Cameron had run and run for a long time. It seemed as if the running was helping a little bit. As the sweat seeped through his pores, so did the idea of Amanda and himself. The fantasies that came to him while he was running almost made him trip and fall a couple of time. By the time that he returned to his place, his shirt was soaked with perspiration, and it was not all brought on by the run!

Cameron took the key from his pocket and put it into the lock. Just as he was about to turn the knob, the door flew open and Cameron looked up into the excited face of his older brother.

"Great news! I talked to Amanda and....'

Cameron gasped and yelled, "She forgives me and wants to start again?!?"

"Well, no, actually she's moving to New York but...."

"Leaving, she's leaving?"

"Cam, she is in so much pain, she's not thinking. She is trying to convince everyone, including herself that she's fine. She wants to leave so she can live her life and you can live yours. I think that..."

"Hello! Gary, how the hell am I supposed to live my life with out her? She is my life. If she goes to New York I have nothing."

Gary sighed and patiently waited for Cameron to finish his ranting and raving. "Okay, are you done? Can I tell you the good news, or are you going to go on another little rampage again?"

"Good news? What is it? Give it to me straight!"

"Okay, yes Amanda wants to leave Bay City because my bone-head baby brother left her. But... she can't leave with out going to the premier BRAVA party which happens to take place tonight at the Harbor Club and which I happen to have and invitation to with your name on it. Don't you see Cam? Amanda has to be

at this bash for the entire time. She can't leave. She has to stay because of all the media that's going to be there. It will mean a lot of bad press for Cory if the editor of BRAVA sneaks out of the party. She can't leave, even if the food is bad, even if some other women is wearing her dress, or even if my brother is there."

Cameron looked over at Gary and smiled and clapped him on the back. "Great job Gar! Your right, she can't leave. Amanda is going to have to stay the whole night, and I guess that means that I am defiantly going to have to stay too. The only problem now is that I guess I'm going to have to get myself a monkey suit for tonight."

The two Sinclair brothers spent a little more time planning Cameron's attack on Amanda. Gary noticed during this time that Cameron was completely different than what Gary thought he was. Cameron's eyes would light up at the mention of Amanda's name and Gary realized that what Cameron said was true. Amanda was Cameron's life. And Gary was going to do everything in his power to make sure his little brother would get his life, the one that he deserved.

Rachel stood in the doorway of her daughter's office. She watched Amanda for a few minutes. Amanda was not sitting at her desk. She was standing in front of the window and was gazing out at the scene that lay before her. Only Amanda was not seeing the snow falling and the cars on the street. She was somewhere else....

"I, Amanda take you Cameron to have and to hold, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part, as long as we both shall live." As Amanda recited these scared vows, Amanda was seeing herself standing in a candle lit room and was wearing a beautiful ivory gown. Her hair was swept up and she had baby's breath in her hair, and her eye's glowed with love, quite simply because they were gazing at Cameron. He looked so handsome in his tux. His eyes, in the candlelight were the color of the sea after a storm. He was holding both of her hands and the smile on his face could have lit up the world. He was now going to recite his vows to her. "I, Cameron, take you ......"

"Amanda?" Rachel walked over to where her daughter was standing.

"Sweetie, are you alright? I've been calling your name for 5 minutes."

"Yeah, Mom. Everything is fine."

"What on earth are you thinking about? You had a look on your face that made me think you were a million miles away." Amanda did not respond to her mother's question. Rachel walked back to the office door and shut it. She returned to Amanda's side and touched her daughter's arm. "Tell me what happened with Cameron."

The look of pain that flashed into Amanda's eyes made Rachel sorry for a second that she asked the question. Amanda, however didn't break down as Rachel thought she might. Instead, she squared her shoulders, and without turning to look at her mother replied, "What do you want to know?'

"Everything."

Knowing that her mother would not back down, Amanda thought it best to tell her. She told her everything, how the day their plane was supposed to take off, Cameron had come over to the house and told her it was over. He was no good for her he had said. He resented the fact that Amanda would try to change him into something he wasn't and wouldn't be. She went on to tell Rachel about how Cameron had showed up in Florida and had said he was wrong. He loved her. He wanted her, she was the only women he ever wanted. And how she sent him away. She sighed and finished up with Gary's visit. Rachel listened to the whole story and did not interrupt. When Amanda had finished she looked over at her mother, waiting. When Rachel didn't say anything, Amanda asked, "Well?"

