about how much she was going to miss him while he was away.

Samantha and John walked into the Continental Club Friday night. He, Rob, and Mike were doing there last show in Buffalo until after they got back from there tour. Samantha took her usual seat with Kristen and Janet. The guys show was fantastic. They played their hearts out knowing it would be several months before anyone around here would see them perform again.

Afterward everyone went their separate ways. John and Samantha went back to his place for a while. John was already keyed up from performing, but talking about the tour seemed to make him even happier. He talked non stop from the time they walked in the door, until Samantha reminded him that she had to go home.

"You have been quiet tonight, it something wrong?" John asked, as they walked toward Artie's apartment building.

"Just waiting for you to take a breath," Samantha teased.

"Sorry about that."

"It's okay." they walked on in silence for a little ways more until Samantha brought up the subject that neither one had dared to mention to each other. "John, we haven't talked about what's going to happen between us when you leave."

John didn't say anything for a moment, then her stopped and looked down toward Samantha's emerald eyes. "Nothing has to change between us. I know six months is a long time, but we can do it."

Samantha knew that nothing was going to change between them, she just felt better now that she had heard John say it. They walked on the Artie's door and kissed good night. "Do you want to come in and say hello to Artie?"

"Do you think it's to late?"

"No, he is always up when I come in" Samantha told him unlocking the door.

Samantha heard voices as she and john walked toward the living room. she knew one of them was Artie's and the other one sounded familiar, but she couldn't place whose voice it was.

Samantha knew the moment she walked in the living room whose voice it was. Her stomach dropped to her feet because she knew all the things john had just promised her wouldn't change were fixing to disintegrate.

-25-

Samantha put her hand to her throat as the two men that were sitting, now stood to face them. No one said anything as Artie walked around the couch and kissed Samantha on top of her head. he turned toward John, "Hey John, how are you?"

"Pretty good" John said. He noticed that Samantha hadn't done more than flinch since they had walked into the room. John put his hand on top of Samantha's hand at her throat and brought it down to her side.

Samantha felt John's hand on hers and held on, refusing to let it go, but her eyes never once left the other man standing across the room.

"John, this is Aaron Taylor, Samantha's father" Artie said. He turned toward Aaron saying, "Aaron, this is John Rzeznik. He is...."

"The musician you were telling me about," Samantha's father said distastefully. His eyes moved over John, as an eagle's eyes would move over his prey. "You look a little old to be dating my daughter, exactly how old are you?"

"24" John said.

"And you're dating a 16 year old child."

"Sam, is 17 and she isn't a child," John corrected.

Aaron's eyes now turned to his daughter, "Do you not have anything to say to me Samantha?"

"Wh...What are you doing here?" she stuttered.

"My secretary sent you a letter telling you I would be coming, didn't you receive it?"

Samantha's mind raced trying to concentrate. A letter, she didn't get a letter. Oh god, she did, it was still laying on her dresser unread. That must have been the letter that came a few days ago. "I got it, but I didn't read it."

"So my arrival wasn't expected, I'm assuming.".


"It was a surprise," Artie said when he saw that Samantha was once again at a loss for words.

Samantha head everything that was going on around her but all she could think about was, why had her father come to Buffalo. "You still haven't said why you are here," Samantha said to her father, already dreading the answer she was about to receive.

Her father's eyes bore into her when he said, "I can't let you stay with Artie forever."

Samantha tightened her grip on John's hand. "You are going to send me back to Seattle when I finally have a home."

"Samantha, this isn't your home."

"This has been my home for the past eleven months."

"Well, now you can go back to your real home."

"What if I don't want to?" Samantha said. She couldn't believe that she was talking to her father like this. She had never defiled her father's commands.

Samantha's father laughed, "Don't be silly Samantha, you don't have a choice. Your home is in Seattle with me."

"Until you get ready to leave again, or send me off to another boarding school" Samantha snapped.

"That's enough, Samantha" her father said in a stern voice. "I can see that you have made friends here and Artie has been kind to you, but it's time to go home."

