THE WORKSHOP
NYTW 1994: RENT in the beginning....
(painstakingly transcribed by anji)
The Cast:
Mark
Anthony Rapp
Maureen
Sarah Knowlton
Roger
Tony Hoylen
Joanne
Shelley Dickinson
Mimi
Daphne Rubin- Vega
Benny
Michael Potts
Angel
Mark Setlock
Blockbuster Rep
Erin Hill
Collins
Pat Briggs
Ensemble
Deirdre Boddie-Henderson
Gilles Chiasson
Sheila Kay Davis
John Lathan
Jesse Sinclair Lenat
The Libretto - Act I
Voice Mail #1
... the phone rings...
Mark & Roger:
SPEAK!!
...from the answering machine...
Dave:
Roger it's Dave ($4.50). This is the last time you've left me without a
bartender (Two Buds!). Don't bother coming in next week (Rolling
Rock!) - you're 86ed.
... the phone rings...
Mark & Roger:
SPEAK!!
...from the answering machine...
Mark's Mom:
That was a very loud beep. I don't even know if this is working,
Mark! Mark, are you there, are you screening your calls- it's Mom!
We wanted to call to say we love you and we'll miss you tomorrow.
Cindy and the kids are here, send their love. I hope you like the
hotplate- just don't leave it on, dear, when you leave the house. Oh
and Mark- your father got a call from Chemical Bank- I don't know
how they got our number- but we meant it when we said that you're
cut off. Love Mom!
... the phone rings...
Mark & Roger:
SPEAK!!
...from the answering machine...
Benny:
Dudes! Benny. I know it's Christmas, but I need the cash- something
big-on my way. Don't block the box, a- hole. Later!
Splatter
Mark:
If I threw my body out the window, brain all splattered, guts all
steaming in the snow, I wouldn't have to finish shooting films that no
one wants to show. RENT!
Roger:
If I studied something, paid a salary, wouldn't have to do the shit I
do for cash. My guts all steaming- fuck this dreaming. Speed, metal,
rock: songs for the trash!
Mark:
The wheels aren't turning!
Roger:
It's worthy of burning!
Both:
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay last months rent?
Roger:
If I took a hammer, tapped my forehead, wouldn't have to wake and
stagger thorough the week. Or hear a boring, grinning, whoring,
brainless, dull producer speak! RENT!
Mark:
If I slid the bars back, hurled my body through the cracked glass on
some crackhead's cardboard bed, Maureen could kick my frozen
frame, and shout my name and then drop dead!
Roger:
She's got a new man? What's his name?
Mark:
Joanne!
Both:
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay last months rent?
...off...
Angel:
You okay honey?
Collins:
I'm afraid so.
Angel:
They get any money?
Collins:
No- had none to get. But they purloined my coat. Well you missed a
sleeve. Thanks.
Angel:
Hell, it's Christmas Eve.
...
Maureen:
That's the stage Joanne. Kiss. Remind me when I stress or get mean.
Joanne:
That was last Tuesday night, Maureen.
...
Angel:
I'm Angel.
Collins:
Indeed. An angel of the first degree. Friends call me Collins, Tom
Collins. Nice tree.
...
Roger:
If I toss my carcass in the dumpster, my fingers wouldn't bleed and
blister and scar. My head wouldn't pound from the sound of garbage
streaming out of my guitar.
Mark:
If I killed myself or studied business, no more parents spitting up on
my career. So are you showing? Where's this going? Home for
Christmas?
Both:
Not this year!
Mark:
You're hungry and frozen!
Roger:
It's some life that we've chosen!
Both:
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay last months rent?
This months rent?
Next months rent?
Rent rent rent rent rent.
How we gonna pay rent?
How we gonna pay rent?
You're a Fool
Roger:
You're off?
Mark:
You wanna wait here for Benny?
Roger:
Is there anything else to do?
Mark:
Anything but Maureen's show.
Roger:
You want to go, yes?
Mark:
I guess.
Roger:
For someone cool, you're a fool.
Mark
I know.
Roger:
But her show's not till one.
Mark:
We'll do something else, it's Christmas.
Roger:
Oh fun, some of us don't have time for that.
Mark:
Awwwww...
Roger:
Some of us get writers block.
Mark:
What a crock.
Roger:
Some of our parents don't pay our bills.
Mark:
Mr. Negative cuz he's HIV- positive.
Roger:
You can't know, give me some latitude.
Mark:
Maybe you're blocked because of that attitude.
Roger:
I doubt you'd be so brave. Hell, you're scared to see your ex.
