===============================================================
Scene IX: Duncan's barge
[DUNCAN returns from an errand to find ALLISON in a Xena costume with Zorro hat, mask, and capelet waiting for him.]
DUNCAN: "That's a new look for you, isn't it?"
ALLISON: "Like it? People are just dying to look like this!"
[She pirouettes to show off the cape action.]
DUNCAN: "Allison, what's going on? What do you want?"
ALLISON: "What do I want? I want you, Duncan. I wanted to know if you had as long a sword as I was told."
[ALLISON runs her hands over DUNCAN's shoulders and down his chest. She's reaching for his belt, when he stops her.]
DUNCAN: "You're not yourself. You've come under an evil influence."
ALLISON: "Silly boy, I AM evil.
ALLISON (singing to the tune of "Whatever Lola Wants" from "Damn Yankees!" by Richard Adler & Jerry Ross as she does a slinky striptease):
"Whatever Evil
wants, Evil gets.
And, Hunky Dunky, this Evil wants you.
Come over to the bed, I won't bite.
Recline yourself,
Resign yourself,
You're mine.
I always get what I aim for,
And your lovely head is what I came for."
[She glances down and smiles.]
"Whatever Evil
wants, Evil gets.
Take off your clothes,
Let's get close,
Don't you see?
You're no exception to the rule.
Sin's irresistible, you fool.
Give in."
[DUNCAN's about to do just that when there's a knock at the door. DUNCAN turns away from ALLISON who disappears.]
DUNCAN: "Go away!"
METHOS (off stage): "MacLeod! We have to talk!"
DUNCAN: "I'm busy!"
METHOS (off stage): "This is important!"
[DUNCAN turns back to the bed and notices that ALLISON is gone.]
DUNCAN: "Oh, all right."
[DUNCAN trudges over to the door and opens it. METHOS and JOE enter. Meanwhile, the half of the stage where ALLISON had been fades into darkness.]
METHOS: "Richie told us what's going on."
JOE: "Mac, you've got to let us help you."
DUNCAN: "This is something I have to do alone."
JOE: "I've heard that one before, Mac."
DUNCAN: "Or I could just be going crazy."
METHOS: "*I'VE* heard that one before, MacLeod!"
[DUNCAN glares at him, but is interrupted by the phone ringing.]
DUNCAN: "Richie? Seen who?"
RICHIE: "Horton! He was holding a gun on Joe! They were headed for the abandoned racetrack!"
DUNCAN [looking at JOE]: "What?! Richie--"
OPERATOR (off stage): "Please insert 1 franc for the next three minutes."
RICHIE: "Mac, I'm outta change. I've gotta go!"
[hangs up and runs off into the darkness]
DUNCAN: "RICHIE!"
[DIAL TONE]
DUNCAN [running out the door]: "Richie's going after Horton at the racetrack! Lock up when you leave."
JOE: "Mac! Wait, we'll go with you." [but DUNCAN is gone]
METHOS: "I've got a bad feeling about this..."
[They exit and lights go down.]
===============================================================
Scene X: Abandoned Racetrack
[Light comes up on part of the stage to reveal RICHIE, sword drawn, walking and looking around.]
RICHIE: "Joe? Horton? Come out, come out, wherever you are. "
[RICHIE moves out of the light and it fades out.]
[On another part of the stage, the lights come up revealing DUNCAN, walking and looking around.]
DUNCAN: "Richie?"
DUNCAN: "Richie?!"
EVIL_RICHIE: "Looking for me, Mac?"
DUNCAN: "I was looking for my friend."
EVIL_RICHIE: "I'm your friend." [Swings his sword toward DUNCAN]
"I'm not your friend."
[Another red spotlight comes on to reveal HORTON.]
HORTON: "I'm the man you cannot kill."
[Another red spotlight comes on, revealing KRONOS.]
KRONOS: "I am everything mankind calls demon or devil."
HORTON: "I am Set."
EVIL_RICHIE: "I am Ahriman."
KRONOS: "I am Davis/Panzer."
DUNCAN: "Och! Not that!"
[The EVIL incarnations are joined by their stunt doubles and they all circle DUNCAN as the music comes up...]
HORTON (singing to the tune of "The Phantom of the Opera" from "The Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Charles Hart):
"The dead have
come to you.
Your soul to claim...
EVIL_RICHIE (singing):
"The Evil calls
to you
And speaks my name."
KRONOS (singing):
"Are you insane
again?
For now you find..."
EVIL TRIO (singing):
"The demon Zorro,
Astrian
Is there -- inside your mind."
EVIL_RICHIE (singing):
"Fight once again
with me,
You haven't killed me yet."
HORTON (singing):
"My power over
you
Grows stronger yet."
KRONOS (singing):
"Future and
history
In one combined
EVIL TRIO (singing):
"The demon Zorro,
Astrian
Is there -- inside your mind.
