"Photocopying My Genitals With ..."

	Hugh addresses the camera while standing behind a 
	large office photocopier.


Hugh		Hello, I'm Tony Inchpractice, and welcome to
		"Photocopying My Genitals With". Tonight I shall be
		"Photocopying My Genitals With" Sir Alan Beaverby,
		one time Labour Employment Secretary, now an
		active member of the International Orphans Trust.
		Good evening, Sir Alan, thanks for coming on the
		show.

Stephen		My pleasure, Tony. Good of you to have me.

Hugh		Now, Sir Alan, the equipment is ready ...

Stephen		Hahaha.

Hugh		Hahaha, yes, so shall I go first?

Stephen		Yes, after you, Tony.

Hugh		Right.

	Hugh lifts up the cover of the photocopier, removing 
	his tackle: he then gently lowers the lid, all while 
	talking.

		Now, Sir Alan, you retired from politics last August
		after a quarter of a century in the House of Commons,
		in which you held a variety of Cabinet posts, was that
		a particularly sad time for you?

Stephen		Oh yes, very sad indeed. Apart from anything else,
		one makes so many friends in politics, and of course
		I was very sorry to have to leave them behind, as it
		were.

Hugh		Would you mind pressing the buttons for me?

Stephen		Oh yes, of course. Er ... how many copies do
		we want?

Hugh		Well, one for each of us, I think, and one for luck?

Stephen		Right you are.

	Stephen presses the relevant buttons and the machine 
	begins to whirr.

Hugh		You had a particularly harrowing time in the late
		sixties, when it was alleged that you were involved
		in the Dobro property scandal. Were you at all tempted
		to leave politics then?

Stephen		It crossed my mind, Tony, obviously. But my
		wife was adamant that I should carry on, so I did.

Hugh		Do you still keep in touch with the political scene
		now?

Stephen		Oh yes, as much as I can. I'm still active in the
		constituency, and I like to drop into the visitors
		gallery at the Commons whenever I can.

Hugh		Right, Sir Alan, your turn.

	Hugh removes himself from the machine.

Stephen		I say, would you mind if I did something slightly
		different?

Hugh		Not at all.

Stephen		It's just that I'd be much more interested in
		photocopying my bottom, if that's all right.

Hugh		Well I don't see why not. Can we do that? Yes,
		we can do that. Would you like me to hold anything?

Stephen		No, no. I'll just hop on here ...

	Stephen drops his trousers and sits on the photocopier.

		There we go.

Hugh		Three copies?

Stephen		Well again, I don't want to go bucking the system
		and making a nuisance of myself, but would you
		mind doing a couple of hundred?

Hugh		A couple of hundred, wow.

Stephen		It's just that I do keep getting requests from charity
		auctions and that sort of thing, and it would be so
		useful to have something to send them.

Hugh		I quite understand. So ... enjoying retirement?

Stephen		Enormously.

Hugh		Goodnight.

Hugh		What's the difference between a
		man and a woman? (No reply) Oh.
		(Wanders off and stops someone else)
		Excuse me. What's the difference
		between a man and a woman?