A Place To Belong
By: Rebekah Parham

-11-

Samantha hated taking down the Christmas tree. She wished it could have stayed in the apartment forever. When it was gone the room looked so empty. She was still contemplating the emptiness of the room when the phone rang. "Hello" Samantha answered.

"Hey"

Samantha knew immediately that it was Anna. "What's up?"

"Nothing much. I was wondering if you would like to get some lunch or something."

"That sounds good."

"How about I pick you up in fifteen minutes?"

"That's fine"

"See you then" Anna said then the phone line was dead.

Samantha and Anna were sitting in their regular booth at Glindy's discussing the joy of being out of school for the next two weeks, when Anna said, "I can not wait until Saturday."

"What's Saturday?"

"It New Years Eve. Brad and I are going to the party at Jeff's house. You know Jeff, he is the football player that goes to school with Brad and Josh." Anna said.

"Yeah, I met him a few times. He was really nice from what I remember about him."

"Aren't you and Josh going to the party?" Anna asked.

"No, Josh is still going to be out of town. He's not coming back from his grandparents until two days before school starts back."

"Bummer," Anna said. "But you can still go. You can go with me and Brad. He won't mind" Anna assured her.

Samantha took a sip of her coke before saying, "I would love to, but I already have plans."

Anna looked confused, "You do? What are you doing?"

Samantha weighed the pros and cons of telling her friend the truth. Ultimately she decided not to lie. "I am going to a concert."

"What concert?"

"A Rolling Stones' concert."

"I didn't know you were a Rolling Stones' fan," Anna said surprised.

"Well, I'm not really. To tell you the truth, I have never heard them."

"Then why are you going? Is it because Artie wants to go?" Anna asked curiously.

"Artie isn't going," Samantha said, taking another bite of her chicken sandwich.

"Then who are you going with?"

"John," Samantha said casually.

"Really?" Anna asked intrigued. "What's that all about?"

"Nothing. He is just being polite because I gave him the tickets for Christmas and..."

"Wait a minute" Anna interrupted, "You gave him Rolling Stones tickets for Christmas? Did I miss something? Why didn't you tell me something was up between you two?"

"Nothing is up between us. We are just friends," Samantha explained.

Anna didn't look like she was buying it. "Friends huh? Does Josh know about your friendship with John?"

Samantha swallowed her last bite of sandwich. "Why would Josh care if John and I are friends? Because that's all we are, just friends. We have been through a lot of the same stuff so he understands me."

"You mean like stuff about your mom?" Anna asked sympathetically, like she always did whenever the subject came up.

"Yeah, his mom died when he was young too."

"Oh, I didn't know that, Samantha, I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Samantha said. She touched the necklace through her shirt. She hadn't shown it to Anna or anyone else. No one else would understand what it symbolized. Samantha came back from her own thoughts and said, "You will have to tell me about the party."

"I will, and you will have to tell me about the concert. I hope your planning to take pictures." Samantha hadn't thought about taking a camera. "You are going to take pictures aren't you? It's not everyday that you get to go to your first Rolling Stones concert," Anna told her cheerfully.



Samantha decided to wear her new fuzzy pink sweater with a pair of black pants to the concert. She grabbed her coat and her book bag pocket book off the bed and went down stairs. Artie had to go to a concert himself tonight so he wouldn't be back until late. Samantha had told John she would meet him at his place. When she got there he was still getting ready. "You take longer to get ready than I do," Samantha said aggravating him.

He came in the living room with his shoes in hand. "Not everyone is born as pretty as you are."

It only took John and Samantha about forty-five minutes to drive across the Canadian border to the arena. Samantha had never seen so many weird looking people in her life. There was a big mixture of old and younger people. Some of them had neon colored hair while others had no hair at all.

John and Samantha found their seat, which happened to be very good, and sat down. It was early and the show wasn't going to start for another half an hour. Samantha pulled out the disposable camera she had brought with her and took a picture of John. "Why are you taking a picture of me, your the pretty one."

"Anna told me I have to take pictures of everything so I will remember it all," Samantha told him trying to take another picture.

John took the camera out of her hands. "Then you need to remember what you looked like too."

"I hate having my picture taken," Samantha whined

"You didn't seem to mind when you were the one taking the pictures," John told her.

"It's different when you're on the other side of the camera"

John stood up and pulled Samantha up with him. "I have an idea." He stepped behind her and held the camera out in front of them. "Smile," he said, snapping their picture.

"I'm sure it will turn out wonderful," Samantha said putting the camera back in her bag.

The concert was fantastic. Even though Samantha didn't know any of the songs, she had a good time watching how excited everyone else was about the band. Every now and then John would point something out to her, the way the guitar player held his hands, the story behind a certain song. Samantha got tired just watching the band run around on stage, she didn't know how they could do it night after night. When the countdown to midnight stated everyone joined in. There was an explosion of confetti over everyone just before the band sang their last song after the clock struck midnight.

