by Terry S. Bowers

Nor were his cousins of 1870 so willing to accept his claim that Julia was his sister. They made a point of establishing separate sleeping rooms, at opposite ends of the Old House, but with a lack of servants to verify their claims, the Collins cousins allowed their suspicions to mount and attributed all sorts of unsavory and immoral activities to the 'cousins' from England. Barnabas was just as glad, for it allowed Julia and himself to do what must be done without the need to invent explanations or side-step uncomfortable questions.

And what needed to be done was discover why yet another ghost was haunting Collinwood. They learned the events leading to the death causing the unhappy spirit to haunt the adult male members of the Collins household, now they were working to change those events; to prevent the untimely death. And they were close to achieving success. Barnabas could see when and how the intervention was needed. He and Julia had a plan.

This trip into the past had been easier than most, for Barnabas was free of his vampire curse. He could function in the day light, and with Julia's help, the plan was coming to fruition more quickly than had he been restricted to working only at night.

Hearing hurried footsteps approach, Barnabas glanced across to where Julia was concealed. She nodded she was ready, and Barnabas inclined his head once. Their plan was simple. Prevent the assignation that would result in a servant girl's suicide. She would not hang herself in the bedroom of the Collins man she loved but who did not love her in return, and her ghost would never walk the halls.

The girl hurried past the spot along the path where Barnabas and Julia were waiting. She seemed in a great hurry. Julia drew the hood of her cloak over her hair, then stepped onto the path, following behind the girl. Barnabas waited a minute, then followed Julia.

Two hours later, their plan had been achieved. Not quite the way they had hoped, but it was successful nevertheless. The girl - Elaine - had become frightened when she heard someone on the path behind her. Fearing she was being followed, she began to run. She slipped in some mud, twisted her ankle, and fell, landing hard on a tree trunk that had fallen across the path during the previous night's storm.

When Julia came across her less than a minute later, Elaine was in severe pain and crying with fear. Knowing Barnabas would be along momentarily, Julia knelt and did what she could for the girl, assuring her she would be all right. When Barnabas did arrive, Julia had already determined Elaine sustained some internal injuries when she fell against the tree. The Old House was closer than Collinwood, so Barnabas carried Elaine there and left her in Julia's capable hands while he returned to Collinwood to let them know of the accident and that Elaine needed a doctor. His cousins were reluctant to call the doctor for a servant girl, but finally sent a messenger when Barnabas assured them he would pay the man's fee.

Returning to the Old House to wait for the doctor, knowing it was only for appearances; that Julia could do far more for Elaine than the local physician, Barnabas remained in the drawing room. He turned at the sound of someone on the stairs, and met Julia's gaze when she joined him.

"She was pregnant, Barnabas."

"Was?"

"Yes, her injuries caused her to lose the child."

"Now we know the reason for her suicide."

"Yes. No doubt the father refused to help her in any way."

"Will she be all right?"

"Yes. Is the doctor on his way?"

Collins nodded and glanced down at his hands. He would tell Julia about his cousins' callous attitude later.

"I'll go back up and sit with her until he arrives, then."

Again Barnabas nodded, watching while Julia ascended the stairs. Half an hour later he showed the doctor to the room where Elaine was resting, then retreated to the drawing room once more. Julia would fill him in on anything he needed to know.

Once things had calmed down and the doctor had left, Barnabas studied Julia across the width of the Old House drawing room. She looked tired.

"How long will Elaine's recovery be?"

"Only a few days. She's worried about losing her job, especially if the family learns the full extent of her troubles. I doubt she'll allow herself to get the rest she needs. But I did promise Doctor Sorenson that we'd keep her here until Thursday. At least she'll get two full days of rest."

"Then we must return to our own time, Julia. I grow... very weary of this travelling."

"As do I, Barnabas. Would you care for some dinner?"

Collins shook his head.

"No, thank you. I don't seem to be hungry tonight."

"If you change your mind, I'll leave the soup simmering on the back of the stove. I'm just going to take a tray up to Elaine. She'll be awake soon."

"You should get some rest yourself, Julia. You look quite exhausted."

"I will, after Elaine is settled for the night."

