Welcome to the first ever Highlander VR Con. The
schedule of activities below, like all items prepared
for this virtual reality convention, is a work of
parody. We understand that the Highlander name,
concept and characters belong to other people, not
us, and no infringement of copyright is intended. No
real people mentioned are really attending this
convention, and we mean them absolutely no harm.
We're just having fun while we're stuck at home,
unable to pack for the real Anaheim convention.
In short, this is a parody/satire con. This is
only a parody/satire con. If this was a real
con, huge amounts of money would be changing hands,
and we would all be heading for a secluded beach in a
country with no extradition treaty with the U.S.
Instead, no money is changing hands,
not
even virtual money. We did charge virtual money, but
no-one paid us!
Please note that, except where otherwise noted
(i.e. for Paris tours), times stated in the actual
schedule are eastern standard times because many of
us live in that time zone and don't add and subtract
too well. We do realize that Seacouver would be over
on the west coast, but in VR space and time, we moved
it around a bit.
However, since a number of con attendees live
all
over the world, and maybe even on entirely different
planets, before we begin, here's a conversion chart
so you can compare our convention times with the time
where you live, or wish you did :
| City | Hours different from EST | City | Hours different from EST | City | Hours different from EST | City | Hours different from EST |
| Adelaide | +15 1/2 | Aden | +8 | Algiers | +6 | Amsterdam | +6 |
| Anchorage | -4 | Ankara | +7 | Auckland | =18 | Atlanta | +0 |
| Athens | +7 | Baghdad | +8 | Bangkok | +12 | Barbados | +1 |
| Barcelona | +6 | Beijing | +13 | Berlin | +6 | Bermuda | +1 |
| Bombay | +10 1/2 | Brisbane | +15 | Bucharest | +7 | Buenos Aires | +2 |
| Cairo | +7 | Chicago | -1 | Dallas | -1 | Detroit | +0 |
| Dublin | +5 | Fiji Islands | +17 | Geneva | +6 | Glasgow | +5 |
| Havana | +0 | Helsinki | +7 | Hong Kong | +11 | Jerusalem | +7 |
| Lagos | +6 | Lima | +0 | London | +5 | Los Angeles | -3 |
| Manila | +11 | Melbourne | +16 | Mexico City | -1 | Montreal | +0 |
| Moscow | +8 | Nairobi | +8 | Newfoundland | +1 1/2 | New York | +0 |
| Nice | +6 | Oslo | +6 | Perth | +13 | Phoenix | -1 |
| Rio de Janeiro | +3 | Rome | +6 | Salt Lake City | -2 | San Francisco | -3 |
| Santiago | +2 | Seattle | -3 | Seoul | +14 | Shanghai | +13 |
| Sydney | +16 | Tallinn | +7 | Tokyo | +14 | Toronto | +0 |
| Vancouver | -3 | Venice | +6 | Vienna | +6 | Vladivostock | +13 |
| Warsaw | +6 | Washington DC | +0 | Wellington | +16 | Zurich | +6 |
The main thing is to relax and enjoy yourself. It's all
VR, so we're here when you are.
3 p.m. - This is the official opening
time, but if we open a little early please don't sue
us. Check in at hospitality desk at VR Katana Space
hotel or its twin hotel, the VR
Motorcycle Helmet Lodge and Convention Center,
both located in the deserted Seacouver warehouse.
Stand on the Hideous Green Leather Richard Ryan
memorial artificial turf and pass through the zip
gate zipper to compress yourself into katana space.
Receive your room assignments and select your
activities at this time.
By the way, before we continue, a brief word about
Highlander addiction, which in extreme forms leads to
such bizarre behaviour as creating Virtual Reality
Conventions! There *is* help for you, and you won't
have to worry about whether your insurance will cover
it. Dr. Wendy, our con counselor, will be lecturing
on Highlander addiction throughout the con and is
also available on call for individual counseling
sessions. She will be running group therapy sessions
as well.
At the hospitality desk when you sign-in, you
will receive a brochure detailing Dr. Wendy's
services and explaining her special Highlander
Withdrawal Patch System. If you've heard of Dr.
Wendy's HighlaDerm special withdrawal patches, but
not yet had an opportunity to try them, now's your
chance.
The Dealer's Room is
open. Come see our wonderful lines of
merchandise.
5 p.m. till 6 p.m. - Happy Hour at Joe's. Try the VR drinks, study
the blues, catch up on your reading. This is a great
site managed by Kathryn.
6.30 p.m. till 8.30 p.m. - Opening ceremony in
Katana Space hotel main ballroom, followed by dinner
served by our famous food team and featuring our
favorite phrases ("It looks like chicken", "It tastes
like chicken", "It really is chicken":, ":You
should have ordered the chicken"). The opening ceremony features
our mistress of ceremonies Debi, and a rousing group
sing of the convention's theme song as modified by
Patt (again, no copyright infringement intended; just
for fun).
9 p.m. till 11 p.m. - Dancing to the Smoking
Joe Dawson/SMELT/Koreena McLinnett barbershop band.
If the music starts to get to you, there's always
Joe's, the Dealer's room, and Christy's Carnival
Games Room. Or hop over to Brida's Petting Zoo. Or
visit the Emily and Cheryl's Reading
Room.
11 p.m. till the next morning - Joe's open and
the holodeck open. Holodeck is managed by sue, the
captain of our security and transporter teams.
Saturday, March 21st
Transporter beam is open for Paris tours, and
beginning at 2 a.m. EST (8 a.m. Paris time) our
hostess in Paris, Maroussia, will be waiting at the
other end of the transporter beam to take you on the
following :
2 a.m. till 3 a.m.(8 a.m. till 9 a.m.
Paris) - Have continental breakfast served on another
continent. (Maroussia and her team welcome you sleepy
travellers to Paris).
3 a.m. till 4 a.m.(9 a.m. till 10 a.m.) -
Nondenominational services in Darius' church or, if
you prefer, continue snacking before the tour starts.
For those staying today in Paris: tours by Maroussia
from 10am till 6pm Paris time (4am till noon EST).
Tour agenda for today in Paris features your choice
of the Amanda or Methos/Mac/Richie package.
Package 1(all tours Paris time)
Shopping with Amanda (who has Duncan's AMEX): 10 a.m.
Chanel's; 12 noon Saint Laurent, followed by lunch at
the Ritz; 3 p.m. Christian Lacroix; and 5 p.m.
Jean-Paul Gaultier.
Package 2(again, all tours Paris time)
10 a.m., search for an old toledo sword with Duncan
at the Louvre des Antiquitaires; 12 noon spar with
Richie at the Salle d'Armes; 2 p.m. join Methos for a
cool beer at the Cafe Les Etages; 4 p.m. join Methos,
Mac, Richie and Darius at a concert from the Sacred
Art Festival at the Museum of Middle Ages.
Be sure to check back for the next morning's choice
of very early morning activities (katas or motorcycle
racing through Paris) and consider dropping into
Paris for lunch on Sunday with Amanda at the Institut
de Monde Arabe. More on these activities later in the
Schedule.
Additional items have been added to the Paris tour
schedule, including the option of attending a
spectacular party at the home of a really old married
couple (Robert and Gina from "Till Death"). So be
sure to check out Maroussia's Paris tour.
Meanwhile, back to the Seacouver end of the con :
For those returning to Seacouver, or those who never
left the States :
10 a.m. EST - Highlander, the lecture series
(each lecture repeating every hour from 10 a.m. till
2 p.m.)
All questions will be hijacked by donna, who
will answer them however she wants. All decisions on
the answers are hers and will be final. (Sample:Is
Richie Ryan able to fly? Answer: of course.)