"Answer: why bother asking such a dumb question? Barney isn't real, only a make-believe character for dumb kids like the one who said 'Barney, 'cause Hanson sucks' to like."
"I'm just glad I searched for Barney instead of my son. And people wonder what's wrong with our kids, and why they're killing and being killed?"
"I love Barney, and I hate Hanson. I love Barney so much I'm breaking out into song right now. I love you, you love me, we're a happy family...Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination and when he's tall he's what we call a dinosaur SENSATION!"
"Hey Barney, you'd better listen and listen good. When somebody says they can kick your butt, you should believe them."
"I have to admit, I do like Hanson. But, your story was kinda funny."
"Hanson is a billion times better than that big fat dinosaur! I love Hanson. They're the best band."
"I think you should be ashamed of yourself and say 'Hanson rules!' every day of your life! Hanson rules!"
"Does anyone besides me hate both of them?"
"Hanson because at least they don't have to be followed by kids, and Barney is a big fat purple puppet freak."
"Hanson is cool. Zac should not die. Barney--yes. Hanson--no."
"Hi, your story was so funny! Where do you come up with this stuff? I love Hanson. They're my favorite, and usually I get mad when I see anti-Hanson websites that just bash them, but this was different. I can tell that Hanson is not your favorite, but you made something really cool without totally bashing them. I think if the Hansons read this, they would probably laugh their heads off! But I still think you should fix the ending, because Hanson rocks, and they should've won. Barney is not worthy of Hanson's presence."
"That was very rude! I am disgusted at the fact that you dis Hanson. They are fine and smart, funny, intelligent kids. I LOVE HANSON."
"Barney sucks, but Hanson suck worse so...BARNEY."
"Hanson could whoop Barney's big, fat butt any day."
"I love Hanson so much better than that dinosaur, if you want to call it that. He doesn't sing nearly as well as Hanson does. Hanson also looks better."
"I really don't like either, but if I had to choose between the two, I would pick Hanson. I think this whole thing is pretty stupid. All the kids that go to this site have outgrown Barney, so it's pretty much a given."
"The story's great! Hanson rules! Barney is some stupid guy that wants money, so he gets in some suit and sings for babies."
"Barney kicks butt compared to Hanson."
"We think Hanson sucks, but they've got Barney beaten by a long shot."
"Jason, your story rules! I showed it to all my friends and we couldn't stop laughing. Even though I like Hanson, the story was great."
"Hey, that was not cool! Sure it was funny, but what are you going to do when you get sued for this? I have learned that if you have a child you can sit them down in front of Barney and they don't move until it's over and they learn manners. I also learned that if you play Hanson most kids will sit down and listen. And leave Richard Simmons alone!"
"Well, good story. Stating nothing but the obvious, Hanson is way better! Barney is a figment of little pondering kids' imaginations, unlike Hanson who is way bomb. They are totally hot guys who sing, write, and perform their own music. Not only that, but they are way better role models."
"Well, I have to say that both of them are freaks. Hanson has bad taste and Barney is an ugly purple dinsaur. So that's my opinion on who's better. If that doesn't help, I think Hanson is a little better, but don't think I mean that."
"They both suck."
"Duhhh. Hanson rules, because it's everything about them--their hair, eyes, lips, looks, personalities, plus more."
"I think Hanson is better. I'm not saying I worship the ground they walk on, but I would really like to get rid of Barney. Did you know he caught on fire?"
"Well, I would definitely have to say that Hanson is better than that sickening dinosaur."
"Even though Hanson isn't my favorite group (BSB is) I would have to say that they are better than Barney. Barney is for babies. My aunt doesn't even like it when my 3 year old cousin watches it. My other cousin used to say Barney's name in his sleep."
"I am in love with the story. Personally, I love Hanson, but I also love to make fun of them. I mean, they're so made for it. Looking like girls, Taylor getting excited all the time, Zac running into Carson's lap any moment he gets. Well, anyway, I hope another story like this comes up."
"I think Hanson is better because Barney is for little kids and Hanson is a rock group that is awesome."
"Hanson, and why? They're cool, Barney sucks."
"Hanson should have won because they got teased throughout the whole thing, and that is very pitiful. The story is great, Jason. I was laughing the whole time! Hanson isn't the best, but they are good. And well, Barney is just Barney. A retard who dresses up because he doesn't know how to impress anyone. Either that or add Aerosmith and Metallica and blow all their butts. Hehehe."
"J, your story was cool and all, but I really like Hanson! Well, I am glad they won!"
[Sounds like this person is a little confused about what happened. Or in denial.]
"I am a Hanson fan, but even if I hated them, Barney should still be disposed of. I had the unfortunate experience of watching an episode of Barney with my three year old cousin, and I am telling you--that dinosaur gives a bad name to Jurassic Park, The Lost World, The Land Before Time (even though that movie was kind of crap)--just about every dino movie made. The thing is a bad weed, seed, annoyance, and just plain irritating!"
"I think that Hanson is better than Barney. When Barney sings, everyone hugs and kisses. What's the point of that? Hanson doesn't hug or kiss each other when they're singing! I think that Barney is just a big fat bulge of purple, and that Hanson has real talent."