Samantha didn't say another word, she turned around and walked out the door. John didn't have a choice but to follow because she still had a death grip on his hand. Once outside Samantha didn't stop walking as John thought she would. "Sam, are you all right?'

"He is not going to make me go back. He is going to tear everything apart." Samantha stopped in the middle of the street. "I can't go back there tonight, not with him there."

"Sam, you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"Can I stay with you?"

"Sam, I don't think that is such a good idea with you're father so close. Why don't I take you to Anna's house. You can call Artie and let him know where you are."

Samantha didn't want to be with anyone but John, but she knew he was right. John and Samantha walked back to his apartment. Samantha called Anna to make sure it would be alright for her to stay, then they left.

Anna was waiting on Samantha at the door when they pulled up. John leaned over and kissed Samantha. "It's going to be okay. If you need to talk or whatever, call me, it doesn't matter what time it is."

"I need to be with you now" Samantha said.

"I know" John said wrapping his arms around her as the walked up the front porch steps to Anna's house. John kissed Samantha good bye and walked back to his car.

"Is everything alright?' Anna asked concerned.

Samantha just shook her head. "No, it's not alright, it is never going to be alright again."

Anna took Samantha inside and up to her room. Samantha explained that her father had come to take her back to Seattle. Anna tried to reassure her friend that things were going to be fine, but Samantha wasn't buying it.

John didn't sleep at all that night. He kept picturing Samantha's face when her father told her she was going back to buffalo. He stayed up all night waiting for the phone to ring, but it never did.

John heard a knock on his door at 7:00 the next morning. He figured it was Samantha, and raced to let her in. He stopped abruptly when he saw that he had been mistaken.

"Not who you were expecting?"

"Not really," John said stepping back so that Aaron Taylor could come in.

"I suppose you thought it would be my daughter."

John didn't say anything. He shut the door and perched himself on the edge of the couch. "What can I do for you, Mr. Taylor?"

"You seem to have a lot of pull with my daughter. I would like for you tell convince her to go back to Seattle."

"You heard her last night, she doesn't want to go."

"But you could convince her to go, if you wanted to"

"Now why would I want to do something like that," John asked. He watched Samantha's father walk from where he stood by the door to almost directly in front of him. He reached in the pocket that was inside in jacket and pulled out a brown paper envelope, handing it to John.

John took the envelope and opened it. Inside was a check for $100,000. "What is this for?"

"Artie told me that you could use some money to record a demo or album. It for whatever you want to spend it on"

"As long as I get Sam to go back to Seattle with you," John said smartly. He crumpled the check up and tossed it back to him. "You're not going to be able to buy me out of Sam's life."

John stood up and heard the faint laughter of Aaron Taylor as he was walking to the window. "Tell me son, have you ever heard of statutory rape?"

John quickly turned around to face him. "I can tell by your reaction that you have, although I can't say I'm surprised with your fascination with teenage girls and all."

John knew that Samantha would never have told anyone, especially her father about their relationship. "That charge is going to be difficult to prove seeing as Sam and I have never..."

"Do you think it is really going to matter if you have slept with my daughter or not? Come on now, son, you have been around the block before, you know how the game is played."

"What game would that be?"

"Survival of the fittest, of course. See, it all about money and power, both things that I have and you don't. How hard do you really think it would be for me to convince a judge that you manipulated my daughter into sleeping with you?" Aaron said. "Lets face it, you're a kid from the streets that wants to be a musician. And if Samantha were to have an examination that were to prove that she isn't as innocent as you say she is; it would only be that much easier to have your head on a platter."

Samantha's father walked to the door and turned back. He threw the wadded up check at John's feet. "You really shouldn't scorn those that are in a position to help you. Samantha has a lot of her mother in her, she likes to take up lost causes. And that's what you are to her, a lost cause. Samantha has been raised with money, and has the best of everything. You will never be anything more than a teenage fling to her. You have a chance to set both of yourselves free. She can go back to Seattle and you can go on with your music; or you can go to jail for 5 to 10 years. Either way, you aren't going to see Samantha anymore. The choice is yours." Then he was out the door.

