Yet Another Quote Page
Number Four
"For all the sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-John Greenleaf Whittier
"Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for 20 years."
"The world is run by C-average students."
"Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?"
"I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name...'"
-Mike Binder
"Egghead: What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty"
"Coffee sweetened with No-Doz...Students fuel..."
"I'm not as dumb as you look."
"Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
And sat down beside her
So she ate that too."
"He has an intellect rivaled only by garden tools."
"Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids."
"Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death & sweet as love."
-Turkish proverb
"I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS."
"Hell Hath No Pizza."
"Don't talk unless you can improve the silence."
Words are things and a small drop of ink
Falling like dew, upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions think.
-Lord Byron
"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained then lying to others."
"Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause.With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes.With male menopause you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles."
-Rita Rudner
"Katie's Four Food Groups: Coffee, Soda, Chocolate, and Pizza."
"The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom."
"Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you."
-Wendy Leibman
"I like to leave messages *before* the beep."
"Mary had a little lamb,
she tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
And turned it's wool to nylon."
"If you can't be good, be careful."
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."
-Mae West
"Caution: Hungry Dieter May bite if provoked"
"Chipmunks roasting on an open fire...."
-Me, singing christmas carols
"If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted."
-Jack Handey
"I'm making a career of evil."
"Do you find it more rewarding to compete
with the morons throughout this land?
They seem to be in power so i kick
back and get farther behind,
and i watch them as they fuck up
every good thing on this earth with their minds."
-Bad Religion, 'What Can You Do?'
"If in doubt, make it sound convincing."
"If homosexuality is a disease, let all of them call in queer to work. 'Hello, can't work today. Still queer.'"
-Robin Taylor
"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."
-Carol Leifer
"It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money." -Jack Handey
"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute. I taught her that."
-Ellen Degeneres
"I will love the light for it shows me the way,
Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars."
"Hot Coffee & cold pizza: the breakfast of champions!!!"
"There is no such thing as sleep deprivation,there's only caffeine deficiency."
"Much madness is divinest sense."
-Emily Dickinson
"Given enough coffee, I could rule the world" -Me
"If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things."
-Rene Descartes
"No scoundrel is ever uninteresting."
"Do only what is expected of me,
with no emotions my feelings suppressed,
blind obedience carries me through all
Consciece a word i learned to forget."
-Slayer, 'Behind the Crooked Cross'
"The first thing i do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."
"Life is just one damned thing after another."
"I have to make things make sense, but i can't
I'm happy just to watch them all and laugh"
-Bad Religion, 'When'
"Surgeons must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the Culprit- Life!"
-Emily Dickinson
"If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth."
"The powers of a man's mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks."
-Sir James Mackintosh
"Observation, not old age, brings wisdom."
"If you want a symbolic gesture, don't burn the flag, wash it."
"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult...."
"Extinction, degradation; the natural outsomes of our ordered lives,
Power, motivation; temporary fixtures for which we strive."
-Bad Religion, 'Entropy'
"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore." -Ogden Nash
"We are not satisfied to be right, unless we can prove others to by quite wrong."
"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing i know."
-Ernest Hemmingway
"Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it... as well as contributing to the need for it."
-Alfred Hitchcock
"Oh yeah, i'm not respectable and never sensible,
I've been incredible, so damned irascible
And i like the things i do, so hooray for me"
-Bad Religion, 'Hooray for Me'
"Sniff...Whazat?! Zat's coffee!"
-Garfield
"I think i am better than the people tyring to reform me."
"I used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body, and then i realized..'What is telling me that?!?'"
-Emo Phillips
"Folks who blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought."
"God for you is where you sweep away all the mysteries of the world, all the challenges to our intelligence. You simply turn your mind off and say god did it."
-Contact
"It is caffeine alone that sets my mind in motion. t is through beans of java that thoughts acquire speed, that hands acquire shakes, that shakes become a warning... I am...IN CONTROL...OF MY ADDICTION!"
"What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg into an electric fan.."
Hey Mark.. "Look, Sheep!"
"To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy."
-Hippocrates
"I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you-Nobody-too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Don't tell! They'd advertise-you know!
How dreary- to be- Somebody!"
-Emily Dickinson
"I'm a freak 'cause my morals
clash with others in the world."
-Bad Religion 'Damned to Be Free'
"I make lousy coffee. That's why I put bourbon in it...."
"Let your speech be better than silence, or be silent."
-Dionysus
"What's wrong with eating frozen orange juice?!?!"
-said by me to Chantel (haha)
"A man named jim lives in my lava-lamp"
"Sugar is bad...Hitler ate sugar"-Little kid Daria was babysitting.
"Strange times are these in which we live when the old and the young are taught falsehoods in the schools of learning. And the one man that dares to tell the truth is called at once a lunatic and a fool…"
-Plato
"Caffeine Free Diet Jolt Cola? Is nothing sacred?!"
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
-Shakespeare
The windows of my soul are made of one-way glass, don't bother looking into my eyes if there's something you want to know, just ask"
-Ani DiFranco
"I believe in questioning authority until a certain point and that point is reached when I become the authority."
