by Terry S. Bowers

"And I thought it was incredible without the mental link."

"Julia, I have never even imagined... There was never such..."

Barnabas shook his head, unable to find words to adequately describe the experience they'd just shared.

"Perhaps because, normally, you do not have such a willing partner?"

The twinkle in Julia's eyes made Barnabas chuckle and nod his agreement.

"Quite true. I believe, had you been there for me when this first happened, the very first night I rose to the curse she placed on me,... my existence would have been very, very different."

He kissed Julia on the forehead, then they settled down to take comfort from one another. Later they would make love again, without the need for blood, but still with the mental link intact.

Unwilling to risk the return journey to their own time until Barnabas' condition was more stable, Julia was able to pinpoint a pattern to the fluctuations in Barnabas' condition after the first four weeks. She adjusted her treatment accordingly and noted a balance was beginning to assert itself. Within a week the balance was stable enough to prompt Julia to suggest they make the attempt to return to their own time. Barnabas agreed, for while he was anxious to be cured of his vampirism again, he also wanted to more fully explore his new relationship with Julia. That could only be done in their own time, when they were not posing as siblings.

Checking Barnabas' condition as best she could with the limited and antiquated equipment available to her, Julia nodded her satisfaction.

"You're continuing to improve, Barnabas. From what I can tell, the destructive cell seems to be... slowed. It's still in your system, but no longer dominant, almost inactive, but not quite."

"What does that mean, Julia?"

"I'm not totally certain, Barnabas. Theoretically it should mean that your need for blood should be greatly diminished. I still don't understand how your sexual needs are connected to your blood needs, so I can't even theorize about that."

Barnabas reached out to take Julia's hand, meeting her gaze, his eyes hopeful.

"Could it mean I am closer to fully human than I have been before? I never had sexual impulses while I was a vampire in my past.

" "It could. Once we get back, and I have my notes and equipment to work with, I hope to gain a better understanding of your overall condition."

"When should we go back, Julia?"

"Let's give it another few days, Barnabas. I don't want to even attempt the return until I'm absolutely certain your condition is stable."

"Very well. Julia, are you certain I'm not over taxing you when we join, when I take your blood? You seem so pale, not your usual self."

"I am a little tired, Barnabas, and dizzy sometimes, but that's from the loss of blood. I'll be fine as soon as you're fully human again."

Collins nodded, wanting to believe her but was a bit cautious about doing so. Julia should know her own system, her own condition, but sometimes she ignored her own health to concentrate on his. He hoped this was not such a time. Then he stood and pulled Julia into his embrace, kissing the top of her head tenderly.

"Now that you are so very much a part of my life, I do not want to lose you, Julia."

She slipped her arms about him and held him closely.

"Nor I you."

Their mental link flared and Julia was warmed by the intense love Barnabas felt for her. It had been there for a very long time, but his realization of it was comforting and exhilarating.

With their link engaged, each could tell what the other was feeling, and Barnabas eased back, his eyes wide with amused delight. Julia grinned and shrugged.

"I can't help it, Barnabas. I can be clinically detached only so long."

"I have no complaints."

He kissed her deeply, arms going about her more tightly. Their passion grew until it could not be held in check. Barnabas lifted Julia in his arms and carried her up the stairs to his room.

Julia lay curled on the bed in Barnabas' room, waiting for him to join her. The sun would be down in only a few minutes, then they would do the tests she'd been running nightly for the past week. Julia had been able to re-create the serum she'd developed in 1967, when she first met and began treating Barnabas. So far it was working. Each night Barnabas seemed closer and closer to being human. As his vampire needs grew less, Julia could feel their mental link weakening, except when they made love. And they were doing that more frequently now that the need for blood was almost completely gone. As his need for blood decreased, his urge to mate increased, so that now the urge to copulate was stronger, more powerful, more consuming than Barnabas' need for blood. Julia hoped she would - eventually - be able to find a correlation.