KRONOS (singing):
"Those who have
seen my face
Draw back in fear.
EVIL_RICHIE (singing):
"You seek your
friends for help,
But they're not here.
HORTON (singing):
"You face me all
alone.
The fates aren't kind..."
EVIL TRIO (singing):
"The demon Zorro,
Astrian
Is there -- inside your mind.
"I'm here,
The demon Zorro, Astrian.
Know fear -
The demon Zorro, Astrian!"
HORTON (singing):
"Your Immortality
Won't save you now."
KRONOS (singing):
"It is your
destiny
To die right now...
EVIL_RICHIE (singing):
"And you won't
rise again,
Alas, you'll find..."
EVIL TRIO (singing):
"The demon Zorro,
Astrian
Is there -- inside your mind.
[Lights go down as evil laughter rings out.]
[EVIL_RICHIE and DUNCAN dash backstage trading off the cape and hat. Lights come up on opposite side of stage and RICHIE enters, still searching for Joe and Horton. EVIL_DUNCAN, in Zorro cape and hat, enters behind him.]
EVIL_DUNCAN: "Oh, Richie, I'm Ho-ome!"
[RICHIE spins to face him.]
RICHIE: "Mac!" [takes in the Zorro outfit.]"Mac?"
EVIL_DUNCAN: "I'm ba-ack! Did you really think I'd gotten over my Dark Quickening? I just learned how to hide it. I've just been waiting for the perfect moment to take your precious little head."
RICHIE: "Mac! I don't believe that. I can't believe that!"
EVIL_DUNCAN (singing to the tune of "A Boy Like That" from "West Side Story" by Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim as he and RICHIE start exchanging sword blows):
"A man like me
would kill his student.
Yet, you're still here. You think that prudent?
I'll go for your head
You'll end up quite dead.
A man like me has brought you sorrow,
And you expect to see tomorrow?
I'll chop off your head.
You'll end up quite dead!
You foolish boy, you can't win.
You foolish boy, why begin?
'Cause I'm the man who'll break your heart and take head.
You'll be dead, dear Richie, very dead!
A man like me wants only one thing
And I will soon have your quickening.
I'll murder your trust.
I'll murder love.
Just try for me,
Just try, dear Richie.
I'll take your head!"
[RICHIE and EVIL_DUNCAN start going at it in earnest with EVIL_DUNCAN moving in and out of shadow. On one of the these disappearances, Duncan's STUNT double substitutes for EVIL_DUNCAN, so that DUNCAN can ditch the cape and appear on the other side of stage...]
[The lights come up there to reveal DUNCAN receiving attacks from HORTON and his DOUBLE, KRONOS and his DOUBLE, and EVIL_RICHIE (stunt double) moving in and out of shadows. Audience should NOT notice there is only one EVIL_RICHIE.] [The fights continue, moving closer and closer to middle of stage with RICHIE and DUNCAN unaware of each other's fights. Eventually RICHIE and DUNCAN end up back to back. DUNCAN swings and his sword connects with RICHIE's neck. RICHIE drops and all the EVIL incarnations step back into the dark laughing. The laughter fades away quickly.]
DUNCAN [falling grief-stricken to his knees]: "RICHIE!"
RICHIE [sitting up]: "OW! Damn! That hurts!"
DUNCAN: "But how?"
RICHIE [flipping down coat collar to reveal dented neck brace]: "I'm loyal, not stupid. You went off your nut twice before and each time I got sliced and diced. I wasn't taking any chances this time."
[DUNCAN hugs RICHIE.]
RICHIE: "Aw, Mac, not in front of the bad guys!"
[The BAD GUYS -- including the original statue -- have indeed returned amidst red lights, darkness, and fog. DUNCAN and RICHIE stand to face them together.]
[The final battle is grand and glorious, with DUNCAN and RICHIE working in tandem to eliminate the BAD GUYS one by one. Finally, DUNCAN and RICHIE simultaneously strike the STATUE whose head rolls across the stage.]
[Offstage fans blow away the fog as lights flash on and off, leaving the stage lit in normal white light. The two-part STATUE is still on the floor, but all the other EVIL incarnations are gone. DUNCAN and RICHIE are leaning against each other catching their breath as JOE and METHOS enter.]
JOE: "Looks like we missed all the fun again."
METHOS: "Joe, they're gonna pull your Watcher status if you miss very many more of MacLeod's battles."
JOE: "I should be so lucky."
[METHOS moves over to investigate the STATUE.]
METHOS: "Hey! I knew this guy! A real pain in the neck! 'Cursed anyone more successful with women than himself. Glad you took care of him. He's been cramping my style for thousands of years!"
JOE: "You can tell us all about it over drinks. C'mon guys, I'm buying. If I'm going to keep my job, I need to get your stories while they're fresh."
[The four of them leave together and lights go down.]
=THE END=
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