the school quarter ended, an there I stood ...
stranded ha ...
it was harder then I thought yes...
I dont think I made it ... no ... the nite was drunk and it was now winter ...
Christmas vacation ... the almighty restin
period ...
I was livin in this fraternity house.
Everybody's gone ... they all went home ... the house?
mine ... belongs t me.
big lonesome house.
nobody's even ???? not even in the kitchen ...
I sat between two barrals of butter this mornin. thinkin about poor me.
sittin between two barrals of butter.
it's now nite the street is mine.
god it's lonesome ...
who will I go see?
I love Judy.
Judy says she loves me but she also says she's busy. I told her I love her ...
I hate her cause I sense she dont love me ...
I wish I didn't love her. I wish she'd invite me for christmas for
christ's sake ... I wish I had a car ...
I wish I wish. Hey mr. christmas man I wanna know where I'm supposed t be.
gimme that for christmas ... (no answer).
I shut the lights off in the main room of the house so nobody can see me an I
watch out the window ...
dirty window nobody even cleans the windows here
well it aint gonna be me (bitin my teeth)
I'm just
roomin here ... they advertised for boarders an they got me ...
they didn't get no fraternity pledge of alligence cat whose got t wait
on them or their windows ...
I aint even friends with any of em
they think I'm odd ... my clothes an hair aint right ...
they smile at me too ...
sometimes I smile back but then they chuckle ...
why in the fuck do they chuckle?
I gotta chuckle back what's they start it for?
headlights turn into the alley!
somebody's comin ...
I quick pick up the phone an pretend I'm talkin ...
dont want nobody whoever it is t think I'm all alone here ...
the brakes slam the car door slams the screen door slams an somebody
who I hardly know walks up the steps an seems startled by me ...
he stops headin for whatever he was headin for as he hears me say
goodbye an hang up the phone ...

"you been here the last couple day?"
"no I went up north but came back down"
"aint yuh going home for christmas?"
"well I did man but like I said I came back down"
"well where you going for christmas?"

I look out the window pretendin I'm waiting for somebody -
he's gotta have porpoise brains t believe this

"I dont know I got about three places I chose from"
"yeah well I's just surprised t see anybody here that's all"
"yeah well I'm kinda takin care the house ha"
"I'm on my way upstairs t get some books see yuh on my way down"

he jumped the steps three at a time thud thud ...
man if I had the guts I think I do I'd steal
your louzy car an turn on your louzy heat an drive down
that lousy road ... an blow out your lousy radio -
thud thud ... he's back again wavin notebooks.

"see yuh take it easy now"
"yeah yeah take it easy too"

I walked upstairs ... the house was cold ...
the first snow that fell had melted
outside it was rainin
in the mornin there'd be snow again
I stopped into somebody's room an glanced
over some dirty magazines ... man I wish I could jump right
into one a them magazines ... ah yes gimme that
for christmas too ...
what's all this wrapped up ribbon shit ...
gimme some kinda world t jump into ...
judy judy god damn I gotta call judy ...
ring ring her ma answers.
her ma hates me.
snobby sort ...
wants the best for her daughter.
society bitch.
bitch of a mother ...
talks down at me when she knows it's me callin ...
sometimes she even says that judy aint there ...
judy says not t call at certain times ...
ah man it's all so fuckin complicated ...

"is judy there?"
"pause"
"is judy there?"
"muffled sound"
"I gotta talk t judy"
"a muffled silence"
"hello"
"hello judy?"
"I told you not t call what d'yuh think you're doing?"
"I just gotta ask yuh something"
"what?"

I feel good from hearin her voice but feel sad
cause I know she's gotta go ...
probably with someone else ...
someone else her mother likes an makes more sence t her than me ...
ah I wanna cry out load an scream over the phone ...

"when can I see you?"
"I told you not t come back"
"yah but yuh said you loved me"
"but I cant see yuh this week"
"why?"
"cause I made other plans that's why"
"but you love me - you said yourself"
"but I cant break plans"
"what d'yuh mean yuh cant, will yuh please come over here, it wont take long an ..."
"but I dont break dates"
"dates? ah wow I just ... I mean I dont understand"
"look I gotta go please dont call til after Christmas"
"Judy you son of a bitch you said ... that ..."
click
"you said that you loved me ..."
slam