"Honesty's a virtue that can hurt you"-Eve 6
"...and always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said "Shit! A truck!"
"Some people never go crazy. What miserable lives they must lead."
"There's an old joke. Uh, two elderly women are at a Catskills mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know, and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life. Full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly."
-Woody Allen.
"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."
-A. Whitney Brown
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry, because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?"
"I've been thinking, Hobbes."
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose...."
-Calvin&Hobbes
"20,000 years from now, when future archaeologists are excavating the remains of our civilization, they will undoubtedly conclude that we lived in a matriarchal society and worshipped a female deity named 'Barbie'."
"Eat shit!- Ten billion flies can't be wrong."
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
-George Bernard Shaw
"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you--not because they are nice, but because you are."
"Forgive me now - tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty."
-Ashleigh Brilliant
"Happiness : An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another."
-Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
"My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
"Never lose your nerve, your temper or your car keys."
"Pooh," said Rabbit kindly,"You haven't any brain."
"I know," said Pooh humbly.
"Why do I get the feeling that someday I'll be describing this to a psychiatrist???"
-Lisa Simpson
"Yesterday, I was a dog. Today, I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope of advancement."
-Snoopy
"Excuse me, el doctor! Hello...? Don't sew anything up thats supposed to remain open, ok?"
[City slickers]
"There are two reasons why some people don't mind their own business. One is that they haven't any mind, the other - that they haven't any business."
"As an educational device, TV rates above everything else. No nation in history has ever known as much as we do about detergents and deodorants."
"School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence."
-H.L. Mencken
He who said "Talk is cheap" never listened to a child tell what he wants for Christmas."
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to."
-Einstien
"Thou goatish boil-brained malt-worm!" -Shakespeare
"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper."
-Robert Frost
"I detest life-insurance agents; they argue that some day I shall die, which is not so."
-Stephen Leacock
"Everyone you love leaves a mark on your soul" Bad Religion
"I'm not a cool guy anymore,
as if I ever was before.."
-Descendents
"Never eat anything bigger than your head."
"Always censoring my every move,
children are seen but not heard,
tear out everything inspired!"
-Metallica
"Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages."
-Thomas Edison
"In heaven all the interesting people are missing."
-Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"Its ok not to be a dick." --Anti-Flag
"If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number."
"Cooking is a minor art; I can't imagine a hilarious soufflé, or a deeply moving stew."
"A Righteous student came and asked me to reflect,
he just my life style politically correct,
I dont believe in self important folks who preach,
No Bad Religion song can make your life complete"
-Bad Religion No Direction
"Nowadays the illiterates can read and write."
"One leader. A thousand slaves. For every throne there's a thousand graves. One future. Two choices: oppose them or let them destroy us."
Propagandhi, 'Head, chest or foot?'
"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."
"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes"
-The Witches, 'MacBeth', by Shakespeare
The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing."
-Albert Einstein
"Do you feel lucky, PUNK?!" - Clint Eastwood
"Mr. Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing."
Charlie Brown: I think I'm afraid to be happy.
Lucy: How can you be afraid to be happy?
Charlie Brown: Because whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens."
"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
-Voltaire
"Never frown...even when you're sad 'cause you never know when someone's falling in love with your smile." (Bah!-Katie)
Jake: Anxiety? What could be giving you anxiety, sweetie?
Daria: Um, let's see. Every aspect of my life?
-Daria (one of the few tv shows i watch)
"One Nation, with Liberty, Large Fries, and a Coffee to go!"
"The question is not would you die for a friend but do you have a friend worth dying for."
Goodnight, goodnight! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow."
-Juliet in Romeo+Juliet
I try to use my music as a machine to move these people to act-to get changes done"
-Jimi Hendrix
"If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian."
-Paul McCartney
"When we talk about equal pay for equal work, women in the workplace are beginning to catch up. If we keep going at this current rate, we will achieve full equality in about 475 years. I don't know about you, but I can't wait that long." -Lya Sorano
"Of all the people I know... you're one of them."
"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
"America is the land of the Hypocrite." -The Violent Femmes
Article 18:Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.
Article 19:Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.
From the Universal Declaration of Human Rights
"Are you happy 'cause you smile? How much can you fake?"
-Our Lady Peace 'Superman's Dead'
"Every man has one thing that he can do better than anyone else - and usually it's reading his own handwriting."
"Reality continues to ruin my life." -Calvin
"CRUMPETS?!!!! I'm to be Lord of the Crumpets?!!! . . . Forget it. Wanna be a punk rocker." -Prince William
"It is time to talk of many things, of shoes and ships and ceiling wax, of cabbages, and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings."
-Lewis Carroll
"I think not, you psycho nutbag poser."
"Honolulu- it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."
"Psychoanalysis makes quite simple people feel they're complex."
"History does not always repeat itself. Sometimes it just yells 'Can't you remember anything I told you?' and lets fly with a club."
"Oh, help me! They're forcing me to me to have fun! Make it stop!"
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