One Night in a Million

Darkwing grinned as he watched the robber glance around. Darkwing threw another stone, and it hit the opposite wall of the safe. What cha gonna do? He thought. Not scared? Think it’s just some animal? Darkwing suddenly growled, and bared his teeth. Guess again.
Darkwing looked at the gas pellet. He was fairly sure of his unique (though new-found) talent of disappearing and then reappearing in a cloud of smoke, but he didn’t trust it fully. He tossed the gas pellet to the other side of the room, and as it looked to the thief like he was going to appear there, he did his trick, and soon the terrified criminal was surrounded by smoke.
"I am the terror that flaps in the night!" he yelled in the robber’s ear. He really should add to that sometime.
The thief jumped and threw his hands in the air. "Look, I ain’t gonna do nothing! Don’t hurt me! I’s comin quietly!"
I hate babblers, Darkwing frowned.
"Shut up! Come on," Darkwing slapped a pair of handcuffs on his wrists. "We’re going for a little ride. But don’t worry," Darkwing smiled darkly "I wont make you wear a seat belt."
The frightened and bewildered criminal wondered if that was a threat.

Darkwing sniffed as he left the police building. Stupid, stuck up doughnut-pushing pen-eaters! "Oh Mr Darkthing," he mimicked in his mind. "We are glad that you want to help, but why don’t you join your neighbourhood watch instead? Leave the dangerous work to us, Mr Darkling." Oh please! Coming from a fat lardball full of a soft doughy substance, THAT little speech was downright laughable!
To illustrate the point, Darkwing forced a laugh. "Ha ha ha." It doesn’t sound very happy, Darkwing thought. But he pushed that idea away, finding happiness was not something high on Darkwing’s list.
What I need, he considered, Is someone to congratulate me when I catch a crook, or stop a hijacking, or something. Someone to actually care what happens to me!
He thought about that for half a second, then shook himself. Dream on, that wheedling voice in his brain whined. Love you? Is that what you want? Well then, you’ll be waiting a long time. Because you’ve been alone ever since you were born, and you will be till the day you die. Which hopefully wont be too long away.
He shivered, he hated it when that little inner voice told the truth. He wasn’t going to be wanted, maybe death would be better than being a bitter old man, which he almost was anyway.
He came out of his thoughts, and realised he hadn’t got on the Ratcatcher yet. He jumped on and roared off, letting the thrumming of the engine cloud his mind for another night.
Face the truth? He’d been running too long.

Story Copyright Rachel Baker ’98. Character Copyright Disney, and used without permission.

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