Cory Estate

Cameron climbed up the wall and hoped lightly and silently on to the balcony outside of Amanda's room. He took a small leather case from his back pocket. He unzipped the case and took out what looked to be a nail file but what was really a tool that picked locks. He had no trouble with the lock on her door. He took a breath, held it and silently turned the knob. He went in.

The desk on Amanda's lamp was still lit. She must have fallen asleep with it on. Cameron looked over at the bed. Amanda was fast asleep, curled up around what looked to be a blue cotton blanket. But upon closer inspection, Cameron saw that it was the shirt that she had took from him. His heart swelled both with intense love, guilt and pain all rolled into one. He watched her for awhile. Her hair was mussed and her eyes looked puffy like they had been crying for quite awhile. But still, laying in her bed, mussed hair

and puffy eyes and all, Cameron was still certain that Amanda was the most beautiful woman he had ever lay eyes on. He sat down on the edge of her bed and stroked her head. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. Cameron remained where he was and tried to read her response.

"Am I dreaming?" Amanda asked softly.

"No princess."

Amanda raised herself up on one elbow and looked at Cameron. She put her one hand around the back of his neck and pulled him towards her. When their lips finally met, Amanda thought for sure she must have been dreaming. She and Cameron clung to each other as if they were clinging on for dear life and in a way they were. Amanda started to unbutton his shirt and she could feel the straps of her nightgown sliding down, one by one. This was the night that was unavoidable. It had been coming ever since the first time that they had laid eyes on each other. It had been coming for such a long time and it was so much more than they had both ever in their wildest dreams had anticipated it to be.

Amanda opened her eyes and saw Cameron looking at her and smiling down. She smiled back and before she could say a word he leaned over and kissed her. It looked like for awhile that things were going to get passionate again when Amanda pulled back.

"Okay, look, my mother is going to walk in here at any minute. I would really feel somewhat awkward if she found us in that situation."

Cameron smiled again at her. He rolled over and got out of bed. He started to get dressed. Cameron turned and looked at Amanda and smiled again. The happiness was just so overwhelming that he felt like he could shout it from the rooftops.

"Well I'll tell you what. Just because your cute, this is what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to leave,

because I really don't want to face your mom after she realizes what I did with her daughter." Cameron finished buttoning his shirt. He came back over and once again sat back down on the edge of the bed. Amanda raised her hand and stroked his cheek. The scruff of his day old beard was just so exciting, Amanda felt the goosebumps rising on her body. He was so beautiful. She wasn't sure that he knew the power that he had over her. Which is why she knew exactly what she had to do.

"Cameron, I want to thank you for last night. I ...."

Cameron didn't let her finish. "I know, I can't believe it either. Last night was incredible. I knew we would make it. Now what were you saying?"

Amanda looked at him. She studied his face, soaking in every little detail, memorizing it. It would have to be this way. It would just have to be. "I was saying, I have to get up, get dressed and find my mom. So why don't I meet you for breakfast at Carlino's in about and hour? Sound good?"

"Anything sounds good as long as your involved in it." Cameron stood up and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. He turned to leave and Amanda grabbed his hand. Before he could say anything she kissed him, a kiss so intense, it probably was the most passionate that they had ever shared. Cameron pulled back and looked at her, somewhat surprised.

"What was that for?"

Amanda didn't take her hand off the back of his head. She felt all the happiness and ecstasy she felt from last night leaving her. "Nothing, I just.... I just love you so much."

"Well I love you too, Princess. One hour and I'll see you at Carlinos. One hour." He kissed her again and walked towards the balcony door. When he got there, he turned and smiled back at her. "See you soon." With those final parting words, he walked out the door.

Amanda laid back on her bed. She felt empty and hallow inside again. "Yeah, see you soon."

Cameron sat by the booth and stared at the door with childish eagerness. He was on cloud 9. Amanda and him were back on track and things could not be better. He couldn't wait for her to get there. He heard the door open and saw instead of Amanda, Matt. Puzzled and a little concerned, Cameron stood up and met him half way across the room. Matt met him and he did not look good. Cameron immediately knew

Something was wrong.

"Hey, where's Amanda?"