-26-

Samantha laid awake all that night. She didn't even notice that the sun had begun to rise until she heard Anna moving around in the bed across the room from her.

"Did you even try to sleep?" Anna asked when she saw Samantha sitting in the widow seat staring outside.

"It wouldn't have done me any good," Samantha said, still staring out the window.

Anna got out of bed and went over to where Samantha was sitting, "You want to talk?"

Samantha didn't say anything, she shook her head and continued to look outside.

"Do you think you will be able to convince your father into letting you stay?"

Samantha shook her head, "No, he will find some way to make me go back."

Anna and Samantha sat there for a while, neither one of them knowing what to say. Anna went down stairs and brought something to eat back with her. She thought that some food might make Samantha feel better, but she didn't even touch it.

Anna was really beginning to worry about Samantha. Nothing she did seemed to help her. "Do you want me to call John?"

"Would you mind?"

"Of course not. I will be right back." Anna went into her sister's room to use the phone. After looking up John's number she dialed and waited for him to answer.

"Hello"

"John, it Anna."

"How is Sam? Is she alright?"

"I don't think so. She didn't sleep at all last night and she has barely said two words since you dropped her off."

John took a deep breath. "She's got a lot on her mind right now, don't take it personally Anna."

"Oh, I'm not. I am just really worried about her. I've never seen her like this before."

"Okay, I am going to come get her. Maybe she will talk to me."

Anna hung up the phone and went back into her own room. Samantha was still sitting in the same position as she had been when Anna left. "John is going to come get you."

Samantha got up from the window and started getting dressed. She pulled back on the same clothes that she had wore yesterday, and handed Anna back the gown she had borrowed to sleep in. Samantha sat down on the edge of the bed to put on her shoes.

"Samantha, I don't want to make things worse, but did you think that maybe your dad may have found out about your relationship with John?"

That same thought had crossed Samantha's mind a million times last night. "I don't know," Samantha said. "I don't know how he would have found out. We haven't told anyone except for you, and you have said anything to anyone, right?"

"Of course I haven't" Anna said truthfully. "But if he did find out, he could use that against John, and force you to go back to Seattle."

Samantha's shoulders slumped even more than they already were. "I can't go back."

"Samantha, think about John. Any hopes he has of becoming a real musician would be completely ruined if your relationship with him was exposed."

"What are you saying, that I should just leave?"

"I'm not saying that. I just think that you need to keep in mind everything that could happen if you choose to fight your father. I don't want you to leave, but I don't want you to get hurt either."

Samantha and Anna both heard the doorbell and jumped. Anna walked Samantha to the front door where John was waiting.

Samantha turned to give Anna a hug. "Thank you."

"Anytime" Anna replied, stepping back from their hug.

Samantha was quiet most of the ride to john's apartment. A small part of Samantha had already told her that her father knew about them, but she hadn't wanted to believe it.

John opened the door and let Samantha in. "Anna said that you didn't get much sleep last night, do you want to lay down?"

"Will you lay down with me?"

"Yeah"

Samantha crawled into John's bed and waited for him to lay down next to her. She knew what she was going to have to do, but she wanted to savor these last few precious moments together.

As much as Samantha loved making love with John, this time there was a sadness between them. It wasn't the same carefree passion that they had always shared. Now, it was more of an urgency to fill their minds and souls with the feeling of each other. Both knowing full well that this may be the last time they would ever be together.

"My father came to see you, didn't he?" Samantha asked while they still lay in bed.

John knew they were going to have to talk about this situation, but he hadn't expected her to come out and ask. "Yes, he did."

"Then he knows," Samantha said, turning her head away form John.

John leaned over Samantha, bringing her eyes back in contact with his. "He doesn't know anything for sure."

"Do you think that is going to matter to him?"