She gave Barnabas a tired smile, stood, and headed toward the kitchen. Barnabas watched her go, then stepped closer to the fire, stretching his hands out to warm them. He'd suddenly taken on a chill.

Just before midnight the next evening, Barnabas entered the room where Elaine was convalescing. He stood at the foot of her bed, reaching out a trembling hand to steady himself against the bed post. He wasn't feeling well, but didn't know why he'd come to this room instead of seeking Julia's help.

As he stood there, studying Elaine, watching her closely, Barnabas felt a chill rush over his entire body. He shuddered with it and turned to leave, but could not. He could not move from the spot, could not take his eyes from the woman sleeping in the bed. But he forced himself to turn away and move toward the door. He did not want to disturb or frighten the young woman, and he needed to find Julia.

Barnabas left Elaine sleeping and crossed the hall to the room Julia was using. He lifted a trembling hand and knocked as firmly as he could. It took a moment or two before he heard movement inside, then the door was opened by Julia, dressed for bed.

"Yes? Barnabas!"

"Julia, I am not feeling well..."

She nodded her agreement, then stepped into the hallway, her arms going about his waist.

"You need to be in bed."

Feeling worse by the moment, he could only nod, and lean on Julia as she steered him toward his room. She got him into bed and covered him up, reaching to feel his forehead for fever.

"Barnabas, you're so cold!"

She reached for his hands, alarmed to find they were as cold or colder than his forehead. Quickly Julia felt for a pulse, then lowered her head to his chest to listen to his heart. The beat was weak and irregular.

"Julia, I... feel... the need... for blood."

She met his terrified gaze when she straightened, squeezing his cold hand tightly.

"Barnabas, I need to get you back to our own time. I need my lab and my notes..."

"Julia..."

"I think you're reverting Barnabas."

"No..."

Even as he shook his head to deny it, Barnabas knew it was true. He could feel the need for blood strengthening, could feel the changes in his body that indicated what Julia suspected was accurate.

"How... long?"

"I don't know. The sooner we can get you started on the serum, the better."

"No... time."

A painful scream escaped Barnabas as Julia watched, unable to do anything. Collins released a deep gasp, shuddered, and lay still. Julia could see the changes overtake him. Still holding his hand, she felt his heart stop beating, and saw the pallor of death replace his once healthy skin tones. His lips, partially drawn back in pain, revealed the lengthening of his fangs, the tips touching his tongue, and pressing against his bottom lip. And she could do nothing to stop it.

"Barnabas..."

Slowly Julia stood, taking a look about Barnabas' bedroom. She didn't have the strength to carry him to the cellar where he would be safe from daylight, and didn't know how long it would be until he rose. She would have to do the best she could and protect him from the day light where he was.

Julia lit the bedside lamp and turned the flame up, then moved into the small chamber that served as Barnabas' dressing room. From the closet there, she pulled out all the blankets, sheets and towels she could find, and systematically set about sealing the bedroom windows against daylight. Dawn was not far away when she finished, pulling the heavy drapes tightly shut and overlapping the fabric, securing it together so no light could intrude. Then she turned and looked once again at Barnabas. To be even more certain he was safe against light, Julia folded a heavy, dark colored bed cover in half and wrapped it around Barnabas' body. He was as secure as she could make him, and Julia knew she would have that day to make other arrangements for him.

Sighing heavily, Julia sat in a chair near the fireplace and forced herself to relax into sleep. She needed to be well rested for the ordeal they both faced. At least Elaine could go back to Collinwood later that morning. It helped to simplify things a great deal.

Uncertain of what condition Barnabas would be in when he woke, Julia waited on the far side of the room, crucifix clutched in her hand as the sun set that first night. She didn't know what to expect, or long it would take for Barnabas to be completely changed but felt she needed to be there when it happened. Perhaps, somehow, she might be able to gain valuable information that could assist in his treatment once they returned to the 1970's.

Startled by movement across the room, Julia realized the sun must be completely set when the cloth she'd used to wrap around Barnabas whispered with his movement beneath it. Julia fixed her gaze on the shadow on the bed, and held her crucifix more tightly.

"Noooooo!"

