Vision Of Love

by
Pat Ray

 
   
Chapter 8

Barnabas watched Julia until she disappeared around a corner, and his hand began throbbing. His first thought was to follow her around all night if necessary, but his second thought was to take one of the pain pills she had given him and put an end to the stinging ache in his hand. He found a drinking fountain in a familiar place and took two of the pain pills before deciding to be a mere presence at the hospital, attracting no attention to himself while keeping a vigil over his attending physician.

He saw there was still no nurse at the central station, and no one else in sight for that matter, so after giving up finding Julia immediately, he slowly made his way down a side hallway to where the glass enclosed atrium would be in 1972. In the future it would become a warm, pleasant, sunny place with comfortable upholstered furniture and cozy sheepskin rugs to encourage a relaxed sense of home and informality in the patients, but as he looked ahead through the glass wall, Barnabas could see that no such effort had been made here. The atrium was furnished with hard metal and plastic 'modern' furniture, and the cold tile floor was bare of any kind of area rug.

As he approached the atrium, Barnabas took a deep breath when he heard the muffled sound of Julia's voice grow louder. For a moment he thought -- no, it was the Julia of this time speakiing in anger, and he saw that she was standing near the windows with Dr. Thorson.

"I never told you that I'd go away alone with you, Marcus!"

"I've already made the arrangements for us." he said, as if he were not accustomed to discussing his plans.

"You should have asked me first!"

"Come now, Hoffman," he tried to put a cozy arm around her neck, but she backed away. "I can make your residency VERY easy."

"I have no intention of sleeping with you in exchange for special treatment, and it was an enormous error for you to think I would."

"Come now, I thought we were friends," he cajoled and slipped his arm around her waist.

"I thought so too, but apparently I was mistaken." Julia squirmed and tried unsuccessfully to push him away, but he wouldn't release her, leering into her face.

Barnabas' jealousy peaked, and he suddenly became a man protecting what was his. "Take your hands off of her!" he growled, grabbing Thorson by the shoulders, unmindful that the doctor was younger and probably stronger. But the intensity of the threat stopped Thorson, who showed surprise, and then said to Julia, "Is this your father?"

"No -- but he IS a gentleman," Julia said with ice hanging from each syllable.

Marcus Thorson's face became a mirror of his compassionless ego. "Very well, Dr. Hoffman, you've made your own choice." As he was leaving the room, he turned and said, "But if you're going to play the frigid bitch, I suggest you start looking the part, otherwise someone else might get the wrong idea from your 'charming' unprofessional appearance."

Julia's back was turned to Barnabas, but he could tell by her posture that she was trying to stay in control of her emotions and would not want anyone to see her struggle -- but then he was not just anyone.

"I beg your pardon, doctor," he said gently. "I hope that you don't consider my actions to be -- presumtuous."

"Of course not." She kept her back to him, and he saw she was wiping a tear. "Excuse me." She started to leave, but he stopped her by gently saying, "I hope that I don't make you uncomfortable. I promise you that I most assuredly am not a 'dirty old man."

She glanced around at him, a look of apology replacing the blank one she had perfected by the time they actually met. "Oh, I didn't think -- I'm very sorry you heard that. It was an awful thing for Rob to say."

"Perhaps I should explain, if I was staring at you before, it was because you look so much like my wife. I -- I recently lost her."

"I'm very sorry."

"Your resemblance to her is quite uncanny. She also had red hair and green eyes shaped like yours. You could be her -- at a younger age of course."

Julia blushed slightly, but otherwise gave no indication that she was embarrassed by his comparison.

"She is a strong woman -- in many ways she is my strength." Barnabas continued, confessing his secrets to 'his' Julia. "My only regret is that it took us so long to find each other. It was a lonely life for us both until we did, but worth it for the outcome. I would never trade the time we had together for more years spent with anyone else. She is the stabilizing force in my life, and the blinding passion, and I adore her. I believe that we are soulmates"

"How do you feel about being alone again?" she asked from the investigative viewpoint of a doctor specializing in the workings of the human mind. "I notice you still speak of her in the present tense. Are you willing to move on with your life?"

