M aid Marian and
Her Merry Men
Songs
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Index of songs:
Theme Song   Mud   Colin's Release   Wedding Today
Rotten Rose   Pierced   Naked to the Visible Eye
I Wish They'd Put Their Heads Outside   Lazy   The Story of Workflop

Maid Marian and Her Merry Men

This is the theme song sung over the end-titles of each episode (except for Little Brown Noses)
    Marian!

    Why don't you carry on
    With what you're doing
    'Cause there's always
    Trouble brewing
    You've got to find a way
    To make a better day!
    Oh, Marian!

    Why don't you carry on
    With your Merry Men
    And make heroes
    Out of each of them
    You've got to find a place
    To make a better space!
    Whoa, Marian!

Mud

(from How the Band Got Together)

sung by Barrington

    Mud, mud
    All over the street
    It sticks to your feet
    It's mud, mud
    You get it in your hair
    You get it everywhere
    That mud, brown mud

    There's a mad bad King and he's called King John
    And he sits on a big bad throne
    And he takes all the people's money
    And he won't leave the people alone
    He taxes their farms he taxes their homes
    He taxes their flesh and blood
    He lives for the pleasure of counting his treasure
    But all the people've gotta eat...

    Is mud, mud
    They eat mud pies
    That are covered in flies
    Just mud, sweet mud
    They make mud spread
    And they spread it on their bread
    That's mud, just mud
    They drink then they cry
    "Here's mud in your eye!"
    That's mud, mud

    The Sheriff nicks Rabies' raffle tickets

    This man is the Sheriff of Nottingham
    And he works for the bad King John
    He's a liar he's a spier he's a nicker and a tricker
    And he knows what's going on

    SHERIFF: I know what's going on!

    But even though they're poor and sore
    The people have a dream:
    One day someone will come along
    Who'll turn their mud to cream
    Someone who'll fight for the people's rights
    And set all the people free
    Who'll whip the Sheriff and bad King John -
    But who could this someone be?

    MARIAN: I think he means me!

    Yes who will this someone be?

    MARIAN: With my ruthless band of freedom fighters!

    Yes who will this someone be?

    MARIAN: And here's how the band got together...

Colin's Release

(from Little Brown Noses)

sung by the Merry Men

MERRY MEN: Colin, we're calling out your name
Without your happy clucking, our lives won't be the same!
Colin, it's up to folk like me
If we all give lots of money, then Colin will go free!

ROBIN: Each and every one of you
There's something you can give
So call in with your credit cards
So that our chick can live!

MERRY MEN: Colin, you know we really care
That's why we keep on singing, 'cause life is so unfair!

Poverty can be a downer
But it doesn't have to be
Just dress up in some stupid clothes
And have a laugh for charity!

Ad-lib to end

Wedding Today

(from Rabies in Love)

sung by the Choir (with Nettle and Barrington)

NETTLE: Bring flowers from the garden
Bring rose and poppy and bay
Bring daffodils and melodies
There's gonna be a wedding today...

Then spread the joyous news abroad
Dress each in fine array
Let the choir sing a merry carolling:
There's gonna be a wedding today!

CHOIR: (We're gonna) get on down
(We're gonna) jump around
(We're gonna) sing our blues away
Let the choir sing
Let the church bells ring
There's gonna be such a wedding today!

We're talking wedding cake
We're talking wedding presents
Like the avacado-
Coloured set of soup plates
From your Auntie Dawn
In Swanage not to mention
All those nylon sheets
That set your teeth on edge
And you forget they're nylon
And your toenails scratch them
Gonna be such a wedding today...
Oh yeah-eah!

The wedding ceremony begins and then dissolves into a battle

CHOIR: Gonna be such a wedding
Gonna call off the wedding
Gonna wipe out the wedding
Gonna send home the bridesmaids
Gonna cancel the catering
And the choir won't
Receive a single penny
Though we've not stopped singing
For at least an hour
Which is such a rip-off
It's impossible
To earn a decent living
Singing proper music
Gonna have to sell out
Gonna go commercial...
Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie

NETTLE: For the Indian meal-of-a-lifetime
Try the Taj Mahal
Try the Taj in Nottingham high street

BARRINGTON: If there's a hole in your roof
And it's not waterproof
(Whatcha gonna do?)
Call Margaret the Thatcher.

MARGARET: Yeah! Come to me for a professional job...at rock bottom prices.

CHOIR: Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie
Doobie doobie doobie
Not gonna be such a wedding today...
Oh no!

