She was about to apologize, when he said, "I don't know... I'd never get over it if Brian were to... die... I just wish there was a way I could help him, but I can't..." he said on the verge of tears.
I can't feel anything... it is almost as if my body is not responding to me... why? And what is that sound I hear, so far away... it sounds like someone crying, why would anyone cry? I feel fine, I can't feel anything, no pain, no nothing... is this what death is? If it is, I like it... it's better than feeling my heart pounding on me all the time... but wait, I can't like it... there's Ryan ann who needs me... I couldn't leave her... I love her... yet this feeling of true bliss, of feeling nothing at all, I could learn to live with that, too... there goes the crying again... please don't cry, whoever you are...
Rye stopped crying. Was she dreaming, or had she just noticed his eyelash sort of flutter? She watched him intently, hoping that by concentrating really hard, she could see him move... but all she saw was Brian lying on his back, totally motionless and ready to die...
It wouldn't be that bad, anyway... it's not exactly called being selfish, either is it? I just feel so good this way, so free of anything bad... yet there is something missing...
There was a knock at the door, and Lauren came in slowly. Rye looked up from where she was sitting, "It is useless, ok? I am no help at all! You were wrong, he's just going to die and leave me all alone!" she yelled, sobbing uncontrollably.
Lauren didn't say anything, then after a moment she said, "Listen Ryan ann, what is happening to Brian right now is very serious, he is literally fighting death... and depending on how strong he is, he could either surrender to it and die... or come back to us...
"It may look like he's not listening to you at all, like he is completely out of it, but the truth is, in most cases, they can hear most of what you say. You CAN help him through this, Rye... and only you..."
Rye just stared at her angrily, her eyes red from all the crying, then started softening up. "I don't know..."
"Look, I'll go because I don't want to bother..." then with a smile she said, "Say hello to him from all of us, just talk to him like you would normally do, ok?"
"Ok..." she echoed, watching her leave. Rye turned to look at Brian, and got closer to him. She sat beside him and said, "Hey... I know I have done nothing but bother you today with my crying, but I can't help it... Brian you've got to come back to us..."
She stopped, remembering what Lauren had just told her. She sighed, "Ok, I have to talk to you normally, so bear with me... you know, did I mention that I really enjoyed last night's date? I think it was so romantic, with all those scented candles, with the beautiful view... and of course, with you being there... we should do it again, I think, how about that? I miss you..."
Ah, there goes that voice again, only this time it's not crying... oh please, keep on talking, I need to hear that sweet voice again, I don't know why I think I've heard it before...
"Oh who am I kidding," she thought out loud, biting her lip softly.
"I've been talking to him over an hour now and it has been of no use..." She sighed, then looked at him... she didn't speak, just pleaded with all her might that he would say something, anything to her...
I hear nothing, don't stop talking please... maybe I should just give up to this darkness surrounding me, anyway, I wouldn't have to go through all this pain just to listen to some voice... as sweet as it is...
Rye held his hand and feeling the tears coming back for the umpteenth time that day, she said softly, "I love you, Brian, do you hear that? I love you! I've never loved anyone like I'm loving you right now, and you know what, it wouldn't be fair if you left me just when I found you... I want to be with you now and forever, and you promised to do the same for me, Brian, so fight for this, ok! I love you, I love you... I love you..." she cried softly, and repeated it over and over again, sinking on the floor beside him again, with her arms around her knees, she cried herself to sleep.
A.J, Kevin, and Howie sat silently in the waiting room, doing just that... waiting... waiting for some news, waiting for a miracle...
"Guys, this is serious..." spoke up A.J.
"You think?" Howie said sarcastically.
"No, I mean, we can't lose him, he can't just go like that..."
Kevin said with his eyes closed, "Don't say that, he won't if we just prayed for him... I know Brian, he's strong, he can go through this..."
"Let's hope so..." said Howie with a sigh...
It was a few minutes later, and Rye woke up with a sudden jolt. She didn't know why, but then she remembered, she was pretty sure she had heard a noise. A movement that had come from the bed...
She rose up excitedly and looked at Brian, hoping, wishing that he would be smiling at her, crack a joke, tell her he was ok...