Barnabas' eyes looked down at her and twinkled with kind amusement. "I believe that I am. At least -- I am no longer immobile with grief," he said, remembering some catch words he had found in one of Julia's medical magazines. "I am focused on positive actions, and making decisions for the future."

She considered his words and nodded thoughtfully. "It's important to have goals and keep them in perspective."

Barnabas felt a sudden twinge of jealousy and asked. "May I ask doctor, if you are seeing anyone -- romantically?"

"I beg your pardon?" she stiffened slightly.

"Forgive me for being intrusive, but you are a bit of an anomaly, an attractive young woman working with young men who show personal interest in you, yet at the same time you have dedicated yourself to a profession that demands a great deal of your time and personal life. I was wondering how you -- coped (another catch word) -- with the conflict."

Julia felt suddenly comfortable enough to confide to this stranger with the elegant baritone voice and kind eyes who had saved her from Thorson's crude advances. "Actually, I'm not too sure that I'm coping too well at the moment. I am dedicated to my medical career, it's something I've wanted since I was a child. I can't remember anything else being as important to me. I've never let anything get in the way of my career goal before."

"Before? Then it's becoming more difficult?" He gently tried drawing her out.

"I've never felt so -- harassed -- even during medical school. I do nothing to encourage the unwanted attention, yet --" She took a slow breath and her face became an emotionless blank once again.

'She's been practicing that', thought Barnabas with interest. "Perhaps their attention could be diverted somewhat, if you didn't look -- so young."

She glanced up to him with curiosity, and a wry smile turned up one corner of her mouth. "You mean by dressing the part? I don't believe that clothes make the doctor. Respect has to be earned through accomplishment."

"Ummm. But is it not human nature to reserve respect for age, while discrediting youth, even when the youth in question is highly competent?"

"I can't change my age." Julia slightly pouted with annoyance.

"No -- no of course not. But perhaps a more -- mature apparance would help somewhat." He tried to keep his eyes from raking her figure beneath the clinging knit dress that the casually open white lab coat failed to hide. "Wearing something bulky might make a difference, something -- that your grandmother might wear."

Julia laughed. "Well, they ARE asking for it. Maybe I should take your advice. It would be worth it just to see their expressions."

Barnabas felt slightly dizzy and pinched the space between his eyes. "Are you all right? Julia reached for his arm and guided him to one of the stiff chairs.

"I feel a bit odd, as though my head were swimming."

"You might be having a reaction to the pain pill."

Barnabas cast a guilty look up into her compassionate eyes and confessed, "I took two."

"Oh no. Well, the best thing for you to do now is get some rest. You'll have to sleep off the effects." She ran her hand over the metal chair back and frowned. "This chair isn't comfortable, I'll have a room prepared for you."

"NO!" his eyes snapped open, suddenly aware of the reason for his presence in this time, with this young woman who held his whole future in her hands. "I'll be fine, if I can just sit here for a few minutes, I'm sure this is temporary."

"Very well, you're free to stay here as long as you like." Her throaty voice was soothing to his nerves. "I'll be at rounds for a while -- that is, I'll be checking on patients. If you change your mind about a room, I'll have one of the nurses prepare one for you."

"Thank you doctor, I think I'd just like to sit here for a while, until this passes, and enjoy the view of the winter scenery."

Julia cast a look around the atrium as she was leaving, and said absently, "Pity this room is so harsh and bare, it looks almost as cold as the landscape outside."

Barnabas shut his eyes against the wobbling room and felt like he was falling through the hard seat of the chair. For a while he tried to steady his mind, and then his thoughts turned to Julia -- his Julia.

He slowly opened his eyes, the room had stabilized, and he settled on the scene outside the glass walls. The view of the woods from the darkened atrium, with romantic moonlight shining over the snow whitened grounds, had become a favorite of Barnabas', especially since one particular long winter night before they were married, when he was visiting her, and they had made love to each other there on the floor -- and almost got caught by a nurse. Barnabas smiled fondly to himself, positive that was the night when Ben was conceived.