Rotten Rose

(from Rotten Rose part two)

sung by Barrington

Well you know the kind of person in your class at school
Who would copy your homework and would break ev'ry rule
And would never get told off for getting detention
While you get into trouble 'cause she happened to mention
That you hadn't done the essay that was meant to be
Given in last Thursday on geography

That's Rotten Rose (ooh-ooh...Rotten Rose...ah-ah)

Now Rose is filled with love and affection
For Robin Hood, and she's got a collection
Of all the little things that he likes to wear,
Like a flight from his arrow and a lock of his hair;
She's his number one groupie but as you will see later
She's a number one liar and a number one traitor

Rotten Rose (ooh-ooh...Rotten Rose...ah-ah)

'Cause Rose and the Sheriff are thinking in alignment
They've got Maid Marian in solit'ry confinement
When the famous RH gets down to do the rescue mission
He finds himself through in the very same prison
And while Guy's got a crush and our heroine's the victim
RH believes that it was Marian who tricked him

But it wasn't... (no no)
It was Rose (ooh-ooh...Rotten Rose...ah-ah...Rotten Rose)
She's bad...

Pierced

(from Keeping Mum)

sung by the Sheriff (with the village people)

SHERIFF: From the moment I saw you I swore you would make me foolhardy
How I wanted to loosen you hair and to take off your cardy
There's never been a moment like this (moment like this!)
...Of absolute bliss (absolute bliss!)
I've been pierced, I've been pierced, I've been pierced, I've been pierced
I've been pierced through the heart by your eyes

VILLAGERS: He's been pierced, he's been pierced, he's been pierced, he's been pierced
SHERIFF: I've been pierced through the heart by your eyes!
You shot the Sheriff and the Sheriff doesn't care
If he lives, if he lives or he dies...

VILLAGERS: He's been pierced, he's been pierced, he's been pierced, he's been pierced
SHERIFF: I've been pierced through the heart by your eyes!
VILLAGERS: He's sighing and crying to stop him from dying
SHERIFF: Please give me the ultimate prize...
I've got to look into your eyes!

Naked to the Visible Eye

(from They Came From Outer Space)

sung by the village people (with Snooker, Barrington and Hayley)

VILLAGERS: Help us! Won't you help us please?
We're begging you on bended knees
We try and we try and we try and we try...
SNOOKER: But they're naked to the visible eye
VILLAGERS: Naked to the visible eye
Naked to the visible eye
BARRINGTON: They try and they try and they try and they try
SNOOKER: But they're naked to the visible eye
BARRINGTON: Ooh, the Sheriff
Is one of nature's biggest bullies
VILLAGERS:Came to Worksop
BARRINGTON:And ripped off all their winter woolies
VILLAGERS: Naked to the visible eye
Naked to the visible eye
We try and we try and we try and we try
SNOOKER: But they're naked to the visible eye
BARRINGTON:Ooh, tell your sisters
VILLAGERS:And your uncles and your aunties
BARRINGTON:Ooh, that the Sheriff
VILLAGERS:Came to town and picnched our panties
BARRINGTON:Pinched their pants, he pinched their pants
MEN: We are praying we are yearning
Want our vests and pants returning
Wanna see coming down the track
Our shirts and trousers coming back
WOMEN: Undies, undies,
Give us back our undies
Undies, undies,
Give us back our undies
HAYLEY: I want my anorak
You've got to give it back
I want my anorak
You've got to give it back
BARRINGTON: Naked to the visible eye
Naked to the visible eye
Naked to the visible eye
Naked to the visible eye
HAYLEY: It's got a detachable hood
And it makes me feel so good...
ALL:Woah, yeah...

I Wish They'd Put Their Heads Outside

(from Robin and the Beansprout)

sung by Barrington (with Little Ron and Marian)

BARRINGTON: It's a crime the guys who govern us are roasting like an oven
That is hot
LITTLE RON: Baby baby...
BARRINGTON: They turn up the central heating while the peasants they're mistreating
SHERIFF: We do not!
LITTLE RON: Baby baby...
BARRINGTON: I wish they'd put their heads outside
And get covered in a snow-drift ten feet wide
And then they'd cough and sneeze and pretty soon they'd start to freeze
To the spot

BARRINGTON: It's the guys out there that's ruling us they're cheating us and fooling us
SHERIFF: We're not, honestly!
LITTLE RON: Baby baby...
BARRINGTON: They not only take our taxes but the shirts from off our backs
It's got to stop
SHERIFF: It's not a shirt, it's a blazer, actually...
BARRINGTON: I wish they'd put their heads outside
And get covered in a dung heap ten foot wide
Then they's rub their eyes and blink and pretty soon they'd start to stink
Really hot...

