Jobs

	Hugh addresses the camera: 


Hugh		Hm. Yes. Jobs. I've had a variety of jobs since
		I moved to London. I started off, let me see,
		running a mobile twenty-four hour discotheque,
		for the St John's Ambulance Brigade, for when
		they had those big functions, and they needed a
		discotheque standing by, just in case. And then after
		that I set up as a freelance nudist, doing odds and
		ends, weddings, supermarket openings, that sort of
		thing. A lot of work for Securicor, funnily enough.
		But then there was the great nudism crash of '87
		and I got in with a removals firm in Notting Hill,
		doing a job for an Iraqi diplomat called Nigel Havers.
		You can imagine the stick he used to get, having the
		same name as Nigel Havers. But he was a nice chap,
		and we moved house for him. He wanted his house
		moved to the end of the street, because he said it
		was easier to park there. Funny things was that by
		the time we'd finished, and put the last slate back
		on the roof, an Austin 1100 went and parked in the
		space in front of the house, so we had to move it
		all back again. Happy days, though. And then, let's
		see, I had a couple of months in the white slave
		trade - on the selling side, I should point out. Just
		on the telephone, really, it was mostly mail order
		work, pretty dull, but it did get me into my next
		job which was director of pharmaceutical research
		at ICI. God knows how I got it, because I don't
		know the first thing about drugs, although I was
		pretty good in the interview. But they rumbled me
		eventually. All I could think of to say was that the
		pills ought to be oblong instead of round, and after
		a couple of years of that they threw me out. Then
		I thought I needed a break so I joined a group of
		travelling loss adjusters. They used to tour round
		the seaside resorts every summer putting on loss
		adjusting shows for children. That was very good
		fun, although I used to drink far too much. God
		those loss adjusters can stick it away. Unbelievable.
		Then I was Princess Anne's assistant for a while, but
		I chucked that in because it was obvious they were
		never going to make me Princess Anne, no matter
		how well I did the job. It was a question of who you
		were, rather than how well you did, you know, and
		I hate that. After that, let me see ... etc

Stephen		So I said "Why don't you shove it
		where the sun don't shine" and so
		he did. He put it in the cupboard
		under the stairs and it hasn't been
		mentioned since.