A harsh, agonized cry came from under the cloth, then Barnabas sat up, ripping the material away as his gaze darted about the room that had been sealed against daylight. He heard breathing across the room, and his intense gaze focused on the source, compelling her to step forward.

"Barnabas."

Her voice was a whisper, but Julia willingly met Barnabas' gaze. She did not try to resist him, and stepped forward to pause near the foot of his bed. Barnabas stood and moved to stand near Julia. It took him a moment to fully grasp what had happened, and what his instincts were telling him to do. Then he stepped back.

"No, Julia, not you. Leave me."

His voice was harsh, commanding, but she simply stayed where she was.

"Barnabas, let me help you."

"No. You do not understand!"

"I do, Barnabas."

"How can you voluntarily allow me to use and degrade you so?"

"There will be no degradation, Barnabas. You are not forcing me into this situation. I am here because I want to be; because you need me."

Collins met her gaze, then stepped back towards her, shaking his head.

"You will regret this, Julia."

"How can I ever regret helping a friend?"

Barnabas stared into her eyes, searching for the doubt and fear he was certain would be there, but he did not find either. He hated this first taking of blood. The urge and need were so strong, his control so precarious.

"Julia..."

"It's all right, Barnabas."

Julia made the decision for him when she closed the distance between them and stepped into Barnabas' embrace. There was still no fear or hatred, no doubt as to what she was offering and Barnabas closed his eyes in resignation, not wanting to see Julia's eyes, her face, her expression. He opened his mouth and lowered his fangs toward Julia's neck.

The surge of blood from Julia into him was like nothing he had experienced before. Barnabas felt none of the desperation, anger, panic, hatred or fear he usually associated with this event. Instead he felt something else, something he'd never before felt as a vampire. It became stronger, almost overpowering his need for blood. Quickly he pulled away, lowering Julia to the bed so she would not faint. Then he stepped away from her again, shaking his head at his own need and reaction. Trembling, Barnabas slowly sank to his knees on the carpet of his room.

"No."

Julia, feeling slightly light-headed, but alarmed by Barnabas' behavior, watched him closely. Slowly she stood, crossed to where Barnabas had knelt. He was doubled over and shaking his head. She lowered herself to the floor beside him, reaching out to gently touch his shoulder.

"Barnabas..."

He snarled and tried to push Julia away, but she remained beside him, hands on his shoulders.

"Barnabas, look at me."

"No..."

"Tell me what's wrong. I need to know if I'm to help you."

"Julia, I need..."

"More blood?"

"Yes, but... more."

"Barnabas, look at me."

She forced him to straighten up, and pried his hands away from his face. There was a small trickle of blood - her blood - at the corner of his mouth. But his eyes were what worried her. They were bright with a need she'd not seen in him before, especially when he was a vampire.

"Barnabas."

"Julia, I still require blood, but I also need... It has never happened before. I do not understand. It cannot be."

"Barnabas, you're not making sense. Look at me. Talk to me. You need more blood. What else do you need?"

Barnabas shook his head, still not able to tell Julia. She raised her hands to his face and held his head between them, forcing him to meet her eyes. He was the vampire but she was in control. Perhaps it was better that way. Then he could not force...

"Barnabas, you know I will do anything I can to help you. Tell me."

"Julia, I... I need blood, but I also need... The urge... is even stronger. I feel I will die if I do not..."

"What urge, Barnabas?"

"To... mate. I feel I must copulate or go insane, perhaps die. It has never been like this before. I must go!"

"No, you need not go elsewhere seeking what you need, Barnabas. I can't let you do that."

Julia held Barnabas fast, aware that if he really wanted to leave, he could overpower her in an instant.

"Julia..."

"Barnabas, you don't really expect me to let you leave here, knowing you will be compelled not only to attack some woman, but rape her as well?"

"No, Julia! I cannot. I may seriously harm, perhaps even kill..."

"You won't, Barnabas."

"Not you, Julia. I could never - will not - harm you so, force myself..."

"You won't, Barnabas. There will be no force involved, just as there was none when I gave you my blood."

"You would... No. I could weaken you to the point of death. I have already taken your blood this night."