Her face turned to disappointment as she realized that he was just as he'd been before, practically lifeless, and his only way of breathing being through that breathing mask...
She began to sit down again, when she stood up again. Wait a sec, she thought... His hand- it was over his heart but that was not the way she remembered, it had been hanging by the bed... right by me where I had been holding it before I fell asleep...
It couldn't be, she thought again, maybe I put it back there... but then suddenly, from the corner of her eye, she noticed one of his fingers moving...
Ryan ann gasped, as she watched that shaking finger make its way to her hand. It rested there for a second, then she watched as the whole hand came to life, gripping her hand tightly. Rye watched as the tears started welling out, without saying a word...
"Brian..." she whispered, tightening her grip on his hand. "I know you can hear me now... you can do it, you see, you've made it this far... you can... I love you..."
She kept on looking at him for any other sign of movement, but there was none, and with a silent sigh, she lay her head down on his stomach and started crying again...
Brian's eyes opened slowly, and slowly looked around, trying to remember just where exactly he was. It almost felt as if he had just woken up from a nightmare... he thought, remembering the crash, the darkness, then... nothing at all... he heard someone sobbing near him, and his heart cried out for this person...
"Brian, I love you.. please don't give up when you've gotten this far..." she finally whispered.
Brian's thoughts were silent for a second, then everything came back to him as he realized that that sweet voice he had heard all along those dreams were of Rye... but they weren't dreams... she had been with him all along...
He lifted his free hand slowly, ignoring the pain he felt shoot through his body, and began to stroke her hair.
The sobbing stopped, and Brian smiled as he watched Rye slowly move her head up to look at him. He grinned. "Hi..." he said, his voice a little muffled through the breathing mask.
He watched as her whole face started smiling, and she put her arms around him in a hug.
"Brian!"
"Ooow..." Rye heard as she hugged Brian tightly.
She pulled away quickly and exclaimed, with tears in her eyes, "I'm so sorry... I just can't believe.. I mean..."
"Shh..." Brian said with a tired smile, bringing her head down on his chest, and he stroked her hair softly as he heard her cry quietly. He put both hands under her chin and she looked up at him as he whispered, "I love you, too..."
She stared at him, her eyes shining with tears... then she smiled slowly and whispered, "You heard me..."
Brian didn't say anything, he just smiled. Then after a few seconds, he said, "You saved my life..."
He stopped, then gave a short cough, his hand against his chest. Rye stood up quickly, letting the chair fall behind her...
She ran to the door and opened it quickly, still hearing Brian coughing uncontrollably, while taking short gasps of breath through the breathing mask... oh no, she thought, I'm not going to lose you again, not when I've finally gotten you back...
"Lauren! Somebody, anybody! Help, I need help!" she yelled, feeling more tears coming out. She ran back in the room to Brian and held his hand, crying, "Brian, what's wrong..."
She heard the race of footsteps down the hall, and several people in white long coats rushed in, which she guessed were doctors, and Lauren rushed in right after them, too, with Nick behind her.
"Rye, Nick, you guys have got to follow me, you can't stay here," said Lauren softly, as both Nick and Rye watched the doctors screaming out orders. Rye took one last look at Brian before she followed them out to wait with the others... to wait for any news, to wait for a miracle...
She sat on one of the long couches, feeling everyone's eyes on hers... She buried her hands on her face and cried, thinking that he couldn't have given up so quickly... or maybe it was her fault... she had probably hurt him when she hugged him, but she couldn't help it, she cried...
"You guys, don't worry..." spoke up Howie, as everyone looked up at him. "I mean it is a good sign anyway that he has come out of the coma, no? So this is probably nothing?" he said, looking uncertain himself.
"Howie D, ever the optimistic..." mumbled A.J.
"I killed him..." whispered Rye, as if in a trance.
"Huh?" they all stared at her.
"It was all my fault, I know it was..." she said softly.
There was a silence, as no one knew what they were supposed to say.
"Guys, this is ridiculous, this is really not the time to blame ourselves..." spoke up Kevin, angrily, "Anyway, Brian wouldn't want us to do that..."
Rye didn't reply, she just stared straight ahead. She could see a figure approaching, it was a man in a long white coat, with papers in his hand... it was a doctor, she realized, and he was headed towards them with a grim expression...
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