Samantha and John made their way outside. From where they stood they could see the fireworks that were still going off over the Niagara Falls river. "Want to take a closer look?" John asked.

"Sure"

They arrived just in time to see the last round of fireworks exploding over the water. "Isn't that the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?" Samantha asked, astounded by the beauty of the colors reflection off the water.

"No, but it's very close" John said putting his arm around her shoulder. "Have you made a resolution yet?" he asked her when they were walking back to the car.

"Not really. I honestly can't think of anything more I want. These last few months God has given me what I have prayed for most in my life," Samantha told him.

"What would that be?"

"A place that makes me feel like I belong," she said quietly.

-12-

Christmas vacation pasted, then it was back to school and into the same routine. Samantha and Anna had stopped spending so much time together because Anna was always with Brad. Anna did keep Samantha updated on all the lasted happenings between them.

Valentines Day was the first time Anna, Brad, Josh, and Samantha had all been out together since before Christmas. They went out to eat at a new Italian restaurant then Anna and Brad excused themselves to spend some time alone. Josh and Samantha went to Astrodome, the club where the Goo Goo Dolls were supposed to be playing. The fact that it was Valentines Day didn't stop any of their fans from showing up. The club was crawling with people ready to party.

Samantha went over to say hello to everyone. John gave her a wink when he saw her with Josh. "Hey Sam," John said then turned to Josh. "Josh, how are you?"

"I'm good. Are you guys ready to go on?" Josh asked.

"We will be soon" Robby said walking over and giving Samantha a hug. "Girl, it's been a while. What have you been up to?"

Samantha returned Robby's hug before answering his question. "Not much," she told him.

"Where's your friend, Anna, wasn't it?" Robby asked looking around.

"She wanted to spend some time with her boyfriend" Samantha said.

Robby nodded his head saying, "Speaking of boyfriends, can I meet yours?"

"Robby, I'm sorry. This is Josh. Josh this is Robby, he is the bass player in the band," Samantha said introducing them.

"Nice to meet you, Josh," Robby said.

"You too. We saw you play a few months ago. You guys are really good."

"Thanks," Robby said, pulling a girl over to us. "I want you to meet my girlfriend, Janet."

"Hello," she said. Janet had short dark hair and eyes and look almost as adorable as Robby. You could tell that they were made for each other.

They stood there talking for a while before another woman walked up with John. "I see you have met Janet," John said looking toward Robby and Janet. They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't hear anyone talking about them. "Sam, I want you to meet Trisha" John said, indicating the girl that stood beside him. "Trisha, this is Sam."

Samantha shook the tall, blonde woman's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too." They made small talk until John and Robby had to go on stage. Samantha still hadn't seen Mike around, but she heard the familiar beat of his drums behind the curtain.

"So, you're the Sam I keep hearing so much about" Trisha said looking over Samantha from top to bottom. "From the way John talks about you, I thought you were like twenty, but you're just a baby."

Samantha wasn't sure how to take that comment so she just smiled. "I better go find Josh," she said, noticing that he was no longer standing with her.

Josh was sitting at a table behind the table Janet, Trisha and another girl that Samantha guessed was Mike's girlfriend were sitting.

After the show Josh and Samantha decided to go home. It was already after midnight so Samantha went over to tell everyone good-bye. Robby and Mike were at the table surrounded by their girlfriends and other people that were in the club. Samantha waved to them and mouthed good-bye.

Samantha looked around for John and saw him with Trisha by the bar. She put her hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "You're not leaving yet are you?" John asked.

"Yes, I told Artie I wouldn't be out too late. The show was great."

"Thanks," John said giving her a hug. "Come by and see me sometime," he whispered so Trisha couldn't hear.



Samantha nodded her head and looked to Trisha. "It was nice to meet you."

"It was nice to meet you too," Trisha said picking up the beer she had just ordered. "Maybe the four of us can do something sometime," she said looking to where Josh was waiting by the door.

"Yeah, I would like that," Samantha said before giving John a smile and walking over to Josh.

The phone rang before Samantha was even out of bed the next morning. Artie knocked on her door saying, "Samantha, it for you."

Samantha crawled out of bed and looked at the clock. It was 7:00 am. "Hello," she said picking up the phone.

"Samantha," Anna said, her voice didn't sound a bit sleepy. "I have to talk to you."

"About what?" Samantha asked.

"I don't want to tell you over the phone. Can I come over?"

"Sure"

"I will see you in ten minutes," Anna said before hanging up the phone.

"Is everything okay?" Artie asked seeing Samantha coming down the stairs already dressed.

"I guess. Anna is on her way over."

"Okay, I will see you later," Artie said. "I will be at the office today if you need me."