Mark:
I'm a chicken shit, a hypocrite. I admit.
Roger:
I rest my case. For someone cool, you're a fool.
Mark:
Lets make a deal.
Roger:
No deals.
Mark:
I'll see Maureen if you come out tonight.
Roger:
I don't fit in anymore, all right? Anyway I'm working.
...plays guitar...
It's scratchy.
Mark:
It recalls something, but it's catchy.
Roger:
The inspired zone of my brain has atrophied. But I need to leave a
mark, before I croak-
Mark:
Not funny.
Roger:
No joke.
I wish that I could turn the days I wasted toying with dope fiends
and groupies into days spent obsessing over details, the way that
you do.
Mark:
If you only knew... I spend so much time obsessing, it's depressing.
For someone cool, you're the fool. You want to rediscover the spark,
leave a mark, share something with someone... Face your fears...
Roger:
What's that I hear? Maureen did you say...?
Mark:
Touché.
Both:
For someone cool, you're a-
...a knock...
Shit!
...another knock...
Hi!
...another knock...
The lock!
...another knock...
Damn.
...Collins enters...
Bustelo, Marlboro, banana by the bunch. A box of Cap'n Crunch would
taste so good... and firewood... must be Santa Claus!
Collins:
Hold your applause.
Mark & Roger:
Collins!
Collins:
Playing Anne Frank with your landlord? Better have some Stoli!
Mark & Roger:
O, holy night... you struck gold at MIT?
Collins:
Eh, they expelled me for my theory of actual reality which I now
impart to the couch potatoes at New York University. Gentlemen,
our benefactor on this Christmas Eve, whose music is the purest on
the bowery I believe- a true member of the Alphabet City avant
garde: Angel Dumott Schunard!
Today 4 U
Angel:
Today for you, tomorrow for me.
Today for you, tomorrow for me!
Collins:
And you should hear her beat!
Roger:
You earned this on the street?
Angel:
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A when a lady in a limousine
drove my way. She said, "Darling, be a dear, I haven't slept in a
year- I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear.
This Akita, Evita, just won't shut up- I believe if you play non- stop
that pup will breathe it's very last high- strung breath. I'm certain
that cur will bark itself to death!" Today for you, tomorrow for me.
Today for you, tomorrow for me. We agreed on a fee: a thousand
dollar guarantee- tax free- and a bonus, if I trim her tree. Now who
could foretell that it would work so well? But sure as I am here that
dog is now in doggie hell. After an hour, Evita, in all her glory, on
the window ledge of that 23rd story- like Thelma and Louise did when
they got the blues- swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie
Mews. Today for you, tomorrow for me. Today for you, tomorrow for
me. I said today for you, tomorrow for me. Today for you, tomorrow
for me!
Do a Little Business
Benny:
The checkbook Allison, the checkbook Allison, the checkbook- not my
datebook, for the money Allison, honey, Allison- the batteries are
running out of gas! Just find me, Allison, the checkbook Allison,
otherwise, Allison, it's my ass! And so this is Christmas.
...Benny enters...
Ho ho ho ho! Dudes! Feed the world, let them know it's Christmas
time and- Hey you bum, yeah you move over. Get your ass off that
Range Rover! Boys I'm double parked!
Mark:
Benny.
Benny:
How's your project? Good.
Mark:
You yuppie scum.
Benny:
How's your project? Good. You've worked how long?
Mark:
Six years.
Benny:
And for what?
Mark:
That's not the point.
Benny:
You kill me. Six years, Allison, since I blew this dump. What'd I make,
a million? I just did a little business-
Mark:
Did a little business.
Benny:
What's wrong with that? I bought this building-
Mark:
Bought this building.
Benny:
I bought the lot next door. I bought another-
Collins:
And another.
Benny:
And I need to buy one more!
Collins:
Just like Monopoly.
Angel:
I love Monopoly! I'll be the dog.
Collins:
I'll be the hat.
Mark:
What next, little green houses?
Collins:
Plastic houses.
Roger:
A little red plastic hotel.
Benny:
A video franchise!
Mark, Roger, Collins, & Angel:
Video franchise!?!
Benny:
The deal your rent will underwrite- one last building, own the block!
Then sell! Cough it up! Tonight's my night! And tell Maureen-
Mark:
We aren't speaking.
Benny:
Her protest better end by two, we're putting in fences.
Collins:
On Christmas Day?
Benny:
That wasn't me.
Mark, Roger, Collins, & Angel:
Then who?
Benny:
It's none of your business.
Mark:
None of our business?
Benny:
Tonight your business is the rent.
Mark & Roger:
Yeah.