Earlier in the day, Julia had run some tests on herself. Her blood volume was a little low, but she'd expected that. She was Barnabas' sole blood source, and even though his needs had lessened, her body was still replacing the blood he'd taken when his blood needs were more dominant.

"Julia."

The light touch on her shoulder caused Julia to open her eyes. She realized she'd dozed off, and Barnabas was sitting beside her now, a tender smile on his face. Julia returned it.

"Barnabas."

She sat slowly, glad the dizziness was gone, as was the nausea. Julia attributed her lack of vigor to the fact she was Barnabas' only source of blood - and sex - and she was exhausted.

"You look well rested this evening."

"I took it easy today, Barnabas. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

He took Julia's hand, she stood, and together they walked down to the make-shift lab she'd set up in a room of the Old House cellar. There Julia did her tests. She turned wide, hopeful eyes on Barnabas when she had the analysis finished.

"Julia?"

"I can find almost no trace of that destructive cell, Barnabas. I'll give you an injection of the serum now, and another about two hours before dawn. Then,... you may not need to miss the sunrise, Barnabas."

"Julia!"

He grabbed her and spun her around in hopeful joy, then placed her on her feet again. It took Julia a moment to regain her balance, and she leaned on the work table until she was sure she would not fall over. She began to prepare the injection as Barnabas rolled up his sleeve.

Barnabas watched Julia's movements, long familiar with the routine. He did not ask when she would be certain of his changed status. Julia would tell him as soon as she knew.

When Julia finished, and had the work area cleaned up, Barnabas stepped close to her, catching one hand in his, the other hand gently touching her cheek.

"Do you think it too early to celebrate?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"I seem to be craving food for a change. Perhaps... a late meal in the village then a leisurely walk home, to be back here in time for the next injection."

Julia smiled, aware of the romantic streak Barnabas had little chance to indulge of late. She hoped that would change very soon.

"It sounds lovely, Barnabas. But do remember - to the rest of the world - we are siblings, not lovers."

Collins nodded solemnly and drew Julia to him for a long kiss. He felt no desire for blood, but the desire he did feel he knew he could indulge later. The carnal desire he now felt was not so all consuming, as it had been even a week ago. It was a human desire, and one he could control.

Releasing Julia, Barnabas met her gaze, took her hand, and together they started up the cellar stairs.

As their dinner progressed, Barnabas grew more and more concerned about Julia. She was quieter than usual, and seemed uncomfortable. She ate very little and only sipped her wine. He left a generous tip so as not to insult the staff, and escorted Julia back to the Old House along a more direct route than he'd originally intended. As he improved, Julia too should improve, for he was taking less and less blood from her, but it seemed to him she was instead getting worse.

Returning to the Old House, Barnabas did not pause to light the candles in the drawing room. Instead he assisted Julia straight up to her room and insisted that she lie down.

"I will wake you in a few hours, Julia, well before dawn. But until then, you should rest. And when we get back, I want you to promise me you will see a doctor. You are not well."

Julia swallowed hard and nodded her agreement. She was relieved to be lying down, and didn't have the strength to argue. She was beginning to doubt she would be fine.

"I promise. Barnabas... stay?"

He smiled tenderly, then lay down beside her on the bed, gathering her into his embrace. He held her close, listening to the rhythm of her breathing and the beat of her heart. Finally, satisfied she was all right for now, Barnabas allowed himself to relax enough so he too could doze.

"I hear your heartbeat."

Collins' eyes came open and he looked at Julia, whose head rested against his chest, her ear over his heart. It was three hours until dawn.

"You're sure?"

Julia raised her head and met his gaze.

"I'm sure. But I don't want to take risks, Barnabas."

He nodded his agreement. They rose and Barnabas accompanied Julia back to the cellar where she did what was needed. He felt the serum course through his system, and waited patiently while Julia timed it so she took a blood sample to examine forty five minutes before sunrise. She straightened from the microscope and bit her bottom lip.