"Hanson is so much better than Barney! Ick! Who could ever be worse than Barney? And no one can beat Hanson! Barney is a stupid dinosaur who sings stupid songs with stupid kids. It's for 3 year olds! Hanson makes awesome music and they are gorgeous...of course they are WAY better than Barney."
"Hey, I LOVED your story! I was LOL!"
"Hanson in my mind, but I am too possessive. Barney, in my 2 year old sister's mind. But do not add on. It is too violent. The first four persons (things) who shouldn't have died are ZAC, Barney, Tay, and Ike."
"I think Bill Nye should have won. Hanson sucks, along with Barney. By the way, the person in the Barney suit is a girl."
"My answer is: None of them. Actually, in my opinion, Jason makes the Hansons sound like murderers."
"I think Barney's better, but not by much. DIE, HANSON, DIE!"
"I almost died laughing! Ok, deep breath! Barney sucks so badly it hurts to watch, and even HE (or she, I'm not sure) is better than Hanson! Barney would whoop their buts in a nanosecond!"
"That was the funniest story I have ever heard, but why did Hanson have to die?"
"Zac shouldn't have died. You killed my MAN!!"
"Hanson is way better than Barney, man! Get your priorities straight. Hanson is 'Da Bomb Diggity'!! For one thing they have a sense of humor other than some whacked-up make-believe 'I Love You' singing rotten loser that comes on PBS."
"I think that Hanson is much, much, much, much, much better than Barney. They are prettier than Barney and sing 100% better than Barney. Hanson are the most beautiful guys in the whole universe! Hanson forever!"
"Hanson is way better."
"I think Hanson is way cooler than Barney because at least their songs are good. Barney is just some big, fat dinosaur who runs around singing these gay songs. And Barney is real superficial. He's just some guy who's desperate for money dressed up in a dinosaur suit! At least Hanson is real."
"Jason, we LOVED your story! We were rolling on the floor laughing out loud the whole story. But we personally think that RICHARD SIMMONS could take them all out!"
"Hanson, duh! I love Hanson, but it was still a funny story. Strange...but funny! Of course, it's still not as psycho as some of my stories...(hehehe). And I don't think Zac should have died."
" I loved your thing. My brother and I thought it was hilarious! But I think that Hanson and Barney are on the same level. Maybe they're related or something. First, you have no clue how they got "popular." Then you see them singing these "songs" on public television and some people actually like them. The annoying thing is that those "songs" are strangely catchy, and after hearing it once you remember the tune. It's annoying. I've heard Hanson. A friend of mine forced me to listen to them. And I've seen Barney. I have really little cousins. I have to admit, though, at least when Barney sings his songs you know what they're about. Hanson can really learn from him. They both sing about the same thing and you aren't really sure what way they swing. But after I read your play I was inclined to think that maybe Barney is actually better. I have to admit you put me up against a tough question. Keep on writing, and if all goes well maybe next summer your play will be out on the big screen. I'll be first in line to see it. And thanks for the laugh."
"Barney, cuz Hanson sucks."
"I would have to deem Baloney the lesser of the two evils."
"Jason, answering your question, we like Hanson more than Barney. Barney is a sorry wimp and he couldn't kill Hanson if his life depended on it. Although we had some disagreements with this narrative you wrote, it is kind of funny."
"[Jason's] story is the funniest and it should go into print."
"I think Barney would kick Hanson's ***, but Bill Nye could kill them all. Better yet, get MacGyver in there and he would make a bomb out of Bisquick and blow them all to ****! I don't like Barney, but Hanson just sucks. Plain and simple."
[To Jason] "Hanson is way better than Barney, you wacked-out cheese head!! Oh, hey, about your story, usually I would have sent a person like that a life-time supply of hate mail, but I don't feel like typing anymore."
"Good story. Hanson is better."
"Hanson is better and they should have whooped on Barney's big butt. Kill Barney and not Zac."
"Hanson is way better than Barney. I've gotten sick of 'Mmmbop' though."
"BARNEY!"
"Hanson rox over Barney!!"
"I think Hanson should have won. Hanson rules, Barney doesn't!!! Hanson rules, Barney doesn't!!! Hanson rules, Barney doesn't!!! Now say it three times fast."
"Barney sucks, Hanson rocks."
"I think your story was VERY funny. But I think Hanson would have won."
"Even though I like Hanson better, I think it was pretty funny, but I still like Hanson better. Sorry Barney!"
"Hanson is sooo much better than Barney. Here are 3 (even though there are a lot more than 3) reasons why:
1. Hanson is real people; Barney's some guy dressed up in a dinosaur suit.
2. Hanson plays great music, stuff they wrote, while Barney's number one hit he stole from a person, and just talks about how bi-sexual he is.
3. Hanson is cute, and once again Barney is some guy in a dinosaur suit (not to mention he's purple and green.)"
"Hanson should win. Even though we're really big fans of Hanson, that story was hilarious! We don't think Zac should have died."
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