Collins:
That your jeep?
Benny:
My Range Rover.
Roger:
The perfect car for urban play.
Benny:
We use it, too, to get away.
Mark:
East Hampton is just like the outback.
Collins:
L-I-E: like a safari.
Roger:
We should buy one!
Mark:
We should buy two!
Benny:
Now then-
Angel:
Now then-
Collins:
Buy ten!
Mark, Roger, Collins, & Angel:
Bye- bye!
Roger:
Wait, what happened to the jag?
Benny:
With a wife and the dog it was a drag.
Angel:
A drag? What kind of hag- I mean dog do you have?
Benny:
Evita's an Akita.
Mark, Roger, Collins, & Angel:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Benny:
Gotta do a little business.
Mark:
Do a little business.
Benny:
Can we?
Mark & Roger:
We can.
Benny:
November, December, January brings the sum to-
Angel:
I just cannot believe that they are out on Christmas Eve.
Benny:
What?
Angel:
A towtruck.
Benny:
The city needs the reven- towtruck! You fuck! A towtruck Allison, a
towtruck Allison, a towtruck towtruck towtruck Allison. A towtruck
Allison, a towtruck Allison, a towtruck towtruck towtruck towtruck....
Female to Female
Maureen:
Female to female. Female to female. Female to female, Joanne - we
said female to female. When we left the house, what cable did we
say to pack?
No that's a headphone jack!
Joanne:
Yes, Maureen.
Maureen:
No, the plugs are red and black!
Joanne:
Yes, Maureen.
Maureen:
Did you check the knapsack?
Joanne:
Yes, Maureen.
Maureen:
Then you'll have to go back.
Joanne:
I guess, Maureen.
Maureen:
We said RCA-
Joanne:
Uh- huh.
Maureen:
We said RCA-
Joanne:
You're right.
Maureen:
To connect the sampler to the digital delay-
Joanne:
Lets not get uptight.
Maureen:
To run from the amp to the video display. Am I such a dumb cow?
Joanne:
No!
Maureen:
Should I take poison now?
Joanne:
No!
Maureen:
God, this is going worse than we expected.
Joanne:
I know, Maureen.
Maureen:
How can I perform if we're unconnected?
Joanne:
I'll go Maureen.
Maureen:
It's times like these I really appreciate Mark.
HE SAYS
Mark:
Now's our chance!
Angel:
Mr. Finance lived here?
Collins:
Before the real estate career.
Mark:
We can't stay!
Roger:
Benny was a dilettante, then he met a debutante.
Go ahead, I'll catch up.
Mark:
No way!
Collins:
Come to the meeting.
Roger:
What meeting?
Angel:
He lived here?
Collins:
Support group- P.W.A.
Mark:
Benny'll be back- come!
Roger:
I don't need twelve steps.
Mark:
I know Benny, he'll make us pay.
All:
For someone cool, he's a fool.
Roger:
He kicks us out, we move- so what?
Collins:
But where- do you know?
Roger:
I've got a car, so as far as April's bucket'll go. Santa Fe, Austin...
Mark:
We couldn't make Boston.
Angel:
April?
Mark:
Suicidal girl who OD'd. He says he loved her- what he loves is to
bleed. Over two years since she left that car key, but he never
drives it.
Roger:
That's enough.
Angel:
Dinner's on me.
Mark:
First the meeting, then Maureen's show.
Roger:
I'll see you at the restaurant.
Mark:
But the meeting!
...Roger punches Mark...
Ohh!
He says he'll see us at the restaurant. He says he wants to stay and
play his guitar. He says he wants to be obsessed with art, like me.
He says he wants to redevelop the creative side of his brain. He says
he doesn't need support groups...
Roger:
I say he'll bring his camera.
Mark:
He says he doesn't know why I go when I'm not sick or queer.
Roger:
But it's to make a career!
Mark:
He says he doesn't think that love is possible anymore.
Roger:
It's not!
Mark & Roger:
One day I'll fix that car she left him/me and fly...
Mark
I don't believe a word...
I don't believe a word...
I don't believe a word he says.
...Mark, Angel, and Collins exit...
Right Brain
Roger:
Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from
this night-....
...plays guitar, but stops, frustrated...
