ash wednesday @ 11 pm
ani difranco in my cd player
a razor blade to my wrist
she is not a pretty girl and neither am i
im not looking for the meaning in the song this time
my bathtub is filled and its ready
waiting for me
i stare at the rust on the blade
run it across my lips and taste the essence of death
questioning its flavor
one quick swipe
its a motion down my wrist and then the blood comes
painlessness at first
but not deep enough for where im going
the song changes
i cut a little deeper
close my eyes and clench my teeth
try not to focus on the pain
the pain towards myself to cause pain to the others
i push harder and pull it faster
cutting in the wrong direction
o razer blade o razer blade
arent you sharp enough
another blade
another try
another cut
another drop of blood
all of its the same to me
and all i can think
ill never listen to this cd again
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