Matt swallowed. "Cameron, she's gone."

Feeling as if he had just been kicked in the stomach, he repeated, "Gone?"

"Yeah, she asked me to come and give you this." Matt handed Cameron an envelope. He looked at him and not knowing what else to do, squeezed his shoulder and left.

Cameron took the envelope and opened it. Inside was just a piece of paper with 4 words on it. As he read it, Cameron felt all emotion slipping out of his soul. By the time he was done, he felt like he was dead. The not read: I'm sorry. Good bye.

How long, he stood there and stared at that note, Cameron couldn't tell. It was all that he could see, feel and remember. He looked up when he felt a hand on his arm. It was Gary. His older brother was smiling, but that smile immediately changed to extreme concern when he saw Cameron.

"Cam, what's wrong? You look as if someone died."

"Someone did."

"What are you talking about? Who died Cameron?"

"Me."

It was the second time in 4 days that Amanda found herself starring out the window of an airplane. And for the second time in 4 days, she felt that hallow pain in her soul again. How do you go from a night of the most intense love to looking at a long life of loneliness? Amanda leaned back and closed her eyes. She thought about the events that happened after she saw Cameron last.

He looked so happy, thinking everything was fine now. How little he knew, that everything in fact was not fine. He left through the door, planning to meet her for breakfast in about an hour. However, that was a date Amanda had absolutely no intention of keeping.

All during that night, Cameron had showed Amanda how much he loved her, in both words and actions. For hours and hours, they both tried to top the other in professions of physical and verbal love. Slowly, slowly he went, showing her how much he loved her. It was so incredible that Amanda thought she couldn't take it anymore. And Cameron the same. After a long time of this, they were both exhausted and Cameron had fallen asleep. Amanda did not sleep a wink that night, not a wink. She had thought and thought about what just had happened. She should never have allowed it to happen. She should have stopped it. But there was just something about him, there always has been. From the very first time they met on the hill, she had felt a tingling sensation in her just by looking at him, and when he touched her for the first time last night, it was like there was pure electricity running through her blood, through her soul. She had not been able to control herself. She could not stop herself. And now her she was again, back in her predicament.

After Cameron had left, Amanda lay back down on her bed. The last words her had said to her were, "I love you." The 3 words she had been dying to hear from him for a long time. She lay there thinking about them and finally came to 3 simple conclusions. First was the most obvious, Amanda knew she loved Cameron , she had known for a long time. Second was the fact that she also knew that there would never be anyone for her but him. And third, she knew that she could not be with him.

It was the final decision that was the hardest for Amanda to come to. She lay in her bed with him, faking sleep. She knew that he was watching her sleep. And it was the fact that she knew that he was there right now that made her absolutely certain that she had to end it. Sure, he loved her now, but tomorrow would he feel the same way? And what about next week? And the week after that? And the week after that?

Last night and this morning, Cameron had assured her that he loved her, but not too long ago, Cameron had come to her before Key West and had told her it was over. Then he changed his mind. What would she do if he changed his mind again? She loved him so much, she knew that she could not take it if he left her once again. She knew that she had to end it before he did.

Amanda sighed and got out of bed. All her things were packed. She jumped in the shower and had her self clean and looking great in about 30 minutes. She called Claudia to come and take her bags. After the maid removed her luggage, Amanda stood in her room and looked around. Her eyes drifted back to the bed and she could feel some of the sensations that she felt last night with Cameron come back. It was time to leave.

Leave and not look back.

Matt had driven her to the airport. Her mother, Paulina, Joe and Dante were all there to say good-bye when she got downstairs. Saying good-bye to her family was hard, but it was not forever. They could come visit her in New York anytime. And they all promised they would. But that would have to be the way it would be. Bay City had seen the last of Amanda Cory for a long time. She leaned back against the seat and fell into an uneasy sleep.

When she awoke, the plane was just about to touch down in to La Guardia Airport. She was now in New York. A new life. Getting off the plane, she looked around the airport, hoping to see Jamie. The whole place was just a bustle with people. Amanda noticed with envy a couple hugging and kissing, happy to be reunited with each other. "If only we could all be so lucky," thought Amanda bitterly.