Julia had been warm and affectionate, making him laugh, making him feel so alive, while they had been sitting together talklng, just appreciating the scenery outside. It felt natural when his arm had gone around her shoulders, and she rested her head against his chest, and he had pressed his cheek into her sweet smelling hair. There had been no premeditation in what he had done, it was the most amazing series of innocent touches on her hand, that became small gentle caresses on her arm, that lead to his running his thumb under her chin to tilt her face up to him for a kiss that made him forget where they were. Moonlight lit her face, and her look was so full of love, so vulnerable, that he kissed her lips fondly at first, and she returned them with tenderness.

It became so clear to him then, as if he had opened his eyes to her for the first time and saw what he had been needing all along. The affection he felt suddenly turned into a deep longing for her. There was no other way to describe the change that came over him, it was not a subtle change, but an electric jolt that lifted a shroud from his eyes. He knew then that they had each found their missing part in one another, and their souls needed to touch, to share the feelings that could only be complete when they were united in love.

She was almost shy when he touched her through the satin blouse -- surprised by his intimacy -- but her flesh was so warm and immediately responsive, that he slowly freed the buttons as he kissed her, sliding his fingers against the swell of her exposed flesh, across the swollen peaks of her breasts, and she began kissing his neck, his ears, brushing her lips against him, tasting his tongue, the sound of her sharp breathing encouraging him, arousing him. And he WAS aroused to an aching need. He had never imagined that Julia could be so sensual, surprising him, teasing him with her touch, stirring him to the hardness of desire with unrestrained passion.

He remembered his own hands shaking as they slowly undressed each other, her touch sent shock waves through his whole body, his touch brought soft moans of pleasure from her. Through the veil of her thick lashes, her eyes were lustrous and full of the promise of sensual fulfillment. Control fell away from him, and he felt like a young man again, no longer caring that they were in a public room at midnight, no longer aware of anything beyond the two of them, only aware that he wanted her.

He drank in the feminine curves of her body in the moonlight, the delicate coloring of her fair tipped breasts, her slender waist that had been hidden from his notice under layers of clothing for so long, the smoothness of her stomach, the curve of her thigh. He picked her up without warning, and she was so light in his arms as he carried her to the flokati rug on the floor, where surrounded by the soft white fur, the full length of her graceful body overwhelmed any control he might have had left.

He felt a moment of pride when she first viewed the sight of him at full mast. Her eyes had widened and she softly gasped, but he had reassured her with words of love that were full of what was in his heart. Yet words were inadequate to express the love he felt, so intense was it that he wanted to stay in her arms, exploring all of the erotic possibilities that stirred him, to unite as one, pouring all that he was or ever could be into her and greedily absoring all of the passion that she returned to him.

He stroked and teased the velvet softness of her inner thigh, until she moaned and whispered his name. And when he slowly entered her, gently exploring, his hands easing her hips to him, she felt his hardness and power and arched up to him and cried out. Their bodies fit tightly, as if they had been made for each other. Urged on by her ardent response and the gripping waves of pleasure that drove him deeply into her, he lost all control, and moaning her name, became her lover, captor, and slave in a centuries-old bond of love that their souls remembered in secrets kept from conscious knowledge.

He could have stayed there on the fur rug, making love to her throughout the night, his desire was so strong for her, joined with her, enveloped in her incredible softness and warmth, surrounded by the sensuous bed of fur, shutting out the rest of the world forever -- until a nurse stopped at the door, and waited as if she had heard the sound of their love making. They had both held their breath, and he had turned his body to shield Julia from sight, but the nurse didn't turn on the light, she seemed satisfied there was nothing there, shrugged and continued walking down the hallway.

Barnabas opened his eyes, and as the private image of Julia faded, he realized that he had fallen asleep, and someone had covered him with his Inverness.

to be continued.

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