"Sam, it doesn't matter to me if he knows or not."

"How can you say that? do you know how much trouble you could be getting yourself into?"

"I'm not going to let you go back with him and be miserable, the way you were when you came here."

"John, we don't have a choice."

"There has got to be some way, something we can do so you can stay."

"And risk you going to jail? No way." Samantha could tell that John was about to argue with her. "I will turn eighteen next March, and then I can do anything I want."

"March is nearly a year away."

"John, it's the only way. You are going to be gone for the next six months anyway, so what difference is it going to make if I'm in Seattle or Buffalo? I will go back to Seattle and finish my last year of high school and you can go on tour."

"Sam..."

"John, it's got to be this way, at least for a little while."

John didn't want to accept it, but he knew Samantha was right. there was no way for them to get around this any other way.

John and Samantha spent most of their last day together in bed. When Samantha couldn't put saying good bye off any longer, she got up and put her clothes back on. Stepping out onto the fire escape, Samantha waited for John.

He came out behind her, putting his arms around her waist. Samantha let her head fall back against his chest and reveled in the feel of his presence.

"Sam...."

"Shhhh, don't say anything yet. Let me just be here with you like this for a little while longer."

John did as Samantha asked he continued to hold her without saying anything.

Samantha turned around in John's arms. "I am going to miss you so much."

"I already miss you just knowing that you have to leave."

"John, I want you to know that I will be thinking of you everyday we are apart from each other."

"Why do I get the feeling I am about to hear a but?"

Samantha looked into the crystal blue of John's eyes. "I don't want you to wait for me while I'm gone."

"What are you talking about?"

"I can move on with your life. You can see other girls and..."

"Sam, I don't want to see or date other girls. I want to be with you."

"John, you can't put an entire year of your life on hold for me. I don't want you to feel obligated to stay faithful to me."

John pulled his arms from around Samantha's waist, and placed his hands on either side of her face. "Listen to me, I am going to wait for you. I will wait for you forever if I have to."

Samantha kissed John's lips wanting so much to stay with him like this forever. "All things happen for a reason, if we are truly meant to be then we will find our way back to each other," Samantha whispered to him.

John leaned down and kissed the top of Samantha's head. "I love you, Sam. I will always love you."

"I love you too."



Samantha didn't want to have to say good bye to John again, so she refused to let him walk her back to Artie's place. Samantha unlocked the door and prepared herself to meet her father again. True to form, he was waiting in the living room surrounded by her luggage.

"I hope that you have said your good byes to everyone, our flight leaves in an hour."

Samantha went upstairs to her room. It seemed as empty as the day she had first arrived in Buffalo. You couldn't even tell that the room had belong to a teenager for the past year.

Samantha moved closer to the night stand that sat beside her bed. She noticed that the picture of her mother was still sitting there. She picked it put staring at her mother's beautiful face that looked so much like her own.

"She loved you so much."

Samantha turned around to see Artie standing in the doorway. "I loved her too."

"I am really going to hate to see you go."

"It's only going to be for a year," Samantha said, trying to put up a brave front.

"Remember that you are always going to be welcome here. You can come back anytime, and you room is always going to be here."

Samantha put her arms around Artie's neck. "Thank you."

"You are so welcome, honey"

Samantha held back her tears. She didn't want anyone to see how much it was hurting her to have to leave everything she had grown to love. "Promise me that you will take care of yourself."

"I promise"

"And promise that you will help John. Make sure that he does well on the tour."

"I promise," Artie said again. "You promise me that you won't stay gone forever."

Samantha nearly laughed. "One year, I promise."

Samantha sat in the long black limousine as they rode down the streets of Buffalo to the airport. She looked out the window to see all the places that had become so familiar to her over the past year.

As they rounded the corner of John's building, Samantha looked up to see him still standing on the fire escape. The same place he had been when she left.

Samantha brought her fingers to her lips, then placed them to the window. "I promise I will make it back to you," she whispered as a silent promise to both herself and to John.

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