Why? Because it's CHRISTMAS!!!! Okay, so it's a long, long time until December the 25th, but we have several glorious weeks ahead of us now - weeks of planning and preparation; weeks of shopping and choosing; weeks of whingeing and whining; weeks of wishing and hoping. Chesnuts roasting on an open fire - well, if you can join the queue in Oxford Street, anyway. Glittering displays in Selfridges and going to see Santa at Harrods. Sparkly things.
You see, I'm a magpie. I admit it - if it's shiny, I'm there. I think it's something to do with when I was a kid. My dad was Scrooge himself, you see. Always mirthful in summer, his cheer would vanish at the first touch of frost, and stay hidden away until springtime. My mother would try to keep dad happy, so it ended up with me sitting forlornly by a pathetic twig in the corner, begging dad to turn the heating on and desperately pitying any unfortunate carol singer who dared to come within a mile of our house, as they were briskly sent packing with tuppence and an orange (joy!).
All this had the effect of turning me into a Christmasoholic. Christmas itself is pretty cool, obviously, but it's the build-up that gets me. The excitement, the anticipation and all the really cool stuff that comes into BHS the minute the kids are back at school. From October to January, the air is full of festive cheer, and we can celebrate the changing of the seasons in style. October is pumpkin pie and warming soups. All topped off with my birthday at the end of the month. November starts with the bonfire night celebrations and ends with the mad shopping spree that is the yuletide consumerist dash. December is just... fantastic. It doesn't get dark at night in December - there are too many glittering fairy lights about. Thick, fluffy snowflakes fall haphazardly on harrassed shoppers and everyone is grinning and laughing. Liberty's window display competes with Hamley's as the most outrageously dazzling piece of retail fairyland on Earth.
Do forgive me for this relentless enjoyment of the consumerist festival, but Christmas to me is the high point of the year. You needn't lecture me about principles, I am a Christian, and never forget the spiritual origins of the festival. I start Christmas Day at Church, and feel thus entitled to celebrate one of the most important festivals of the religious calendar.
But the thing I do need to justify is why I insist on celebrating a one day festival for three months of the year. Because it's fun, that's why. Because I happen to like the continual repetition of Slade, Wizzard and the Pogues in every shop in town. Because I watch The Muppet Christmas Carol at any time of the year. Because Miracle on 34th Street is a great film. Because British Home Stores start selling chocolate liquer in wibbly glass bottles. Because you need to snuggle in cold weather to keep warm. Because of hot cocoa with marshmallows. Because everybody secretly hates mince pies. Because of hot mulled wine. Because of the office decoration competition. Because of the Christmas party when you laugh at your drunken colleagues. Because of the shamelessly slushy festive movie fodder. Because of Bond. Because of the smell of pine trees and cranberries. Because of mistletoe leaves that keep falling off. Because of prickly holly and tasteless decorations. Because of silly musical novelties and fluffy reindeers. Because of television. Because of carol singers. Because of Christmas classical concert recitals. Because of your friend's little sister in the school panto. Because of people you never get to see at any other time of year. Because of games of charades and Monopoly. Because of getting loads of snogs on New Year's Eve. Because of great, big fluffy teddy bears and shiny silver baubles. Because of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Because of dad whingeing in the corner.
Ah.... I wish it
could be Christmas every day...