Rachel watched her daughter for a few seconds before responding. Thinking to herself, Rachel had to note all the similarities between Amanda and her father Mac. Both, so strong. Even when they were hurt, they both bottled everything inside, afraid to show weakness to anyone. Rachel could count on one hand, the number of times that she had seen her late husband break down. She could count on the other hand the number of times she had seen Amanda in a weak moment. But just because Amanda was not saying it, didn't mean that Rachel couldn't see the truth. Amanda was obviously in pain. She was putting up a front and burying herself in work to try to avoid the issue. Whenever Rachel had seen Cameron and Amanda together, even if they didn't know that they were being watched, Rachel had seen pure love coming from both of them. She wasn't angry at Cameron for doing what he did. Knowing his past, the abuse, the jail, Rachel had no doubt that being love and returning love was something new to him. He was just confused. But now Amanda was in her defensive posture. Block it all out and it would go away. Rachel looked into the brown eyes of her only daughter and gave her the only advice she could.

"Amanda, do you love Cameron?"

"No."

That response surprised Rachel. She knew that Amanda did indeed love this man. Every time she said his name, Rachel could see the look of love in her daughter's eyes. "What do you mean 'no'?"

"I thought I did, but I don't."

"Do you think he loves you?'

"No, he may think he does, but he doesn't."

"Amanda. You may be trying to convince both me and your self about this. I think right now you are hurt and in pain. You know you love Cameron but your afraid"

"Look, I really have a lot of work to do, and I don't have time to discuss the enigma that is Cameron with you. Is there anything else you want?"

Rachel was somewhat taken aback by the change in her daughter's tone. Perhaps she had underestimated the love her daughter felt for this man, and the pain she was now in. Not wanting to intrude on her daughter's personnel issues, Rachel went into the reason she came into the office.

"The BRAVA premier is tonight, and I thought..."

"Tonight? Oh god, I can't go to that. I can't face...." Amanda's voice trailed off when she realized what she was going to say.

"Sweetheart. I know you may not be up to it now but you have to go. You are the editor. It's tonight at 8:00 in the Harbor Club. Please, Amanda."

Amanda steeled herself and replied with an unenthusiastic fine. She got up and walked back to her desk. Without looking at her mother she sat down and picked up a file. "Now, if you'll excuse me Mom, I have a lot of work to do. See you tonight."

Rachel remained seated and watched her daughter. "Oh, Amanda. Come out from behind your walls. Let your soul live." Those were the thoughts that Rachel had running through her mind as she closed the door to Amanda's office.

Amanda waited until she heard the door click shut. Then she picked up her phone and buzzes her secretary Lindsey and told her to take the rest of the day off. She got up and locked the door to her office. Sitting back down at her desk, she snapped out the lights and leaned her head back. Closing her eyes, sitting down in the dark Amanda ready herself for tonight.

Amanda chose her outfit with care. And her appearance was flawless. Her hair was pulled into a bun on top of her head and there were a few strands that fell around her face. Her dress its self was a simple red slip dress that came down to the tops of her knees and had a somewhat revealing, and yet still classy neckline. Looking at her self in the mirror, she noticed that her dress needed something else, a scarf maybe. Amanda went over to her dresser and started to rummage through her drawer. She froze however when her hand pulled up a blue tank top instead of a silk scarf. Cameron's shirt. Amanda took that shirt and raised it to her face. His scent was seared into the fabric. That wonderful and erotic smell of sweat and aftershave. This was Cameron's favorite shirt to run in. She remembered the time when she had been at his apartment when he discovered it was missing. Quite simply and calmly, Amanda had told him she now owns it. It was her new set of pajamas she explained. Cameron had pretended to be irritated stating that she had enough clothes and she should leave his alone. Amanda only laughed at him. She knew that he was more than just pleased that she did that. Looking at the shirt now, Amanda just felt pain. Taking a ragged breath, she put the shirt under her pillow and walked out the door of her room.