"Amanda, over here!"

Amanda turned and tried to find the source of the voice. She found it and she also found herself being swept up into the arms of her brother.

"Jamie! I am so happy to see you!" Amanda took a step back and looked at her half brother. Jamie still looked about 10 years old. Amanda and Rachel always kidded him and called him "Babyface," a name that annoyed her brother. "It has been too long since I've seen you."

Jamie smiled at his sister. He continued smiling, hiding his concern for her on the inside. Both Matt and his mother had called and talked to him about Amanda. And he saw what they were talking about. Under her beautiful brown eyes, Amanda had dark circles. "It sure has. But let's not stand here and talk. Let's get your bags and then I thought we'd grab a bite somewhere."

That sounded good to Amanda. They waited and got her bags from baggage claim and Jamie slung them over his shoulder. They walked out of the airport and her brother hailed a cab. Seeing all of the sights of New York, the people, the cars and hearing all the commotion, Amanda felt so homesick at that moment that she could have sat right down and cried. What Matt had said was right. Amanda had lived in New York for about 8 months working for Cory Publishing and she had absolutely detested it. She had felt lost and everyone around her had felt cold and unfriendly. And the crowds, it was hard to find a place to be alone with your thoughts. They got in the cab and Jamie prattled on about his life. He had only been in the city for about 10 weeks. He liked it, but then again, Jamie always was one for the people and the crowds. He continued on for a while and then stopped when he realized that his sister was not listening to him. He looked over at Amanda and studied her. Matt had told him a little about this guy Cameron, but Jamie didn't think it would ever be this bad. Amanda had lots of boyfriends and none of them had never effected her the way this guy obviously had. It was time for some brotherly advice. But not in a cab, it could wait until lunch. Jamie decided not to push Amanda anymore, he would talk to her later. Instead, he reached over and took her hand. She turned and looked at him with tears in her eyes. He winked at her, and she laid her head on his shoulder.

Shortly after, the arrived at this great place in Chinatown that Jamie had found on his first night in New York. The place was called Garden Of Chang. And it had the best Chinese food he had ever tasted outside of Taipei. He had spent a little time in China in the last few years and had enjoyed it.

They got in and got a table. They also looked at the menu and selected what they wanted. After the waiter took their orders, Jamie decided it was time to broach the subject. But he didn't have the chance. Amanda beat him to it.

"Okay, your probably wondering. I don't know what Mom and Matt told you but I'll tell you the whole story. I'm only going to say it once, so pay attention."

Jamie listened and during the story he watched his sister. Her eyes light up and then immeaditly fill with tears every time she mentioned this Cameron's name. He could see how very upset she was.

Amanda started with the beginning, the first meeting on the hill and finished up with this morning. However, she did leave out last night. During the course of the tale, the waiter brought their lunches, sweet and sour chicken balls with a side of lo mein for Jamie and chicken and broccoli with a side of moo shoo pork for Amanda. Jamie devoured his and Amanda left hers mostly untouched. After she had finished, Amanda looked at her brother, and waited. Jamie looked back and really didn't say anything.

"Well?" Amanda asked.

"Well what?"

"Well what do you think?"

"I really don't think anything."

"What?"

"Amanda, I don't know the guy. If he's like you say he is, fickle and not sure what he wants, then you made the right decision."

"I did."

"I didn't say you didn't."

"All right, let's just go."

They paid the check and went back to Jamie's apartment. There was a spare room that Amanda was going to stay in until she found a place of her own. Jamie got her up to the house and opened the door. It was a nice apartment and had a glorious view of Central Park. He carried her bags into the room and his beeper went off.

"How do you like that?"

"Something wrong?"

"I'm afraid I have to go into the office Amanda. It's a patient. I'm really sorry. I..."

"Jamie, don't worry. I'm just going to unpack and look in the ad's for a place of my own."

"Your welcome to stay here as long as you like."

"I know and thank you, but I need to be on my own for now. Go to work and take care of your patients."

Jamie hugged his sister and left. He was worried about her. Matt told him it was bad and now he saw it. At lunch he had planned on giving some advice, but he had the sense that Amanda needed to figure this one out on her own. He opened the door and popped his head back in. "You sure you'll be okay?"