"It looks very encouraging, Barnabas. I think... we should test your tolerance to sunlight."

"The garden."

"No, closer to the house - just in case."

Collins agreed and they settled on the east window of her upstairs room. If something went wrong, Julia knew she could get Barnabas back to his room, still secured against light, more quickly than she could get him to the cellar. She didn't really think there would be a problem, but best to be prepared.

Nervously, Barnabas stood before the window, drapes open, waiting for the first rays of a new day. He'd been through this countless times before, always hoping it would be the last time; that he would never again revert, and always the vampire curse had proved stronger, more tenacious than the cure. But this time Barnabas didn't care quite so much. This time he knew, with everything he was, that Julia would always be there for him, would always love him, would always be the stable constant in his life. Knowing that he could face anything.

Reaching out for Julia's hand, Barnabas pulled her into his embrace. She held tightly to him and squeezed his hand gently. They looked out the window, seeing the first rays of dawn on the horizon. A few moments later the sun was high enough to send daylight through the second floor window and touch the two people standing there.

Barnabas took a deep breath seconds before the sunlight touched his skin. He felt warmth and light, but no pain, no discomfort, no desire to seek the darkness. He breathed a deep sigh and turned to Julia, who released a happy sob as she buried her head on Barnabas' shoulder.

"Let's go home, Julia, to our own time."

"Yes."

Julia became quickly aware something was wrong. She could no longer feel Barnabas next to her, feel his warm hand holding hers. They'd begun the return journey together but somehow they'd been separated. She didn't know how or when, only that they were no longer together.

"Barnabas. Barnabas!"

Awareness of her surroundings began to fade. Julia knew she was not where she was supposed to be. She was not with Barnabas and she was not back in her own time. She didn't know where or when she was, only that she was not in danger and she was not afraid.

Julia tried peering into the darkness around her, but could see nothing.

"Barnabas!"

He did not reply to her urgent cry, and slowly Julia came to understand that he would not. Barnabas was not dead, but he was separated from her. Something Julia could not quite identify began to lull her into a calm acceptance; into an almost hypnotic reverie that comforted her, that assured her she would not be harmed and almost - almost - promised her she would see Barnabas again.

Collins became aware of his surroundings with the startling apprehension that let him know something was not right. He opened his eyes and looked immediately to his left, feeling Julia's absence before actually seeing that she was not with him.

"Julia?!"

He looked around, frantic to find her, wondering what had gone wrong, how they had become separated when he'd held so tightly to her hand.

"No,... Julia!"

Barnabas closed his eyes, concentrating on his memory of their return to present time. He was certain Julia had been with him the entire time, but... she was not there and he could not sense that she was anywhere nearby. It was not his lack of connection to her because he was no longer a vampire, but a certain dread she was not there - not in the house, not on the grounds, perhaps... not even in this time. She had been separated from him, perhaps permanently, and he might never know why.

"Julia..."

His voice reflected a deep pain he'd never before felt. The combined pain of losing all those he'd once loved was nothing when compared to the devastation, sorrow and complete emptiness he now felt at having Julia taken from him just as he'd truly found her.

* * * * *

Eliot Stokes watched Barnabas carefully as they shared a brandy together in the drawing room of the Old House. He knew something was deeply troubling this enigmatic man, but Collins had yet to share it with him. Stokes decided to touch lightly on the subject and let Barnabas reveal what he wished.

"We realized you and Julia were successful in your attempt to quiet the ghost several weeks ago when the incidents ceased. But we were quite puzzled, and concerned, when you did not immediately return. Were there complications?"

Barnabas shook his head, staring into the barely touched drink he held.

"No. We had a bit of difficulty with some unexpected developments in a completely unrelated area. We felt it wise to stay in 1870 until those difficulties were resolved."

"And were they?"

"Yes."

"Will Julia be joining us later?"

Collins closed his eyes against the tears and swallowed down the anger he felt. Stokes was merely concerned and could have no idea what his questions were doing to Barnabas. Taking a deep breath, Collins looked up to meet Stokes' curious gaze.

