The "Burt"

	Stephen is interviewing Hugh, who is a croaky-voiced 
	Richard Harris, stroke Peter O'Toole stroke Oliver 
	Reed stroke my thigh sort of wildman actor.


Stephen		Did you actually know Burton personally?

Hugh		Oh yes. Well, in as much as anyone really "knew"
		Burton. Oh yes, I was very fond of "the Burt". He
		was such a character, you see.

Stephen		And of course Elizabeth Taylor ...

Hugh		Well now Liz was a joy, a dream, a treasure. If you
		could have seen them together ....

Stephen		Did you ever ...

Hugh		Oh yes. Many times. In fact I was best man at
		their wedding.

Stephen		Which one?

Hugh		All of them.

Stephen		Now Gielgud and Richardson. You must have ...

Hugh		They never married of course.

Stephen		No, but you knew them?

Hugh		Oh good Lord yes. Real characters. "The
		Giel" and "the Rich" used to ask me for advice,
		constantly. They used to call me their "guru".

Stephen		Now around that time, you must have met ...

Hugh		Just about everyone, really.

Stephen		Good heavens.

Hugh		Oh yes. I knew everyone, and everyone knew me.

Stephen		That's extraordinary.

Hugh		I really was very lucky.

Stephen		Mmm. What did you think of Simon Condywust?

Hugh		Simon ...

Stephen		Condywust. Didn't you know him?

Hugh		Oh yes, I knew him. Yes, everyone knew "the
		Condy". Yes. Amazing character, he really was.

Stephen		Right. What about Margaret Limpwippydippydodo?

Hugh		Mm. Now, Margaret was fascinating. I was
		fascinated by her for many, many years.

Stephen		Was she an amazing character?

Hugh		No. She was a woman. The men were characters.
		Margaret was fascinating.

Stephen		I see. Colin FenchmoseythinkIhave?

Hugh		What a character.

Stephen		Fenella Hahahahahaspuit?

Hugh		Fascinating woman.

Stephen		Peter Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Hugh		Now there was a character. They broke the mould
		after they made Peter.

Stephen		Angela BrokethemouldaftertheymadePeter?

Hugh		Delightful woman.

Stephen		Cliff Richard?

Hugh		You've just made that up.