Amy Jennings and Maggie Evans rushed through the massive doors of Collinwood, laughing at the blustery wind that had sent Amy's red tam flying ahead of them like a frisbee. Maggie rescued the knit cap before putting her back into closing the doors, then she plopped the tam on top of Amy's head with a giggle, while the younger girl's hands were too occupied with carrying a long box to retaliate. They removed their coats and entered the drawing room, where they were greeted warmly by the occupants, as they eagerly made their way to the radiant heat of the fireplace. After pouring tea for the girls, Elizabeth Stoddard resumed admiring the small, three-week old baby in Barnabas Collins' arms.

"There are not many fathers who would be so devoted to caring for an infant," said Elizabeth with kindly amusement at the apparent comfort he exhibited with the baby. Her formal, reserved cousin sat before her, handling the baby with such confidence and affection that she found it all quite charming. "I'm certainly surprised that you've turned out to be this -- domestic, Barnabas."

"At my age, Elizabeth, I am so humbled to have finally become a father, that I don't want to miss any precious time with my son." Barnabas lifted the infant onto his chest when the baby began to cry in a very small voice. "I find delight in his simplest change of expression, and even in his polite demands. I am grateful that his mother allows me this luxury." He glanced with obvious adoration at Julia who sat beside him, and they exchanged smiles that told of two people whose lives had been renewed in each other's love.

"Changing diapers -- a luxury?" Carolyn's laugh was full of puzzlement. "You're an astonishing man, Barnabas."

"Yes, he is," Julia agreed pleasantly, but with deeper meaning than she conveyed. She looked at her two 'men' and was amazed all over again that either of them had come to her, one with so much unexpected love it overwhelmed her, and the other because of it. The baby was still much too young to tell if his little button nose would follow the strong aristocratic profile of his father's, but his downy hair was dark like Barnabas', and Julia knew that his genetic dominance for coloring would probably mean little Ben's eyes would change from their present dark blue to dark brown as well.

Her pleasure at the sight of her baby cradled against her husband's chest turned from contentment to sensual admiration. Beneath the veil of her eyelashes, she admired the line of his broad shoulders under his jacket. Julia knew that she shouldn't allow herself to dwell on her desire for Barnabas, especially so soon after Ben's birth, it had been a difficult ordeal, and she was still experiencing weakness and occasional discomfort. She also knew that she should probably be going through a normal period of depression and perhaps even an aversion to being touched by the man whose insatiable attention caused her 8 months of nausea, fainting, and pain like she had never known before, not to mention the weeks of bed confinement at the end, however she was entirely too euphoric over the blessing of the beautiful baby he had given her to be depressed -- and whether it was normal or not -- she desired him as much as ever, and found it increasingly more difficult to observe the 6 weeks of abstinence imposed by her physical state.

Not that he was trying very hard to avoid her either. Julia flushed slightly with pleasure at the memory of the attentions he had shown to her this morning. As a physician, she would advise any new mother to avoid sexual stimulation during the period of healing, but taking her own advice was almost impossible when she couldn't help feeling the emotions he stirred in her with the touch of his hand, or the sight of his large, well-built body, or even the sound of his resonant voice. She became lost in the closeness of him, sinking in the depths of love and desire that shone through his dark eyes. The waiting period before they could re-consummate their need for each other was dragging endlessly, and the thought of her bare flesh being held tightly against his, of holding him within, brought a spasm to her womb and a sudden wincing gasp that made him turn to her with a look of worry.

"Julia!"

"It's nothing," she blushed and tried to reassure him with an embarrassed smile.

He searched her face, thinking with concern that women in his day were confined much longer, even when birth was uneventful, and he said softly, "Perhaps it is still too soon for you to be out of bed, Julia."

She shook her head, now laughing at herself for giving in to the baser thoughts that got her into this condition in the first place. "Really, I'm all right."

Her laughter reassured him, and Barnabas relaxed into a smile, then he started and said with an amused crack in his rich baritone, "Speaking of change, I believe Ben is in need of one." He put a gentle staying hand on Julia's shoulder and rose with the infant still clutched to his chest. "Pardon us."

Julia couldn't tear her eyes away from his elegantly tailored back until he disappeared down the hall with the baby. The love she felt for him could o longer be measured or compared. He was so strong, strong of mind with an intelligence that matched her own, strong willed without a doubt, so strong physically he sometimes made her gasp, yet so gentle he never hurt her, so loving he often surprised her with affectionate moments, a touch, a kiss, sometimes a teasing look that never failed to make her smile, so endearing that he often cared for the baby's needs without a thought to how he looked, an elegant man showing his nurturing side without the least bit of self-consciousness.

Before Barnabas, she remembered believing that she was a strong, independent woman who was proud to be able to stand alone without a man, like a statue of granite, clinically knowing of human emotions, but never really experiencing the fullness of her knowledge. But since Barnabas, she knew that she had been empty without HIM, had been lonely without HIM, had been strong only to survive an existence without the one man who could turn her solitude into a life so full that she never would have believed possible.