"Yes. Get out of here will you!" Amanda laughed.

"Help yourself to anything in the kitchen."

"Thanks, now go."

Jamie left and Amanda was alone. She found herself wondering what Cameron was doing. She sat down and thought about him. And she had the strangest feeling that Cameron was thinking about her too.

"What do you mean you just died?"

With a blank expression on his face, Cameron handed his brother the note that Amanda had written him and sat down. Gary read the short letter quickly and looked at his brother. He went over to the table and sat down across from Cameron.

"All right, Cameron, start talking now."

Cameron looked at his brother. "Last night, I couldn't just do nothing. She said she was leaving. I had to stop her. So I went over to her house and climbed over the fence and up into her balcony. I went in and she woke up. And we," Cameron flushed and looked at Gary. His brother nodded that he understood what happened next. "And this morning we made plans to meet here for breakfast. She didn't want anyone to walk in on us So I left. She told me she loved me Gar. And I waited here for her and Matt brought over this note. And I feel like when he brought the letter, he brought the bullet to my heart too."

"Well what now?"

"Nothing."

"What do you mean? Your not going to do anything?"

"Nope."

"Cam..."

"Look, if Amanda wanted us, she would have stayed. But she didn't. She left. Maybe she just wanted last night. I don't know."

Gary took a deep breath. He knew Cameron was wrong. He also knew that Cameron knew that he himself was wrong. But once Cameron set his mind to something, it was like talking to a wall. "Cameron, Amanda is scared. That's all. I remember how she and you were together. I've known her longer than you and have seen some of her relationships. This love stuff is as knew to her as it is to you. But she does love you, that I know. Trust me, all she is is scared. You have to go to her and ..."

"I'm not going anywhere. You want me to get stomped on some more well forget it." Cameron said those words with very little conviction. "It's better that it ended like this. We were never compatible any way. Rich little princesses and ex-cons don't go together. It was only a matter of time until we both saw that."

"Whatever Cam. You just keep telling your self that."

Cameron looked at the note and picked it up. He read it one more time. And this time he felt nothing. He had steeled himself to the pain. Gary knew that too. He had seen that look on Cameron's face a couple times. When his father hit him, when they found him guilty of killing the old man. He knew that Cameron had retreated inside of himself. And it was useless to try to draw him out. Cameron would not come out of his soul to talk about Amanda until he was ready to. That is if Cameron came out at all.

Gary got up and left his brother. He knew that Cameron needed to figure this one out on his own. Cameron remained seated and didn't see his brother leave. All he kept thinking was, "Feel nothing, don't remember. Forget." The same thought Amanda was having at that moment.

Amanda and Cameron had had no contact with each other. When Amanda phoned home to talk to family, she didn't ask about Cameron and her family didn't offer any information. Cameron had run into the Cory's a couple times and had exchanged polite chit-chat. Both staying away from any talk about Amanda. Cameron and Amanda both were trying desperately to forget each other.

Amanda had spent a few days with Jamie and had then found a lovely apartment over looking the harbor and the Brooklyn Bridge. Cameron had taken on many new cases, trying to keep busy. Amanda herself worked furiously, trying to get out the first issue of BRAVA on time. She also did a little shopping. Both tried to forget. But despite their best efforts, each had spent much time thinking about the other and the night that they spent together. It was now one week before Christmas.

Amanda had not been feeling well for sometime now. She had a feeling she knew what was wrong and here she was sitting on her couch in her new apartment waiting to see if she was right. For awhile she denied the symptoms. But they had been getting worse. This week she had nausea and periods of lightheadedness. She also could not stomach anything but pizza with green olives. She knew what the answer was, she didn't need a test to tell her what it was. But better be safe than sorry.

DING!

The timer went off next to her and Amanda didn't move. After another few minutes, she got up and went to the bathroom. She picked up a object of the sink and laughed for herself. It was a sad, "I don't believe this," kind of laugh. She looked down at the pink plus sign. There was no mistaking it now. There was no more denying it. Amanda was pregnant. She was pregnant with Cameron Sinclair's child. Amanda and Cameron had created a child out of their love.

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