Evil Rebirth: Hammerhead Alert (HATEMAIL)

Hammerhead Alert (HATEMAIL)

My comments are in dark blue while the unfortunate hammerhead's comments are in baby purple.

HAMMERHEAD #1:

This is the first hatemail I've received since Evil Rebirth's inception. Some illiterate fellow who calls himself "Chase Bednar" sent it to my nabooru (praise-mail) account. Let me remind you that hatemail goes to this account (and I made the address big so you blind teenyboppers can read it):
ganonpuff@iname.com

And now, let's see the nice things Chase has to say—even thinking about it warms my heart:

I love Britney, No one loves you.

Boohoo, no one loves me—so? Britney doesn't love you either!

I guess that make one more person that loves Britney Britney and not you.

Thanks for telling me! I never knew Britney's first name is her last name! Not that I give a damn, though......

I am sorry did I tell the truth.

You say that no one loves me and then you say you're sorry. Get a clue, dimwit.

Where is your number one album.

Correction: "Where is your number one album that went to number one because you have the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync supporting you, and all you did was sit around and looking pretty?". I don't have, or need, this kind of "number one album".

To ugly that no one will let you have a try at it.

Your teacher obviously never taught you how to write a complete sentence......

That is a bad things to here.

......or, for that matter, a logical one. WTF do you mean by that?

I am sorry if you can not sing or dance slut. Not everyone can be talented like Britney. Sluts and fat whores like you can't.

Why are you saying sorry to me again!? This is supposed to be HATEMAIL you idiot! Also, you haven't met me; how do you know if I'm a slut, and can't sing or dance? You have ESP?

The truth is you would love to Be Britney.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You say I love to be some poseur who stuffs her head with helium and her boobs with silicone. (You don't know what those are? You should have paid more attention in science class!) So much for you having ESP.

She has money, guys and, fans. None of things that you have or will ever be able to get.

I have a life, and at least half a brain. None of which (not "None of things"; a little English grammar lesson here) that you or Britney have or will ever be able to get.

Using your parents for sex does not make them your fans or even love you. You mom says she does not want to have sex with you anymore. She said you are to ugly and she rather have Britney.

Thanks for your creative commentary; send it to Jerry Springer. And another thing: is the word "too" too difficult for you to spell correctly? I mean, it's only 3 letters long and you can't spell it. Says a lot about the intelligence of teenyboppers, eh?

So whore,

So retard,

make fun of me and when you do that mean that I prove me point.

First, the word "mean" is useless in this sentence. Second, it's "I prove my point", not "I prove me point". Third, what point do you have to prove? That Britney's talented, sexy, etc.? Sorry kid, everything Britney did disproved that!

I bet you won't even put this nice letter on your page you whore.

Well, you lost your bet—guess who's gonna have to pay?

Lets see that you are and what Britney is

And let's see where you stack up

You:Slut, Whore, bitch, prevert, fat, ugly, etc list goes on

Britney: Hot, sexy, skinny, etc and many more

Chase Bednar: Stupid, illiterate, clueless, retarded, needs to go back to Grade 1, etc and continued

Thank You

Not surprising, considering that he says "sorry" so many times in a hatemail.

woof! woof! I'm @dog.com
Get your free @dog e-mail at http://www.dog.com

That domain name sure suits him well......(NOTE: I don't reveal the e-mail addresses of idiots who send me hatemail, but I'll still have comments if the domain name is funny, like this one: "woof! woof!")

Miseducation
Author, Evil Rebirth
April 22, 1999

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Send praise mail to <nabooru@dangerous-minds.com>
OR hatemail to <ganonpuff@iname.com>

Evil Rebirth is written by Miseducation on March 18, 1999.
South Park & characters ©1999 Comedy Central.
The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time & characters ©1998 Nintendo.