"No. She returned to Wyndecliffe almost immediately upon our return. She may be there quite some time, Eliot."

Barnabas stood and crossed to stand by the fireplace, the brandy quivering in its glass as his hand trembled with emotions he would not release. Slowly Stokes began to understand - or thought he did. His scenario included a falling out of some kind between Collins and Hoffman - one that had put a deep strain on their friendship. He was not to know how far from the truth his theory was.

Less than half an hour later, Stokes thanked Barnabas for the brandy and excused himself. Collins saw the man out, and as he closed the front door behind the professor, Barnabas listened to the empty house. He'd become able to tell when Julia was in the house, just by the feel of the air, the sensations - vibrations - he experienced. Now that air was telling him Julia was nowhere nearby. And the sensations were beginning to fade, as if to obliterate any trace of Julia that had been left behind in the house. Barnabas suppressed a shuddering sob and moved back to the drawing room.

Why hadn't he told Stokes the truth? That he and Julia were separated on the return journey and he had no precise, clear recollection of it. Perhaps the professor could have helped.

Barnabas shook his head. He knew why he'd not told Stokes. Because he feared to voice it out loud, feared that saying it, sharing it with someone else would make it a reality, would make Julia's absence factually real. He could not face that. Nor could he face sharing the events that had brought Julia and himself into such intimate closeness.

Silently Barnabas eased back into his chair, closed his eyes and allowed his grief at being separated from Julia to surface.

* * * * *

The hypnotic reverie Julia experienced continued. She was aware enough to know she was protected, well cared for, sheltered from harm, but she was not really aware of her own existence, or the passage of time. It was if she floated on a cushion, isolated from all outside influence, lulled into contentment.

Then gradually, slowly, Julia began to become more aware of outside factors. She had a vague sense of pain. Temporary, sharp, non-life threatening, repetitious. Then sounds were added to her awareness. Distant, barely audible. Cries. Of a wounded animal perhaps. Or a lost child. Julia knew she should be concerned, but was not. The sounds were not related to her in any way. And she was still in no danger. She would not be harmed. Her purpose there was almost complete.

* * * * *

Barnabas didn't hear the front door quietly open and close. He didn't hear the footsteps in the foyer or the sharp intake of breath, but he did hear his name called so softly it could have been the whispering of the wind rather than a human voice.

"Barnabas..."

His eyes shot open and he looked up. He was instantly on his feet and hurrying across the room to encircle Julia in a tight embrace. She released a sob and wrapped her arms about him, holding tightly, afraid to let go.

"Julia..."

They stood in the middle of the room, wrapped in each others arms, until each was certain the other was real; certain they were together; certain it was not a dream that would fade with the next breath.

Silently, Barnabas eased them both over to the couch. They sat and Julia finally raised her eyes to meet his. He smiled tenderly as he reached up to touch the face he'd not allowed to fade from his memory.

"Are you all right?"

Julia studied Barnabas' gaze, his face. She felt his hands wrap tightly around her hands, and slowly shook her head.

"I... don't know. I'm not injured, but... How long, Barnabas?"

"Ten months, Julia. We were separated ten months ago."

"You sensed it too?"

"... No, not until it was too late. Not until I was back here and realized you were not with me."

"Do you know what happened?"

"No, only that we were apart. Where were you?"

Julia began to tremble and she shook her head. She had only vague, faint impressions of where she'd been, of her surroundings, of events in her existence while she'd been gone. When she spoke, her voice was soft and filled with anxiety.

"I don't know... I was safe, well cared for and protected, but... I don't know where I was. I never saw anything or anyone..."

"It's all right, Julia. Perhaps, in time, it will come to you."

"No, I don't think... it's like I was on the edge of sleep the entire time. I wouldn't know where I've been if I saw the place again. I just don't remember..."