"And you have always had my love."

Collins stared at Julia, knowing she spoke the truth. She had been in love with him for a very long time.

"Not like this. I will not take advantage of or exploit your feelings for me."

"And I will not let you victimize some innocent woman when there is no need. Barnabas, I don't expect this to change your feelings for me, I know I am not the woman you love, but..."

Slowly, his hand trembling, Barnabas reached up to touch Julia's cheek, to meet her gaze. Carefully he shook his head.

"Do not ever say that, Julia, do not believe it. I do love you. I can no longer doubt or deny it. Tonight has given me all the proof I require, for I would rather seek out a stranger, take what I need from her and risk exposure than chance harming you in any way. I cannot..."

Julia reached up to place a finger over his mouth, silencing him.

"Barnabas, earlier, was your taking of my blood as... traumatic, as repulsive as it was in the past with others, with strangers?"

"No, I felt... only acceptance, and love from you. There was no fear, no hatred, no terror or panic, no resistance,... none of the emotions I usually feel from my victims."

"Because I am not a victim. I am your friend, your partner. I know you will not hurt me. We will do this together."

Collins closed his eyes and released a painful whimper, then nodded. Julia had never done anything to hurt him before. He had to trust her now.

"Yes..."

Carefully Julia leaned forward and placed a kiss on Barnabas' mouth, then took his hands and stood, drawing him to his feet. She stepped toward his bed. He hesitated only a moment, then surrendered himself to Julia's guidance, hoping her trust and belief in him were not misguided or misplaced. She met his fiery gaze and smiled with re-assurance, hoping Barnabas understood she was not afraid of him or of what could happen. She only wanted to help him because she loved him.

"Barnabas, as far as you can tell, is there any reason we can't do this as human lovers would?"

He shook his head, unable to manage words. Being this close to Julia was agony, and he was uncertain how much longer he would be able to maintain any kind of control, be it the blood lust or the more base, carnal lust.

Not totally convinced this was right, but unable to stop what was about to happen, Barnabas allowed Julia to lead and guide him. She was gentle, encouraging him to take his time, to explore her body and discover what she liked, just as she did with him. Despite his urgent need to mate, Julia moved them toward that moment slowly, determined they each get as much enjoyment and pleasure from each other as possible. When Barnbas felt he could no longer hold back, Julia was ready for him. Carefully, gently, Barnabas allowed his fangs to find the spot on Julia's neck, to take the blood she so freely offered him just as their bodies became one in an intimate dance.

The need for blood satisfied, Barnabas released his hold on Julia's neck and rose up to meet her gaze. Their bodies were still very intimately joined. Slowly Julia opened her eyes and licked her dry lips, smiling when Barnabas reached up to stroke her cheek.

"That was... indescribable."

Barnabas glanced away, suddenly not wanting to see Julia's eyes. He began to pull away from her, but Julia shook her head and wrapped her arms about him.

"No, don't leave me Barnabas."

"How can you..."

"Barnabas, don't you know that... what has happened to you doesn't matter to me. It never has, it never will. I love you - Barnabas Collins - the man."

"I am hardly a man now, Julia."

Her eyes grew wide with disbelief.

"Oh? Only a man could make me experience what we've just shared."

He smiled with gratitude and kissed her deeply. Only Julia could look beyond what he was, what that condition forced him to do, and love him for who he was.

"You are an amazing, unique woman, Julia."

She smiled and kissed him, meeting his gaze when the kiss ended. Barnabas gently ran his fingers across her cheek and chin, studying her carefully.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No.

Barnabas nodded his understanding. He'd known Julia had experience in the carnal pleasures by the way she reacted to and guided him, but her past loves were something they'd never discussed, while she knew all about his past loves and affairs. Perhaps more than she wanted to know. It didn't matter now. He smiled and kissed her.

"And the blood?"

"I'm all right, so long as I don't try to get up any time soon."

"How can I thank you for turning what could have been a completely repulsive act of survival into one of the most incredible nights of my existence?"

"You needn't thank me, Barnabas."

"I know. I want to."

"Just...let me help you. Promise you'll come to me if this should ever happen again."

"I promise."