Time for the titles...yeah, that's right!

MARIAN and
LITTLE RON:
La-la la-la la-la la-la-la...
BARRINGTON: Maid Marian and her Rankin' Men, y'know!
MARIAN and
LITTLE RON:
La-la la-la la-la la-la-la...
LITTLE RON: By Tony Robinson, whoever he is...
BARRINGTON: I wish they'd put their heads outside
I said I wish they'd put their heads outside
And get covered by the mother of all land slides!
LITTLE RON: Robin, and the tiny-weeny little Beansprout.

Lazy

(from Voyage to the Bottom of the Forest)

sung by the Merry Men (without Rabies)

MARIAN: Well you're lazy (lazy yes you are)
You drive me crazy (laziest by far)
Every time I look at you your eyes start to close
You sleep for days on end and then go back for a doze
BARRINGTON: You even fall asleep when you're blowing your nose, 'cause you're so lazy.

ROBIN: Well what about you? You're so cool
BARRINGTON: Yeah, well, maybe, y'know.
MARIAN:You're such a fool
BARRINGTON: No man, I'm just hip that's all.
MARIAN: You never get excited, you never really care
ROBIN: The only thing you worry 'bout's the length of your hair
LITTLE RON: You're so cool we could use your trousers as a frigid-air
MARIAN: You're so cool.

MARIAN: And Robin you're a coward
I wish one day you'd do something brave
ROBIN: Who, me? [RON hits him] Don't do that!
MARIAN: And Ron you are so violent, you're gonna give us all an early grave
If you don't behave

ROBIN: Well you're so bossy
MARIAN:Me?
BARRINGTON:Completely bossy, yes you are
MARIAN: Look, just pack this in right now okay?
ROBIN: You make us wash our cups and plates and spoons every day
BARRINGTON: And fold our clothes and brush our shoes and put them away
LITTLE RON: And tidy up the living room...
ROBIN: ...and clean the kitchen...
BARRINGTON: ...use the broom
ALL THREE: To brush the doorstep, feed the cat
And clean its whasits off our -

[The song is interupted by RABIES]

The Story of Workflop

(from Voyage to the Bottom of the Forest)

sung by the Notty-Man (with Grey-Grey and Gre-Gre)

NOTTY-MAN:
Long time ago old Engy-land
Was ruled by two princesses;
Who both had pretty faces,
Pretty feet and pretty dresses.
One was known as Rose the Good
We gave her love and thanks;
The other's name was Guya she
Was thick as two short planks.

GREY-GREY
and GRE-GRE:

Hi-de-diddle-diddle-do, hi-de-diddle-diddle-de,
We gave her love and thanks;
The other's name was Guya she
Was thick as two short planks.

NOTTY-MAN:
The people of old Engy-land
Loved Guya and her sister.
All day they played Subutio,
Monopoly and Twister.
But little did they realise
A-hidden in a ditch
There was an awful Ogre and
A very wicked witch.

GREY-GREY
and GRE-GRE:

Hi-de-diddle-diddle-do, hi-de-diddle-diddle-de,
A-hidden in a ditch
There was an awful Ogre and
A very wicked witch.

NOTTY-MAN:
The witch drew out her mighty wand
And in a flash of flames
The innocent princesses
Were wrapped around with chains!
The Ogre laughed and told the folk
They'd never more be free;
Then made them dig his garden,
While he ate up all their tea!

So now the folk of Workflop
Have become the witch's slaves:
They wash her vests and pants while she
Goes out on all-night raves!
But one dark night I sneaked into
Her hut to take a look,
And came upon these magic words
A-written in a book:

"Beware, oh wicked witch, for one day a great leader will appear as if from nowhere, and he and his cohorts will bear down upon you like avenging angels, and you won't like it very much. And the name of this man will be.....
RABIES."

GREY-GREY
and GRE-GRE:

Hi-de-diddle-diddle-do, hi-de-diddle-diddle-de,
He went to take a look,
And came upon these magic words
A-written in a book.

ALL:
Hi-de-diddle-diddle-do, hi-de-diddle-diddle-de,
And now it's time to fight!
You'll kick the wicked witch right out
Of Workflop by tonight!

Wide Separator

This page last updated: Tuesday, 4 February 1997 - 15:04:47.

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