Julia's voice trailed off as her eyes grew wide. As suddenly as an unexpected slap in the face, Julia's memory replayed one incident, one event. The recollection of the long, intermittent pain that came with the memory caused her to pale, and Julia closed her eyes tightly, arms wrapping around herself as the memory of the sounds that followed the pain confirmed the remembered images.

"Oh, God, no..."

"Julia, Julia, look at me. Tell me..."

The tears began to trickle down her face and it took Julia several long minutes before she could open her eyes and face Barnabas. How could she tell him? Should she tell him? She had to tell him. He had a right to know. Julia took a deep breath and released it in a ragged sigh.

"Julia..."

"Barnabas, while I was away, I was... I was with child. I - just now - vividly remembered giving birth."

Collins stared at her with a wide, disbelieving gaze. It was not something she would lie about.

"But... No! Julia, were you... did someone or something assault you?"

Her mind working quickly, Julia tried to recall more of where she'd been and what had happened. But she didn't need to. It all fell precisely into place.

"No... I was already pregnant."

She met his gaze levelly.

"I was carrying your child when we were separated, Barnabas. When I was taken from you."

Incredulously, Barnabas stared at Julia, trying to fully grasp and comprehend all she'd just told him.

"How can that be possible, Julia? We did not - have not - made love since I became fully human."

"I know..."

"As a vampire I could not impregnate anyone. That human procreative process is... usurped by... by the vampire..."

Barnabas shook his head in confusion. He did not doubt Julia, she had no reason to deceive him, but... it could not be possible. Could it?

"Normally, that's true, Barnabas, but we both know this last reversion to vampirism wasn't 'normal'."

"No, it wasn't. But why, Julia? Why should this time be different?"

"Perhaps... because someone wanted it to be different."

"Who?"

Julia shook her head. There were several possible candidates, all with their own reasons and motives. Barnabas nodded, realizing he had the same suspects as Julia, and that they could prove none of it.

"I did not think conception between human and vampire was possible. Why, Julia?"

"I have no answers, Barnabas. I know of only one person who could give us those answers, if we care to share all of this with him."

"Eliot Stokes."

"Yes."

"Are you willing to tell him, Julia?"

She swallowed and met Barnabas' intense gaze, holding his hand and lacing their fingers together. She took a deep breath.

"I want -- I need -- to know how and why this has happened, Barnabas. I need to know why - as a vampire - you were able to mate when you never could before. I need to have some understanding of what the purpose of this could be, but... I don't want Eliot to know."

"Nor do I, Julia. Stokes has helped us with so much, but in this, I feel we must find the answers we seek on our own."

Julia just nodded and willingly went into his embrace. She shivered slightly, realizing she'd not known how much she missed feeling Barnabas' arms around her until she felt it again.

Barnabas held Julia close, eyes closed, relieved to have her back with him; determined that the rest of their time together be the best that he could make it.

Knowing it would cause her emotional pain, Barnabas nevertheless asked the question he felt compelled to voice.

"Julia,... do you know if our child is a boy or a girl?"

She pulled in a deep, ragged breath and shook her head against Barnabas' shoulder.

"No... I know I held it, cared for it, nursed it, loved it, but... I remember nothing. I can't even remember what color eyes or hair our child has."

Her voice cracked as she gave in to the tears she'd been holding back. Barnabas tightened his embrace of her and allowed his own tears to fall.

"We will find the answers we need, Julia. I promise."

The information Barnabas and Julia sought came from books. They read everything they could find concerning vampire folklore, legends, and mythology. When they finished, they had the answer they needed.

Conception could occur between vampire and human within the first year after the vampire's change. The resulting offspring was called a dhampir and possessed a number of supernatural powers. The most significant one being a heightened awareness of and ability to identify vampires.

Julia stared at the information before her, feeling Barnabas' hands tighten on her shoulders as he stood behind her, reading the same archaic printing in the centuries old book they'd arranged to study under the supervision of the university archivist. Julia swallowed hard and shut her eyes, then carefully closed the book. They thanked the archive librarian and quietly left the climate controlled room, removing the latex gloves they wore that had protected the pages of the book.