"Barnabas, I don't want you to think I did this because..."

"Julia, shhhh. I know your reasons for this. Not only our bodies were joined, but our hearts. I have never known a love such as that which you have for me. I love you with all that I am, Julia."

She studied him carefully, knowing it was true.

"Yes,... you do."

She kissed him, and Barnabas gasped when he felt himself becoming aroused again. But there was no desperate need to mate, no driving desire for blood. All he wanted was to make love with Julia. He met her gaze and she smiled, nodding in answer to his unasked question. She was ready for him again.

Their second joining of the night was equally fulfilling, even more passionate than the first. Barnabas rolled onto his side, gathering Julia into his arms. He held her close and kissed the side of her head softly. His entire existence had changed in the course of the past few hours, and not because he was once again restricted by the limitations of vampirism, but because of the woman he held close. He would not berate himself for not having seen what was clearly before him sooner, but rather Barnabas reveled in what he had, in the knowledge he would always have it.

"Barnabas, are you all right?"

He glanced at Julia and met her gaze, smiling tenderly as he caressed her shoulder.

"Should not I be asking that of you?"

"Perhaps. I'm fine. But I am worried about you."

"Taking into account my aberrant behavior earlier, yes, I believe I am all right. The cravings seem to have been satisfied."

Julia chuckled softly, nodding against his shoulder, where she rested her head.

"I hope so... Barnabas, tomorrow night I want to run what tests I can, see if I can determine what happened, why, and perhaps stabilize you enough so we can get home. I'm nearly certain I can re-create the serum, using ingredients currently available. Then I can more easily treat you."

"That sounds most wise, Julia. I must ask -- did you think to check the cellar for a spare coffin?"

Coming from anyone else, that question would have sounded quite morbidly sarcastic, but for Barnabas it was merely a matter of practical survival.

"Yes, I did, but couldn't find one. Perhaps I didn't look in the right places."

"Dawn is several hours away, but I'd best go look, in case I have to make other arrangements. Perhaps you should stay here and rest, Julia. It has been a stressful night for you."

Barnabas kissed her, released his hold of her, then sat up. He stood slowly, uncertain of his balance, then crossed the room to begin dressing.

Julia sat as well, believing she was strong enough to accompany Barnabas, but dizziness washed over her and her head began to swim. She quickly changed her mind and eased back down to the pillows, pulling the bed linens around her when she began to shiver.

When he finished dressing, Barnabas returned to the bed, concerned by Julia's trembling. He placed another blanket over her, and reached out to touch her cheek. She smiled at him.

"I'm just chilly, Barnabas, from the loss of blood."

"Let me get you something warm to drink."

Collins stood and left the room. A few minutes later he was back and handed Julia a warm drink. She sipped it gratefully and watched as Barnabas lit a fire and soon had a warm blaze going. He returned to Julia's side and took the hand she held out to him.

"Better?"

"Yes, thank you. Barnabas, why can't I sense you in my mind? Before, when... I could always... feel their presence, hear them..."

"That kind of connection is used to control, manipulate, and in some cases to abuse and intimidate the victim. I felt no need for any of that, Julia, for as you said, you are not a victim."

"I see... Barnabas, can you still touch my mind, or does the control have to be extended during the taking of blood?"

"I don't know. Julia, do you want this?"

"Yes. It might help me to understand what happened if I could know what you're feeling and experiencing the moment it takes place."

"I will try if you like."

She nodded and willingly opened her mind to Barnabas. Their gazes met and locked, his concentration as steady as he could make it. Finally he glanced down and shook his head.

"I cannot make contact with your mind, Julia. It must happen when I take blood, and I will not do so again this night."

"It's all right, Barnabas."

He watched Julia carefully, realizing she seemed slightly disappointed, but he would not risk her further. She was already weak.

"Rest, Julia. I will be back no less than an hour before dawn."

She finished the last of her drink, then let Barnabas help her get settled under the blankets. Julia gave him a smile and closed her eyes, quickly asleep. Collins watched her closely for several moments, until he was certain she slept, then he went in search of the coffin he knew to be in one of the back rooms of the Old House cellar.

To be Continued

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