Tokyo Nights

12/1

Well I got some new pussy, finally. Last Saturday I had a date with a girl I met on Halloween. She wanted to see me. Shinkjuku, 6 PM. I was there, she didn't show up. I called her mobile about three times and she never answered. I didn`t care that much because I didn't go for her all that much. But I was interested in a little date with her,

So I hung around Shinkjuk for a while, looked at some places that will soaml you off. But I have a policy about those places, i don't want to spend money. I want to believe i can gt some on my own. So I went to the Gas Panic in Roppongi.

I walked in for the second time that night. I noticed a girl with a nice but going up the stairs, and thought I would like some of that. Unbeknowest to me, I would be taking that girl home that night. I talked to her for a little bit. we danced a bit. I asked if she wanted to go downstairs and dance. She said Ok and we went. I massaged her neck and back and she got really excited. She really liked my touching I guess. She asked me where I live, and how far etc.

She was pretty drunk, so I said "well, would you like to visit?". And she said ok. So that was that, I would take her home and screw her. We talked a bit on the way to my place, and I kept massaging her. As soon as we reached my room, she got on my bed. She was ready. I didn't even have to kiss her, just took off her pants and panties and went to work. She was like a wild animal. Her movements were so fast and hard I got tired. She yelled out something like "I'm come!" and she did, three times that night. At first, after discovering her parts were not so big, I said we wouldn't have to do anything. But somehow she got me in her and went from there. The next morning she left. we didn7t exchange numbers or anything, just went our different ways, which seemed to be just fine.

after that morning she left, I slept for about 8 hours. Biker girl and my American friend Brian came over. We ate pizza and talked.Biker girl came over the next night too. We had pretty passionate sex.She got a job as a hostess at a place in Roppongi. She gets proposals and phone numbers and requests to meet again. But she seems not too interested. That could change. Money, Cool/Rich guys etc, she met some martial arts champion last night. I figure she want will go out with some of them some time.

Dec 8

I have slowed down recently. I haven't gone to a club since last time I wrote. Oh I did go with a couple of friends to one in Ikebukuro, but couldn't(at least I felt it would be strange since one of my friends was a girl) pick up any girls while I was there. I have been fighting a bad cough and runny nose, on top of possible bronchitis. But I am on the end of that and feeling better. I figure I will probably go out once or twice this weekend. One problem is this place I like has a strict dress code, so I can't dress the way I would like to. I have to dress "spiffy" yuck.This place has turned me down four times. I have to come up with something to get me through and clothes I feel ok in. My green suit might work.

I have also been dealing with some emotions I havn't dealt with before. Basically, I didn't like the feeling of being one of many by biker girl. Also I was getting the feeling she was using my room like it was her own because she knew I wouldn't reject her coming over and my place was convenient. As I suspected would happen she got a job as a hostess as one of those scuzzy bars in Roppongi. The kind that rip you off for as much as you've got. Gee whiz what a surprise this girl got that job. Is she one of those girls who'll take you for all you've got. I know that is rough.But could it be true? The other night though she came over and cooked me curry rice. Why? I can't understand. I guess she likes me, but on the other hand something seems screwed up. Anyway my natural reaction is to start getting out of this relationship. Maybe when things start to get too hot I feel like bailing out. Is that the real me?

Maybe what bothers me is how she is geting more than me. Maybe I'm just jealous? She tells me how she screws these guys on the first date etc, and say later how big of assholes they were. You figure? I figure she likes them really. I figure this is not a girl I want to keep seeing. Because if I were to fall in love, (which will not happen with girl where I'm number 6 for that week)with that girl or kind of girl, I will become very unhappy because there is no way she would be my girl and stick with just me. Because I want to be thought of as special by someone. I have to remember she has done some nice things for me, help me buy cool clothes, give me some support, invited me to her home, cooked a couple of great dinners for me. I plan to invite her to my Christmas party, but I don't see a strong relationship beyond that. Maybe she will uninvite herself from my party. I just feel I need to get away from her in strong way. I have a feeling she is going to crash and I don't want to get close.

On the other hand she has been pretty resourceful and screwed around for 7 years (she said since she was 12) so I don't need to say (like I think you're gonna crash) anything to her. She can take care of herself.

Ihave been giving this a lot of thought.

Last night after getting to a stalemate in chess with Brian, I went to A-chan's house and watched a Tiwanese movie about a Mafia guy in Kabukicho. It was "cool guy" meets "stupid, crazy, fucked up bitch" who takes out some mob guys for no other reason than to protect himself. Nothing with any real passion or meaning. A-chan and I had some warm touching, but because it was her period we stopped short of sex. It was the first time in a while for us to get that close. I lke she appriciated the affection. We have been friends for almost a year. She has givin me some good advice and support when I needed it. As much as "if it don't make dollars it don't make sense" is true, sometimes I need advice and support. I should make the ultimate goal to be self-reliant and think out problems myself. But I can't answer all my questions so easily myself.A-chan is easy to talk to and some knowledge and helps me out sometimes.

