This DOLL'S Life
By John Rzeznik as told to Jennifer Graham
He grew up with an alcoholic dad, then becaem an orphan by the age of 16. Now, for the first time, Goo Goo Doll John Rzeznik shares his painful story.
First off, I would like to apologize for the oversaturation of "Iris" last year. Although it wasn't the Goo Goo Dolls' first hit-"Name" was in 1995-it did bring us a giant slice of fame we never imagined possible.
Recently, my band mates, Robby Takac and Mike Malinin, and I performed at the American Music Awards and found out that we'ew up for three Grammys. That's insane to me. When I think back to the first half of my 33 years here on earth, sometimes I can't believe I've made it here intact.
Now, I don't want to sound like I'm bitching at my upbringing. Now I understand it was brillant in many ways. My sister, (Phyllis,41; Fran, 39; Glad, 36; and Kate, 35) are so close today because of the tumult at home, in our tight-knit working-class neighborhood in Buffalo.
For as long as I can remember, my dad, Joe, divided his time between his clerk job at the post office and local bars like Three Deuces. When he did come home, drunk and depressed, he'd pass out in his chair-or wouldn't even make it that far. Once, when I was about 12, my sister Kate and I had to drag him inside, take off his clothes and put him to bed. Anyone that doesn't realize that alcoholism is an actual illness-not just some character flaw-never met my father.
During my childhood, he had three heart attacks. A man in his fifites, he was overweight, diabetic, and he smoked and drank whiskey. 9To this day, if I smell whiskey on somebody, it sends shivers down my spine.) he just couldn't stop. I hated him for a long time.
But I loved my mom, Edith. She played the flute and got us well on our way reading and writing before thr first grade. She took a job as a teahcer at my Catholic grade school, Corpus Christi, so we could go there tuition free. When I was about seven yeard old, she turned me on to music-first, accordion lessons, then a few years, the electric guitar.
My mom was hard on my dad, and there was a serious violent phase in their marriage. He would come home drunk when we were little kids, and they would start fighting. Once when I was 14, he hit her, and I punched him so hard that he fell to the floor. But my mother turned on me, hitting me for not respecting my father. Like I said: It was insane.
I had more than my share to rebel against, so I became a troublemaker. I'd get back at my dad through vandlism (Once, in my early teens, I smeared blacktop fluid all over a funeral parlor) and by stealing money from his wallet.
When I became a sophomore at Buffalo's Mckinley High School, my already shaky home life completely shattered. At 55, my dad got pneumonia, fell into a diabetic coma, and died. My sisters were upset, but I was too angry to grieve. That emotion set in more than a year later, but by then, it wasn't for him. As my family was struggling to recover from my dad's death, my mom (who was overweight and a smoker) died suddenly of a heart attack, at age 53.