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"Southbound Jericho Parkway Parts 1 and 2" (Bobby Bond) (MGM Records) released March 3, 1969 |
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People who reckon ol' Roy could warble the Yellow Pages and make it sound like "Ave Marie" have never gotten within earshot of this excruciating mini-opera, seven minutes of blankety blank verse in six incongruous musical movements, including an extremely embarrassing "go-go" sequence that will elicit more winces than his even his abysmal 1966 single "Twinkle Toes". Orbison, clearly suffering from "MacArthur Park-insons" disease here, tells this turgic tale of lonely Mr. Henry Johnson , "a man whose memories were made of nothing/ he presses the elevator door and goes home to no one"--feeling sorry for him yet? Henry tires of never getting any mail from his dysfunctional family and eventually crashes his car into a wall. The reast of the song/suite/shitfest is spent dwelling on other people's reactions to the bad news. The best epitaph for this loser comes courtesy of the community at large: "He was a good man, he was a clean man/Yeah that's it, he was a good clean man."
We've included all the lyrics here so you can writh in agony at the thought of Roy singing them. A few lonely sitar/guitar strums and cello groans and and we're on our way! Even though the single was divided into two parts, we've taken the liberty to divide it into four movemnets just like YES! Imagine a sorta "In The Ghetto" groove for movement one: |  O.K. so Roy's psychedelic music was a bust. But Easy Rider Dennis Hopper would have no trouble getting high to "In Dreams" in everyone's favorite feel good movie of 1986, Blue Velvet. |
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"There was a man whose memories were memories were made of nothing He'd push the elevator button and go home to nothing Yes his business had prospered but women get lonely sometimes Now she has the house His son in college had dropped out to expand his mind And Sara his daughter had not spoken to him in some time Maybe he'd raised her the wro-haw-haw-haw-ng way He wondered...
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No mail from anyone! "I'm home," he said softly as he opened the door and gazed at his empty apar-har-har-har-rtment Aching...thinking... During this "aching and thinking" bit there's a dizzying orchestral flourish ala "A Day In the Life" quickly followed by eight sharp snare hits which usher us into the most upbeat of all the movements , numbah 2, which kinda sounds like the Association's "Windy" except no one's bending down to give you a rainbow, especially not Uncle Roy: 
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Southbound Jericho Parkway, is what you call a one way street Southbound Jericho Parkway, is what you call a one way street At twenty after seven, Monday after New Year's Mr. Henry Johnson leaned against the pedal Aimed his Lincoln steady and drove himself into a wall!
The swinging combo drops out and more creepy strings appear. Over this an omnipotent observation from Roy:
Right on, Roy! Insert some guitar feedback from the Electric Prines "I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night" and we're into movement III, the embarrassing go-go segment featuring the first signs of rhyme plus blaring horns, harmonica's and Henry Johnson's college dropout son and non-communicative daughter. Strangely enough, even though daughter Sara wasn't even speaking to her busy Dad, at least they took the time to name her. We never get to hear what snappy moniker they came up with for their son. Probably called him Sue!
An apartment in New York
She wished that she had phoned him yesterday
Movement four fades back into movement one to provide us with the tearful coda. Utilizing the "Ode To Billy Joe" device of using mundane observations to mask true feeling, the ex-wife who wound up with the house. She dutifully tells her late husband that the insurance check has just arrived, all news that no doubt brought Henry relief in the Great Beyond. Even so , she manages to work one last dig in at the kids' expense and at Henry -- his broker will be ringside at the funeral!
(This is where Roy reaches that "Crying" crescendo required by law in every Roy Orbison recording.)
Strings die down and the heavenly choir is already on the bus home. Whatever Roy and producer Don Grant paid the string players to sit through all seven minutes of this holocaust, it wasn't enough.
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| To preserve those memories of an invincible Roy, a man who was hurt by love and never by bad arrangers, stick with any of the numerous Monument collections, all which seem to start with "Only the Lonely" and end with "O Pretty Woman". His Sun sides are also highly recommended.
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