How could she have survived before without the kind of love she felt for him. It was critical to her wholeness -- to the nourishment of her very soul, being able to give and receive the love they shared. For years before their marriage, she knew that she would die for him if necessary, but since their marriage, she knew that he would die for her as well, her trust in him was so complete.

"Marriage and fatherhood definitely become him, Julia," said Liz, "and I've never known a man who took so to a baby. The change in him has been nothing short of miraculous. I used to think of Barnabas as a sad figure, but since your marriage, I haven't seen a trace of that in his eyes. You've changed his life, Julia."

"As he has mine." Julia's smile lit up her face with soft beauty. "Five years ago, my definition of happiness was based on my career achievements. If someone had told me that all of my priorities would be so radically changed, that my career goals would take a back seat to my personal life, that I would have a baby at my age, I'd probably have held them at Wyndcliffe for observation."

The endearing sound of Amy's giggling captured the attention of the two older women. Amy was on the floor, kneeling over the coffee table, excitedly showing Carolyn the treasure she had just bought at a Collinsport junk store with Maggie. Amy had become a collector of board games, and she was becoming expert at talking her older friends into taking her on 'treasure hunts' at the local junk stores and yard sales to scout for new accquisitions. They watched the girl's thrill at retelling the story of her discovery. "I must have passed over it ten times and not seen it, but just when I was about to think there weren't any old games, there it was on top of a table, like it appeared out of thin air!"

"OLD!" protested Carolyn, closely looking at the cardboard game pieces. "Why I had one of these Dream Man games when I was your age, only I don't remember my men being this realistic, mine were more like drawings." She turned and looked at her mother over her shoulder. "Remember, mother? I used to bully you and poor Mrs. Johnson constantly to play it with me."

"I remember. You were so infatuated with one of them that you carried it around with you."

Carolyn laughed at the memory. "He was my daring Pilot."

"Pirate??! squealed Amy.

"Pi-lot -- with an L" Carolyn fixed the girl with a tongue in cheek warning. "He was a fighter pilot, incredibly brave, and very handsome. Is he is this game too?"

Amy removed the Dream Men from the box, and Carolyn quickly found the version of her 'old flame'. 'Here he is." Carolyn put her hand over her heart and teasingly sighed, "He is even more incredible than I remember."

Amy made a little sound of disappointment as she looked through all of the game pieces, "They're not all here. She checked the little box that the 'men' had been stored in and looked under the false bottom on which the playing board graphic was printed. "There are supposed to be six of them, and there are only five! One is missing."

"What a shame," sympathized Julia. "But you can still play the game without it, can't you?"

"Yes," grumbled Amy, "but --

"It cuts down the field of eligible bachelors," laughed Carolyn, clutching her obvious choice. "Come on everyone, let's do play a game, There are five of us and five Dream Men."

"Oh Carolyn! When you outgrew yours, I thought I'd never have to play again."

"It'll be fun mother! What do you say, Julia?" Carolyn said in a playfully mysterious voice. "Do you dare discover the true identity of the man in your most secret dreams?"

"Do you think it would be appropriate for a married woman?" laughed Julia, as Barnabas walked up behind her carrying the peacefully sleeping baby.

"It's just a game," Amy's eyes twinkled with mischief at Barnabas, as she picked up a game piece. "Look, here's a doctor! He'd be perfect for you." Amy held up the handsome, tanned, Nordic blond Dream Man, and Julia shook her head and sighed. "Oh pleeese," Amy held the playing piece out to her friend. "Just one game."

"I used to know a doctor who looked like this," said Julia. "He spent almost as much time on the ski slopes and at the beach as he did at the hospital."

"Did you ever dream about him?" asked Amy, but not quite innocently enough that the tease in her eyes missed detection, and the other women in the room turned to look at Julia with interest.

"No, ACTUALLY, I didn't." said Julia with her eyebrows arched and an equally teasing note in her voice.

"Well, then he's a safe date, Julia," urged Carolyn.

"Pleese," begged Amy.

Julia sighed and shook her head in surrender, giving in to the darling girl's large round eyes, and when she reached out to take the Dream Man doctor from Amy, and her fingers closed around the cardboard piece, a little arc of blue light passed between their hands, Julia gasped with a sharp, shrill intake of breath -- and disappeared.

Amy fell backward, her eyes wide with frightened disbelief, her mouth opened to scream, yet silent. The other women screamed as they realized what had happened, but their fear was no match for the wretched terror in the masculine voice that shrieked out the name of his beloved, "JULIA!" And then within the space of several wildly beating heartbeats, there was a small, piteous whimper, and the tiny warm infant that was held tightly to Barnabas' chest disappeared from his arms as well. Barnabas fell to his knees, an agonizing pain gripped his heart as a harsh rasping breath tore through his lungs, and he sobbed her name over and over again.

to be continued.

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