Violence

	Stephen and Hugh are somewhere.


Stephen		Violence: it's a theme we've touched on before
		now in this fortnightly look back on the past three
		days, and I dare say it's one we'll touch on again,
		and we don't apologise for that. Violence is not
		something that is going to lie down and go away.

Hugh		Well put. I suppose Responsibility Television is the
		phrase that best sums up our approach.

Stephen		What does Responsibility Television mean? Well
		it means that we are immensely concerned that
		nothing we do has a bad influence on our viewers.
		Thus when I hit Hugh, like so:

	Stephen hits Hugh.

		We have to consider what the effect on the viewer
		might be.

Hugh		Is a vulnerable, easily-led section of our audience
		going to start imitating this kind of behaviour?

Stephen		Well so far in this series I have hit Hugh on no
		less than a startling seven occasions. You might
		think we had no thought at all as to how the young
		might be influenced by this kind of senseless,
		horrific violence. Would they start to imitate
		it? Hugh.

Hugh		Well the interesting and inescapable conclusion
		that we've come up with is yes. Because since the
		series has started to be transmitted I have found,
		walking along the street that I have been hit no
		less than twelve times by complete strangers.

Stephen		So it looks as if the suggestible out there are
		actually imitating my violent behaviour patterns
		and striking you?

Hugh		That's right.

Stephen		Is that a worrying development?

Hugh		It's not unworrying.

Stephen		So it might be that the Milton Schulmans of this
		world aren't as incredibly stupid as the appear
		at first, second and thirty-fourth glance. We
		are unwittingly helping to make Britain a more
		violent place.

Hugh		It's beginning to look horribly like it.

Stephen		Well, let's see if we can't reverse this process. I'm
		going to give you a fiver now Hugh.

	Stephen does so.

		Would all those stupid enough to be influenced by
		my violent behaviour who are likely to go out onto
		the street and hit Hugh please watch very carefully
		as I now smile at Hugh, hand him another five
		pounds and say "There you are old chap, there's a
		fiver for you. Have a really super time. Oh, look
		here's another one. And another. There you go,
		bless you."

Hugh		Well thank you very much indeed if you don't
		mind me saying so.

Stephen		I certainly don't mind you saying so, in fact it's
		very kind of you. Here's a fiver.

Hugh		Well, thank you I'm sure.

Stephen		Good. Well, I hope you're going to monitor the
		public's behaviour very closely Hugh, and if you
		find people approaching with five pound notes,
		you'll come back on the programme and let
		us know?

Hugh		I certainly will.

Stephen		Alright then. Just time now to go over to Devizes
		and catch up with Chris and that giant sauna.

Hugh		They've got hotter pavements, I
		know that.