Setting: The school where Barney lives. All the kids are sitting around bored
Sean: Gee. I wish we had something to do
Michael: Why don't we go home?
Sean: Because we always hang out a after school with no adult supervision
Mary: Besides, I don't even have a home. I live in the dumpster out
front.
Lucy: You get to live in a dumpster! All I get to live in is a cardboard
box. You
must be rich.
Michael: Hey I know! Lets sing some song that we copied off another song.
(Barney appears)
Barney: That sounds like a super dee duper idea!
Kids: Barney!
Barney: I have a suprise for you today! The Hanson girls are coming to
sing for
us!
Lucy: Barney. I think the Hansons are boys.
(Knock on door)
Barney: That must be them.
(Hansons walk in)
Isaac: Hey Barney. What are you still doing here?
Barney: What do you mean?
Director: Barney. I forgot to tell you. You're fired.
Barney: What the He... I mean what are you talking about?
Director: You have ten minutes to get out before we throw you out.
Michael: Don't worry Barney, We won't forget you.
Director: You kids are fired too.
( Kids and Barney leave sadly)
Part 2
Setting: Barney's trailer. Barney and kids are sitting watching hanson and
friends.
Song-(sung to the song of barney) Hanson is our master now. Its time to
mmmbop with them. Lets all listen to their songs. and bow to their every
whim.
(Barney turns off TV)
Lucy: Son of a rotten dog with rabies
Sean: Barney! What are we gonna do?
Barney: I have an idea! Lets call Baby Bop, she still works at the
station as a
Cleaning lady.
Michael: We can tell her to get some weapons from the ninja turtles set.
Lucy: Hey. Where did Mary go?
Barney: Someone took my wallet.
Michael: Barney you don't have any pants. Where would you put a wallet?
Barney: That is none of your business
Sean: Just call Baby Bop.
(Barney gets phone and dials)
Baby bop: Hello
Barney: Baby Bop, We need to...(Barney hears a gun shot on the other end
of
the phone and a sharp scream) Baby Bop? Darn it. She always hangs up on
me.
Michael: Barney. Why don't you go buy some weapons?
Barney: Thats a great idea Michael. Lets go to Crazy Lou's Illegal
weapons and
drugs!
(Barney and kids leave)
Part 3
Setting: Crazy Lou's. Barney and kids walk in
Lou: Well Barney! I haven't seen you for weeks
Barney: I was fired Lou. I'm looking for some hand grenades and rocket
launchers
and some other weapons you might have
Lou: Well you came to the right place. What do you kids need.
Lucy: I want a machete
Sean: A machine gun for me
Michael: Throw in some brass knuckles
(The hanson song starts to play and lou gets down and worships)
Lou: MMMbop Hanson MMMbop Hanson
Barney: Oh No! They got Lou. Get the weapons and lets go.
(Kids grab grab weapons and run)
Part 4
Kids run into studio where many people are worshipping Hanson
People: MMMbop Hanson MMMBop Hanson
Barney: Get your weapons ready kids
(Kids pull out weapons)
Taylor: What are you pesants doing here?
Zack: Have you come to worship us and be our slaves?
Isaac: What gifts have you brought us?
Sean: I have brought you some nice bullets(Shoots his gun)
Zack: Hey. You almost messed up my hair
Taylor: Good God
Isaac: Hanson slaves attack
( Hanson slaves gather around barney and his friends)
(Lucy pulls out her knife)
Lucy: Get out the rocket launchers Barney
Barney: I forgot them.
Michael: Here Barney. I have an extra pair of brass knuckles.(Gives
knuckles to
barney)
Barney: Thanks
(Barney and michael punch some hanson slaves while Sean Blows some away
with his gun and Lucy stabs some)
Sean: Uhoh. Out of bullets
Lucy: Barney I cut my hand off!
Michael: I broke my knuckles
( The hanson slaves overwhelm barney and kids and put kids in a cage and
hold
guns to barneys head)
Isaac: Now you will bow down and worship us.
Barney: Never
Isaac: Then you will die.
(Then Mary walks walks in with some gang members carrying artillary
weapons)
Mary: Hi Barney. I used your wallet to hire these gang members
(Gang members shoot gun at barneys friends. kids fall to ground. Barney
punches people that have gun to his head)
Mary: Those were the wrong kids. Shoot at the boys that look like girls
and their
followers.
(The gang members blow away all the hanson slaves. Zack runs and hides
behind table)
Taylor: Release the secret weapon
(Out of a big box jogs Richard Simmons)
RS: Hey everyone. Its time for sweatin to the Hansons. Lets tighten those
muscles with some slides.
(Hansons start playing music. gang members drop their weapons and start
sliding
from right to left)
RS: 123 slide 123 slide
Mary: Barney! What are we going to do? Teddy's scared.
(Barney takes teddy and rips off head)
Barney: There Teddy isn't scared any more
Mary:(Crying) You killed him (Mary runs away)
(Gang members drop from exaustion)
RS: Well my work here is done. (RS exits)
(Barney goes up and punches taylor)
Barney: Take that
(Isaac swings guitar at barneys head)
Isaac: Die Dinosaur
(Barney grabs guitar and knocks both hansons down)
Barney: That was close(Gunshot Barney falls to ground)
Mary: That was for Teddy
(Zac hanson comes out)
Zack:Wheres the love?
Mary:Its in my gun( Mary shoots zac and he falls to ground)
(Bill Nye runs in)
Bill: One of my science projects is going to explode! Run1
(Building explodes)
(Mr rogers walks to exploded building.)
Mr. Rogers: Thats one more show I don't have to worry about. Now to put a
match
in thomas the tankengine's fuel tank.
Jason would like to get your opinions on who is better, Barney or Hanson, and why. E-mail them here and I'll post them.
To read the opinions I have gotten, go here. Enjoy!