They were outside the building, walking toward the visitor parking lot when the full implication of what they'd learned unleashed itself on Julia. She pulled in a deep, ragged gasp and began to tremble. Barnabas, startled, wrapped his arms around her and guided her to sit on a nearby retaining wall.

"Julia, what is it?" She breathed deeply several times to regain her composure, then grasped Barnabas' hands and met his gaze steadily.

"I understand it all, Barnabas. Someone - some thing - did this to us, deliberately. They caused you to revert; to become a vampire again, this time with the overwhelming need to mate, for the sole purpose, the explicit intention of conceiving this child of mixed existence."

"But why? And who?"

"I don't know specifically who, but... someone who knows of our relationship. We were manipulated, Barnabas. Whoever is responsible... manoeuvered us into that situation, knowing I wouldn't - couldn't - allow you to couple with anyone else, uncertain of the consequences, to you or to her. They knew I would... offer myself and that you would accept. This was deliberate, Barnabas. It was intended the child be a product of our union from the very beginning."

Barnabas' expression had grown hard, his eyes sparked with anger. Yet when he looked at Julia, all his anger and hatred faded. He smiled.

"Yes, but despite the outcome, I cannot be angry or resentful, Julia. For otherwise I would never have realized - or freely admitted - how very dear you are to me, how very much I love you."

"What do we do now, Barnabas?"

"Mourn for the child we will never know, pray for the child whose existence is pre-ordained and immutable. And... go on with our lives, never forgetting this child who has been stolen from us."

"Do you think we will ever have the chance to see our child, meet him, get to know him?"

Barnabas studied Julia's hopeful gaze and reached up to brush the backs of his fingers against her hair. He shook his head.

"I do not know, Julia. It may depend on what the person who now has our child intends for him; how his abilities will be used, and on whom."

Julia nodded slowly, as aware as Barnabas of the fact their child could someday be used against them. But she intended to keep a very close eye on Barnabas, and not allow him to revert to vampirism again if she could possibly prevent it. Instead Julia chose to voice another worry, another concern.

"I just hope whoever has our child, now, will... care for him and love him as we would."

Barnabas nodded his agreement, not wanting to voice what they both knew: that whoever had arranged this, whoever had gone to the trouble to deliberately create a dhampir, would not allow such a rare and valuable being to come to any harm.

"I'm sure they will, Julia. I'm sure they will."

Barnabas smiled fondly, knowing it was a mother hoping to protect her child who had spoken those thoughts, and not the clinically observant, carefully analytical physician who'd been so much a part of his life for so long. He pulled Julia close into his embrace, his mouth resting near her ear.

"I do love you, Julia."

She raised her eyes to meet his, then moved closer until their mouths met in a warm, passionate kiss. Neither was aware of their surroundings or of the people passing by them as classes changed, until one young, approving male voice reached their ears.

"Yeah, man, make love, not war."

Barnabas felt Julia blush, but he held her close and glanced in the direction of the voice. The young man flashed them the peace sign, then was gone. Collins glanced at Julia, thinking the youth was right. He and Julia had spent too much time warring with adversaries - and sometimes each other - in the past. It was time for them to work on the love.

"Let's go home."

Julia nodded and took the hand Barnabas offered her. She stood and they continued back to the car, knowing full well Eliot Stokes would learn of their visit to the archives, and their choice of research material. But it no longer seemed to matter as much.

Julia squeezed Barnabas' hand lightly and leaned slightly closer. His arm came about her waist and they settled into a comfortable, comforting closeness.

Ten weeks later Barnabas Collins and Julia Hoffman were married in a small, quiet ceremony in the drawing room of Collinwood. They rarely spoke about their time in 1870, or the child that had resulted from that experience, but both knew, in the back of their minds, they would someday meet this child of mixed existence. And when that happened, their lives would again be irrevocably changed.

To be Continued

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