South Park is a quiet little town nestled in Colorado, 
behind some mountain that’s really a volcano, who’s name I 
forget.(Genius me) Anyway, South Park Elementary school 
is where you will find Mr. Garrison’s 3rd grade class.
      In this room you will find Stan, Kyle, Eric (more formally 
known as Cartman) and Kenny, four friends (sort of) who have 
survived alien attacks, zombie invasions, a mad scientist trying 
to clone animals, Kathy Lee Giffer, killer turkeys and more, all 
to come home to Salisbury Steak day at school. 
     Kyle has one younger brother, Ike, who he kicks around a 
lot. Stan has am older sister who beats him up all the time, a 
grandpa who wishes he were dead, a gay dog named Sparky, an 
uncle who likes to kill things, and a girl friend named Wendy 
who he often throws up on. Cartman is an only child, but has a 
mom who feeds him cheesy poofs and snacky cakes all day. Last 
but not least, Kenny has an older brother, an alcoholic father, 
and is poor, meaning he has no money. (I wonder if I really 
thought people didn't know what poor ment?)
      The four friend’s favorite show is Terrance and Phillip. 
Their favorite snack is cheesy poofs (kinda like cheese doodles) 
and their favorite sayings, well, I can not say for fear a young 
child might see this story. So I will be using blanks instead.
(I origionally wrote this is my Englsih class daily writing 
notebook. For this I put inthe real words.) Now that that is 
all cleared up I can begin the story (I am the one telling it.)
(Gee, really?)

Chapter 1

To School and Back

      Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny stood at the bus stop, 
waiting for the school bus. Not that any of them wanted to go to 
school, no no. They would much rather be at Cartman’s house 
watching Terrance and Philip and eating cheesy poofs. Just then 
Chef pulled up in his green station wagon.  
   “Hello children.” He said.
   “Hey Chef.” They all answered back. Well, all except Kenny, 
who’s English is just a mumbled voice. 
   “Did you all hear about the new kid coming to school?” 
   “There’s a new kid coming to school?” Kyle asked.
   “That’s right, and I hear she’s gonna be in your class. 
   “Sweet.” Cartman said, knowing it was a tradition to pester 
the new kid until they ran away, literally. 
   “Well, I gotta go, see you at school children.” Chef said. He 
then drove away. 
   Just then, they all saw a girl walking to the bus stop. No 
body knew who she was. She looked pretty normal, and almost like 
a Wendy with curly red hair. “Hey look you guys, it’s a hippie 
girl wanna-be.”
   “Shut up Cartman.” Stan said as the girl walked over. 
   “Hey,” Said the girl, “You all going to South Park Elementary?”
   “Are you a hippie?” Cartman asked her.
   “Huh?”
   “God damnit answer the question! Are you a hippie?”
   “No.”
   “Yes.”
   “Yes what?”
   “Yes we go to South Park Elementary.”
   “What if I had said yes?”
   “I would of said no.” Cartman explained. “We don’t like 
hippies. That’s why we’re trying to get Stan’s hippie girlfriend 
out of school.”
   “God damnit Cartman she is not a hippie!” Stan said.
   Just then the bus pulled up.
   “Come on boys, we’re running late.” The bus driver (Guess 
I forgot her name too.) said to them, just like every other 
day they went to school. They all walked to the back of the bus.
   “Does she always have a bird in her hair?” The girl asked.
   “Yeah.” Stan said.
   “Hey, what’s you name?” Kyle asked the girl.
   “Ugh, God, I knew I was forgetting something.” She said. “I’m 
Windy. Windy Pathlburnner, Not Path burner, got it?” The others 
all nodded yes.
   “Hey, she looks like Wendy and her name sounds like Wendy’s.” 
Kyle said.
   “Uh oh,” Cartman said.” That means you are a hippie.” 
   “No, I’m not.” Windy said, defending herself.
   “Yes you are.”
   “No, I’m not.”
   “Yes you are.”
   “Are not.” 
   “Are to.”
   “Are not.”
   “Are to.”
   “Not.”
   “To.”
   “Not.”
   “To."
   “Shut the Hell up back there!” The bus driver screamed at 
them. They both quieted down.
   Finally, the bus reached the school. All the students got off 
and went to their classrooms. Windy walked into Mr. Garrison’s 
and found a seat in the back. 

   “Class, class, we have a new student today.” Mr. Garrison 
said upon entering the room. “Her name in Windy Path-Burner.”
   “That’s Pathlburnner, Mr. Gay-son.” Windy said to him. Tha 
class laughed.
   “I’m surprised you never thought of that one Cartman.” Stan 
said. Cartman just made a face at him. 

      The rest of the day was pretty normal, except for Windy 
cracking all the jokes, leaving Cartman with nothing to do all 
day. (Gee, that was exsiting, wasn't it?)

      Finally, the last bell of the day rang. 
      “Hey Windy, you wanna come over Cartman’s house with us?” 
Kyle asked when they left school. 
      “Sure.” Windy said, “Anything is better then going home to 
unpack boxes full of crap.”
      “No way you guys, I don’t want a hippie over my house.” 
      “I ain’t a hippie. Got it, fat boy?”
      “I’m not fat, I’m big-boned.”
      “Yeah, and I’m O. J. Simpson.”

Later, at Cartman’s house

     “Do you kid’s want some more cheesy poofs?” Cartman’s mom 
asked.
    “Yeah we want cheesy poofs!” Cartman yelled back at her. She 
then walked into the room with 5 bas of cheesy poofs.
    “No thank.” Windy said when Cartman’s mom got to her.
    “Hey Windy, how come you don’t want any?” Stan asked her.
    “Well, just look at these things.” She said, grabbing the 
bag from Cartman. “Serving size, one bag. Calories, 360. Fat, 30 
grams. No wonder fatboy here is so huge. You’d have to run 2 
days to burn all this off. Thanks, but no thanks.”
    “Oh, great, health freak.” Cartman said. “If you don’t like 
my food you can leave.” He then stood up. Windy also stood up. 
She was slightly taller then him. 
    “Make me.” Windy said to Cartman. They stares at each other 
for a while.
    “You can stay.” Cart man said, sitting down. “It’s not worth 
it to argue with a dumb girl.”
    “I always get my way.” Windy said.
    “We’ll see about that.” Cartman said to himself.

Go on to Part 2a.
Part 2b coming soon.