Dec 11

I need to get a life, get real. I spend too too much time thinking about deez sluts. Discovered world sex guide page for Japan. information about Tokyo was right on. However, it mentioned Kabuki-cho quite a bit. I went to Kabuki-cho to go to some clubs, and the clubs there really sucked.So I have not been back. I guess I should have looked for just a straight fuck. But the place seemed almost too scuzzy for me. I know I need to be more open. Variety is the spice of life. But I have spent enough money on semi-prostitues and only some of them were memorable. And I don't have any money saved. So I feel stupid and used. I feel my money is in the hands of the mob.

Biker has not called me in some time. Maybe she has the same feeling as me. Stop. Everytime I think of her now, I think of all the guys she has screwed, and I almost feel like a rather go to a prostitute. That is crazy but true. I think now I know what bothers me. It is that she fucks these guys, then discovers that they are real assholes, then she bitches to me about them. I7m just thinking to my self, "you are slut, and get the fuck out of my room" she is like worse than a whore because she gives it up for free to such retarded assholes. At least prostitutes get money from these stupid losers. I am trying not to continue being a stupid loser by going to those places. I have not been to one since September I think. And before that it was like several months so I have really not gone to those places recently. I used to alot last year and a bit in early '98. It is a RIP OFF so going is only like screwing myself. ----- Looking forward to something special, because that is what I want to be ----------

Its hard. Its hard to be able to go to those crummy places and not let yourself go.I think, what would snoop dogg say. he keeps his mind on his money and doesn't give money to ho's. I have to remember those words. He says be original, keep your mind on your business and your money. Don't fall in love. Use your mind, not your heart. Its hard. Its not easy. save your money, become someone... a doctor, a lawyer, an accoutant, football player, whatever. Don't give your money to the mob. When you go to one of those blow job, sex massage places, your money just makes them richer. What do you get, a blow. Is it worth it. NO. What can I do? I must get what I want. I want to keep my money.I want a nice room in live in. I want a sharp car or vehicle to be mine. I want to live in a great place. I want to be able to spend money without worry I will ever run out. I want to be respected. I worked hard for that money, I don't want it going into somebody else's hands without me getting something far more valuable. I need to be a businessman. Think in terms of value and money. The world has changed. Men can't beat each other up for stuff like they used to. Its a battle of brains over brawn. Maybe I should spend freely. No I want to own my own business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to own it, and not have to worry about day to day decsions. Just make money.

Dec 28

i fucked for Christmas. It wasn't a good fuck, but it was a fuck. I met her last Tuesday at a club. She was dancing kind of funny. I saw her look at me. I said hello in kind of a funny way.She went back to dancing. some wierd Arab looking guy tried to dance with her but she went off to smoke. I thought I would like to try talking to her. I went up to her and said Hi. I talked with her, I basically tried to find out more about her. She said she wanted to go to overseas (Canada or the US) for four years to learn English and get a good job. She was fuckable. She had nice firm boobs and somewhat tall and healthy looking. I thought I would like to know her more, but she was acting a little goofy. She must of liked how I treated her or something, I asked her if she would like to get together on Christmas, she said OK. But she said call me about the time etc. It was getting near 12 and I wanted to go home, so I did. Even thought I wanted to kiss her, I didn't. I didn't want to come off as too easy. It also didn't feel right. I am trying to be me, use my own senses more.

I called her the next night,invited her to just mess around at my place and at the park, I would make Tacos, and we would see a movie later. We decided to meet Christmas day at 1:00 at Shinjuku station. I called about 11 that day and made sure everything was OK. She said it was. then later called and said she would be a little late. After a mess trying to find her at the station, I took her to my place, after making a quick stop at the super market to pick up some taco supplies.As soon as we got to my place, we talked a bit. I was a little tense. Fortunatly my friend Brian came over. I helped him find a movie to go watch that day. I gave him a taco and he liked it. He left and I felt better. I kinda cuddled the girl a little bit. I decided to give her a massage. She said she really liked my massage. I got off her shirt and bra. then sucked her breasts for a while. They were nice. I felt her down below for a bit, but she decided no further. Well I felt I got enough right there so I said lets go outside. We played frisbee for a little bit, I showed her my hacky sack, and I held her as we watched the sun go down. We went back in my room. Wrestled a bit and did it. Then we fell asleep for a few hours. After we awoke we did it again, but we were both tired. It was not very good sex. I blasted off way too early but I tried to make her feel as good with other things as I could. End of that. I took her back to Shinjuku. And said goodbye at the station. The next night biker girl came over and we had great sex three times. Wow. Why is it that it didn't work out well on Christmas. I think if there is pressure to do well, it doesn't. And if there is not pressure, things go great. So I should just think fuck it. Take a deep breath and enjoy.

I called tooth girl (I will call her this because she has a funny tooth) back to see if she wanted to go out again. When I called she was bit busy and said she would call me back later. She was busy this week but said next weekend would probably be OK. I am doing my best to be myself and do what I think is best for her and myself to have a mutually beneficial relationship and have fun too.You only live once.

Go to '99

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