The right brain... How do I find the right brain? I lost my map, the
right brain- its when I get locked in. Find the right brain, like driving
north, right brain-Pacific Coast Highway... from San Simeon to Big
Sur. Find the right brain, the sight of the sky, the right brain-the
sound of the ocean. The ocean... Find the right brain, hugging the
curves, the right brain, as the sun sets. The right brain- through the
trees into the sea. Time flies.... time dies. Right brain. Can't find the
right brain. I can't find the right brain. Right brain....Find, the right
brain- like driving her head over the edge of the bed,
breathing the only sound. Find the right brain, the touch of her skin,
the right brain- the smell of the ocean. The ocean... Find the right
brain hugging the curves, the right brain- as you enter, the right
brain- through her thighs into the sea. Time flies- I never needed to
concentrate before. Time dies....
...a knock...
The door!
Light My Candle
Roger:
I'm not going!
Mimi:
Got a light?
Roger:
I know you, you're- you're shivering.
Mimi:
It's nothing, they turned off my heat- and I'm just a little weak on
my feet. Would you light my candle? What are you staring at?
Roger:
Nothing, your hair in the moonlight. You look familiar- Can you make
it?
Mimi:
Just haven't eaten much today. At least the room's stopped spinning,
anyways. What?
Roger:
Nothing- your smile reminded me of-
Mimi:
I always remind people of- who is she?
Roger:
She died. Her name was April.
Mimi:
It's out again. Sorry about your friend. Would you light my candle?
Roger:
Well...
Mimi:
Yeah... ow!
Roger:
Oh, the wax! It's-
Mimi:
Dripping! I like it between my-
Roger:
Fingers, I figured. Oh well, good night.
...Mimi exits, then knocks again...
It blew out again?
Mimi:
No! I think that I dropped my stash.
Roger:
I know I've seen you out and about, when I used to go out... Your
candle's out.
Mimi:
I'm illin' I had it when I walked in the door- it was pure! Is it on the
floor?
Roger:
The floor?
Mimi:
They say that I have the best ass below 14th street... Is it true?
Roger:
What?
Mimi:
You're starin' again.
Roger:
Oh no- I mean, you do- have a nice- I mean... You look familiar.
Mimi:
Like your dead girlfriend.
Roger:
Only when you smile but I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else.
Mimi:
Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club? That's where I work, I dance.
Help me look!
Roger:
Yes! They used to tie you up!
Mimi:
It's a living.
Roger:
I didn't recognize you without the handcuffs!
Mimi:
We could light the candle. Oh won't you light the candle?
Roger:
Why don't you forget that stuff? You look like you're sixteen.
Mimi:
I'm nineteen- but I'm old for my age. I'm just born to be bad!
Roger:
I once was born to be bad. I used to shiver like that.
Mimi:
I have no heat, I told you.
Roger:
I used to sweat-
Mimi:
I got a cold-
Roger:
Uh- huh, I used to be a junkie.
Mimi:
Now and then I like to-
Roger:
Uh- huh.
Mimi:
Feel good.
Roger:
Here it- oh, no.
Mimi:
What's that?
Roger:
Candy bar wrapper.
Mimi:
We could light the candle. Oh what'd you do with my candle?
Roger:
That was my last match.
Mimi:
Our eyes'll adjust. Thank god for the moon.
Roger:
Maybe it's not the moon at all. I heard Spike Lee's shooting down the
street.
Mimi:
Bah Humbug. Bah Humbug.
Roger:
Cold hands.
Mimi:
Yours, too. Big, like my father's. Do you wanna dance?
Roger:
With you?
Mimi:
No, with my father.
Roger:
I'm Roger.
Mimi:
They call me, they call me, Mimi.
On the Street
Homeless person:
Christmas bells are ringing....
Christmas bells are ringing....
Christmas bells are ringing-
somewhere else.
Not here.
Voice Mail #2
... the phone rings...
Maureen:
Hi, you've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message, and don't
forget: Over the Moon, my performance protesting the 11th Street
rezoning, tonight at 1 am at the 11th Street lot between A and B.
Party at Life Cafe to follow.
...from answering machine...
Mr. Jefferson:
Well Joanne, we're off. Call Daisy for our itinerary, or Alfred at Pound
Ridge, or Eileen at the State Department in a pinch. We'll be at the
spa for New Year's- unless the Senator changes his mind.
Mrs. Jefferson:
The hearings!
Mr. Jefferson:
Oh, yes, Muffin: Mummy's confirmation hearing begins on the 10th-
we'll need you- alone- by the sixth for the briefings and the
luncheons on the eighth.
Mrs. Jefferson:
Harold!
Mr. Jefferson:
You hear that? It's three weeks away, and she's already nervous!
Mrs. Jefferson:
I am not!
Mr. Jefferson:
For Mummy's sake Muffin- no doc martins this time. And wear a
dress. Oh, and Muffin- have a Merry-
Mrs. Jefferson:
And a bra!!
