Hotel Facilities
Please note that the "brochure" below is a work of parody only. No
phone numbers are real, and no facilities are real. No copyright
infringement is intended.
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THE VR KATANA SPACE HOTEL AND
THE VR MOTORCYCLE HELMET CONVENTION CENTER
The best of convention life in zipped format!
Yes, thanks now to the magic of the zip file technology, you too can now
live and vacation in Katana space or inside an historic and much-beloved
artifact of a famous personality, the late lamented Richard Ryan.
How, you may ask? Why, simply zip your VR self into a VR zip file,
attach yourself and your luggage to a registration form and your VR
check or credit card, and come see all the wonders of a really fine VR
space hotel and convention center.
After you spend a weekend with us, you'll never want to return to real
life again!
Where are we located? In lovely Seacouver, USA, with easy transporter
beam access to Paris, France, with no passport required!
In Seacouver we are situated in the very heart of the MacLeod Memorial
Warehouse, on luxurious green leather artificial turf manufactured from
another beloved artifact of the late Richard Ryan. There our twin
facilities are:
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The Hotel VR Katana Space:
The finest hotel of its kind. Regular
rooms are $100 VR dollars per night; special suites are $150 VR dollars
(two night minimum stay required)
Our regular suites include:
- large beds built on a deck-like lift (like Duncan MacLeod's barge
bed). Two comfy chairs with a small table in between them. Chessboard,
books (including at least one Watcher Chronicle Surprise), and
complimentary bowl of M&M's in every room.
- room service by clones
In addition to all of the above, our special suites include:
- The MacLeod Suite. Tartan throws over the luxurious leather couch
made from the hide of that horse Duncan kept falling off of. Portraits
of Ian and Mary MacLeod on the wall, next to a replica of the Clan
MacLeod sword. Hot tub filled with Holy Spring Water for true deep deep
cleaning.
- The Methos Suite. Showing the many facets of Methos: books side by
side with papyrus scrolls and clay tablets, Springsteen records, racks
and racks of human skulls. Chairs are thrones from Methos' king or god
days. Bowl of complimentary fruit with bronze age knife. Complimentary
six pack of beer. Special closet for storing extra concealed weapons.
- The Amanda Suite. Black leather couch and chairs, with framed
counterfeit plates over the couch. Luxurious satin sheets on bed.
MacLeod's robe for snuggling in (stolen from the MacLeod Suite
earlier). Complimentary wine and beautiful crystal necklace.
- The Richard Ryan suite. Green leather couch and chairs, with framed
motorcycle racing portrait over the couch. Luxurious satin sheets on
bed. Complimentary cheese burgers on silver platter and sets of
handcuffs hanging from each post of the four poster bed.
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The VR Motorcycle Helmet Convention Center
(Yes, it's Richie's
helmet, made into a beautiful multi-story convention center in the
round.)
The twin facility to the Hotel Katana Space, this is a state of the art
convention center, with ballrooms and meeting rooms galore, and with
moving walkways taking you easily to the hanging plant-bedecked upper
levels where our transporter beam rooms, manned and womaned by our ultra
efficient security staff (sue, John, and Gisy), will whisk you to and
from Paris for delightful days of touring and dining.
In addition, our
very special holodeck facilities (run again by sue, John, and
Gisy--Gisy runs the kid's holodeck section) will give you hours of
enjoyment. Plus, you'll enjoy the on site excitement of Christy's
Carnival Game Room, magnificent stores supervised by Patt, our chief
buyer, the ultra posh Hair by Methos (managed by Gisy) Beauty Salon, the wonderful Joe's
Blues Bar managed by Kathryn, and the truly unique Brida's Petting Zoo.
In addition to wonderful rooms for meeting and dining, our
hotel/convention center features a double movie theater, open
twenty-four hours a day, with reclining chairs and DrownInSound. There
are never any fees to go in, since the price is included in your VR Con
registration fee. Here are some of the great features of our theater:
- Screen Room 1: Since it's VR, everyone can watch something different at
the same time without any complaints! Settle back, hit the remote, and
watch the Highlander episode of your choice. All episodes are
Eurominutes, with optional Sinominutes by Maggie, and no commercials.
Just like home, only better, because you don't have to argue with
*anyone* about what to watch! Popcorn, candy , and drinks are on the
house. Lean back and enjoy! Perfect for our insomniacs who don't feel
like visiting Paris during the Seacouver night.
- Screen Room 2: Showcases our own VR Con Productions, some live on
stage, some on screen (the screen slides down). Hear theme songs and
great filk, catch a live show, watch a parody script, enjoy other
surprises.
Overdosing on Highlander or perhaps you need to discuss the impending
angst of seeing the final episodes? Want to discuss your unresolved
feelings about a follow-on show or a fourth Highlander movie? Need
someone to help you understand how to enjoy your obsession and still not
get fired at work? Never fear; help is here!
An in house counselor, Dr. Wendy, is available on call at all hours for
those who need to discuss living with Highlander. Just pick up a house
phone, dial DRW-HELP, and help will be on the way.
Throughout the entire complex, our staff of clones will see to your
every need.
Can't decide where to go first? No problem! This is VR, so step into
our VR Cloning Room, located right next to the central hospitality
desk, and make yourself some extra bodies. Now you won't have to miss
a thing. Yes, you *can* be two, three, even four or more places at
once!
In short, the perfect place for the perfect vacation and convention. So
pick up that phone now and call 1-800-ZIP-MEUP. We'll zip you away to
happiness before you know it.
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