"Alright."

Samantha opened the door when she heard Anna pull up in the driveway. It didn't take her but a second to jump out of her car and fly past Samantha into the apartment. She grabbed Samantha's arms and pulled her over to the couch. "Is Artie home?"

"No, he went to the office. Now tell me what you're so excited about." Anna got a really big smile on her face and she didn't even have to say a word for Samantha to figure out why she so was so happy. "You didn't. With Brad?"

Anna shook her head. "Samantha, it was so wonderful. After we left the restaurant last night we went back to his house. His parents had gone to St. Martin's for the weekend so it was just us."

Anna shared every detail with Samantha. Samantha listened to everything she had to say. "It was the most beautiful experience of my life," Anna said when she was through with her story.

"Didn't it hurt?" Samantha asked innocently.

Anna looked at her, "Well, yes, it hurt; but once the moment of pain was gone it was wonderful."

Samantha and Anna spent the rest of the day together. They didn't go anywhere just stayed in Samantha's room and talked. Anna seemed to be more of a woman now. She had experience something Samantha hadn't. She was glad that her friend was happy, but she wondered if she was missing out on something.

Samantha had her seventeenth birthday on March 15. She was the last of her friends to turn seventeen, but that didn't bother her. She went out to eat with Artie and Anna for her birthday.

There was an envelope laying on the table when she got home from school a week later. She recognized the hand writing to be that of her father's secretary. She opened the card to read,

Samantha, I hear from Artie that you are enjoying your stay in Buffalo. I hope that you had a pleasant birthday. Your Father

She didn't even sign it love. But why should she, anyone that knew her father knew he wasn't capable of love. Samantha put her hand to her throat trying to hold back her tears. She felt the crystal tear that was always around her neck and knew where she could go. She walked up to John's apartment and knocked on the door. She was still holding the card in her hand when he opened the door. "Can I still take you up on your offer to share my tears with you?"

He opened his door wider so she could come in. "Anytime," he said giving her his shoulder to cry on. Samantha gave him the card to read and told him that it was her father's secretary that had written it.

"I don't know why I'm crying. I should be use to his ways by now," she said sitting up and drying her tears. Samantha thought about that. She thought about her own feelings for her father. "I don't think I love him," she whispered. "I know that I should because he is my father, but I don't. I used to feel angry with him all the time; now it just like I don't feel anything for him at all."

"That's understandable," John told her.

"He didn't even say anything about my mother. He probably doesn't even remember."

"Remember what?" John asked.

Samantha looked back to where John was sitting on the couch. "It will be four years Sunday since she died."

"Sam, I'm so sorry. I know how hard that day must be for you."

"I thought it was suppose to get easier as time went by. Why do I still miss her so much?"

"Sam, it does get easier. Haven't you been happier here in Buffalo? Didn't you tell me that days went by when you didn't think about your mom dying?" John said getting up and walking over to her. "Sam, you will always remember your mom, and some days are going to be harder than others. But that's why you have your friends and family to lean on. That's what we are here for."

Samantha placed her arms around John's waist and rested her head on his chest. "I don't know how I made it before I had you," she told him.

"You made it because you're a strong person. You have been through so much, yet you're still a remarkable, loving person."

Samantha looked up to him. "Thank you, I always feel so much better when I talk to you."

"You don't have to thank me, Sam, because talking with you works both ways."

Samantha and John settled themselves on the couch and Samantha remembered a question she had been wanting to ask. "John, where did you meet Trisha?"

"I met her at a show we did of couple weeks ago," he told her. "What did you think of her?"

"I don't really know. I mean she seemed nice, but I wasn't around her all that much. What do you think about her?"

John smiled, "I think she is nice"

"Go on," Samantha insisted.

John leaned his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. "It's like she is a really sweet person, and I like her and everything; but she has little tendencies that get on my nerves."

"What do you mean?" Samantha asked.

"I can't really talk to her. She is always wanting to go out and do things with her friends or with Robby and Janet. Don't get me wrong I like spending time with Rob and Janet and I don't really even mind her friends too much. It's just that I don't want to go out every night. Sometimes I just want to stay at home, and she hates that."

"Oh," Samantha said.

John opened his eyes and cocked his head sideways to look at Samantha. "Did Artie tell you the good news?"

"What good news?"

"He has set up our first tour for us," John said getting all excited.

"John, that's great. When does it start?"

"The first week in April. It's going to be for two months all through the east coast," John told her.

"I will miss you, but I know you are going to do great."

"I'm going to miss you too We should be back about the time your getting out of school so we can spend sometime this summer together."

Samantha left that day feeling better but at the same time worse. How was she ever going to make it through the next two months without John around to talk to. Samantha had become so dependent on him, when she needed to cry and he was always there to comfort her.

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