Cameron stood nervous in the corner of the room. He looked expectantly at the door. It was 8:15 and Amanda had not showed up yet. He sighed and took a drink of his beer. Gary walked up from behind him and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Cameron nodded, too upset at himself and too nervous to smile. He turned his gaze back to the door and she walked in. Every time Amanda had walked into a room, from the very first time he had met her, his breath had been taken away. She was so beautiful. It was as if a light surrounded her. She made everything she came near alive. She made him alive. Not knowing what to do, he just stood there. She looked around the room and she saw him. There eyes met, and for a brief moment, Cameron could have sworn that she was happy to see him. But that quickly changed. The love changed into ice and she looked right through him. Taking a deep breath, he started to walk toward her. Matt beat him to it and he and Amanda went to the microphone. It was time for the press conference part of the party to start. He returned to his spot at the bar and listened to Amanda speak.

"Thank you all for coming. I am here today to re-introduce the new and improved BRAVA magazine. I am so proud of this project that Cory Publishing has undertaken. We are hoping to make BRAVA the main project for Cory. I myself will be the editor and will be working out of the New York offices."

Cameron glanced over at the rest of the Cory family. The looks of shock on their face were pretty obvious. "She didn't tell them," Cameron thought. Amanda continued her speech by asking for questions. Cameron waited with growing impatience, Finally Amanda was done and Rachel moved to the microphone. Amanda whispered something into her mother's ear and Rachel nodded. Amanda stepped down and the

media started asking Rachel questions. Cameron watched as Amanda headed for the door and out.

"Oh no, princess. Not like that you don't." he thought. Cameron rushed after Amanda. Amanda, knowing that Cameron would be following, she increased her stride and pulled the car key's out of her purse. She reached her car and put the key into the lock and turned it. She open the car door and was just about to step in when some one grabbed her from behind. Knowing full well who it was, she did not turn around. Instead Cameron turned her around. She looked him in the eye and started to angrily protest, but Cameron silenced her with a kiss. She first struggled against it and then gave in. The kiss was still going after about 3 minutes, when Amanda pulled away and smacked Cameron across the face.

"Do you want to tell me what you are doing? How dare you do that to me!'

"It didn't look like you minded there for a while," Cameron said while rubbing the side of his face.

"You are unbelievable. You leave me. You come to my house and tell me you want nothing to do with me. Then you show up at my vacation and tell me 'Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to treat you like crap. I was just confused.' Now you kiss me and try to make it up to me. Yeah well there's nothing you can do Cameron. Nothing needs to be done anyway, I'm fine." Amanda, while saying all of this could not bring herself to look in Cameron's eyes. She knew that they saw her, and she wanted to stay hidden for awhile. "Besides, I doesn't matter what you say. I'm leaving. I'm going back to New York."

"Amanda, I love you. I will not let you go. All I kept thinking about the day that we were supposed to leave, is what if I screw up and you got hurt. Please Amanda. Try to understand."

"Try to understand? How can you stand there and tell me you love me after you walked out on me?!" Amanda screamed these words, all the while tears started coursing down her face. "No...I am fine Cameron." She wiped her face off and looked at his chest. "I am fine it doesn't matter. Nothing matters." She turned and started to get into her car once more.

"So your going to leave? Your going to forget everything? Your going to forget us?" Cameron asked, all the while trying to read Amanda's soul with his eyes.

"Yes I am. I will forget. You say you love me Cameron , but you don't you just think you do. In time you won't be able to remember my name. I'll just be some chick you met one night."

"Amanda, I love you and I will always love you."

Amanda sighed. For the first time in the conversation she looked up into Cameron's eyes. Yes, he did love her. She could see that. But she could also see what would happen to her if he one day didn't. No, that was too big of a risk to take. She once more dropped her eyes. "Well if you really do, I feel sorry for you. My best advice to you Cameron is to forget. Just like you said. Forget. Forget everything. Never look back and don't ever think about what could have been. Just forget."

She took her hand and placed it on his cheek. "Such a beautiful face. You make me so sad. We could have lit up the world. Good bye Cameron. I'm leaving tomorrow. You won't see me again." She took her hand off his cheek and got into her car. Driving away, she could see Cameron in the rearview mirror. "Don't feel, don't remember and don't look back." Those were the thoughts that were running through Amanda's mind as she pulled away from Cameron, for what she thought would have been the last time.

Chapter 4