Flora Pasquale Strikes Back! Act One Scene 8

Scene Eight

Lights rise on a backdrop of a Ciudad Ibañez street. ALL FOUR ESCABOSAS and ISHMAEL enter from the left. Ishmael wears a large sombrero pulled down over his eyes and a great serape pulled up over his nose. ALEJANDRO, BLASINA & INKEY

Oh, Baldomero!
He can screw up the whole regime!
He’ll be doing them harm
While he’s saving our farm
With his clever and marvelous scheme!

ROSA Papa, Mama, hush. Someone may hear you. (THEY exit downstage left as the backdrop rises, and we are on the main street of Ciudad Ibañez. Only a FEW STRAGGLERS are waiting for the parade to begin. ISHMAEL and the ESCABOSAS enter from stage right.) ISHMAEL Rosa, where is everybody?

ROSA

It’s still early.

ALEJANDRO

Are you sure this is the right place? (An antiquated VENDOR appears upstage left, wheeling a cart with vegetables of all sizes and shapes. There is a sign over them which reads: VEGETABLES---LARGE 10 CENTAVOS, SMALL---FIVE CENTAVOS.) VENDOR Vegetables! Vegetables! Ten centavos big---five centavos small!

ALEJANDRO

This is the right place, all right.

ISHMAEL

This is terrible! Commercializing the whole thing…that’s terrible, I tell you!

ROSA

Ishmael, this is no time for integrity.

ISHMAEL

Are you sure they’re coming?

ROSA

I told you…

ISHMAEL

But you know the young…and you know the Latins. And when you’re both young and Latin, God knows what you’ll do next!

ROSA

Please don’t be so nervous…

ISHMAEL

But you said there was some trouble…

ROSA

The only trouble was they wanted to use real stones, and I said no, they had to use vegetables. So we came to a compromise. They’ll use vegetables, but they’ll pretend they’re stones and call it a stoning. Just like the American papers.

(VENDOR enters again wheeling his cart.)

VENDOR

Vegetables! Large squooshy vegetables---10 centavos. Small squooshy vegetables---five centavos… (SENORA BALDOMERO appears from upstage left, carrying a basket full of vegetables. SHE rushes to Vendor. ISHMAEL does not notice her.)
SENORA BALDOMERO Vendor! Vendor!
(shoving the vegetables in front of his face)
You swore these were the cheapest vegetables in Ciudad Ibañez. That’s the only reason I bought them. But just to make certain I checked the bodega down the street. They’re selling these tomatoes for one centavo less and these turnips at four centavos. I want my money back! You hear me? I want my money back!

(From offstage we hear the cry of the STUDENTS.)

STUDENTS (o.s.)

Que gusto ser joven!
Que gusto ser joven!

ISHMAEL

It’s them! They’re here!

SENORA BALDOMERO

(suddenly spying him)
Ishmael? Ishmael! (SHE races toward him. ISHMAEL sees her, pushes the serape above his face and tries to hide behind the Escabosas. But SHE pursues him.) STUDENTS (o.s.)

Que gusto ser joven!
Que gusto ser joven! (STUDENTS burst on stage as if they were storming the Bastille. They carry signs which read: AMERICANO GO HOME!, DOWN WITH THE U.S.A., UP WITH JOSE, FOREVER FLORITA! SENORA BALDOMERO runs after ISHMAEL who is now trying to lose himself among the Students.)

STUDENTS It’s fun to be young,
To be young, young, young, young, young!
It’s fun to be so young and gay!
It’s fun to be young,
To be young, young, young, young---
Especially when it’s stoning day!

It’s fun to be young,
To be young, young, young, young, young!
It’s fun to be so young and smart!
It’s fun to be young,
To be young, young, young, young, young---
For when we stone, we stone with heart!

We’ve got the charms!
We’re fresh and willing and bright!
We’ve got the arms
To stone way into the night!

It’s fun to be young,
To be young, young, young, young, young!
We’ve got our place within the sun!
It’s fun to be young,
To be young, young, young, young, young!
So here’s a stone for everyone!
So here’s a stone for everyone!

(THEY go into a wild, frenzied dance in which they simply expropriate the Vendor’s vegetables. As they do, his price keeps going down---"Eight centavos, three centavos"---"Six centavos, two centavos", "One centavo, half a centavo." The dance stops immediately as ONE of the STUDENTS yells: "WAIT!" The stage is still, except for ISHMAEL and SENORA BALDOMERO. ISHMAEL grabs Rosa’s arm.) ISHMAEL

Let’s get out of here!

SENORA BALDOMERO

Ishmael, you come back here! I’m your mother! (The ESCBOSAS follow ISHMAEL offstage. SENORA BALDOMERO is too exhausted to run another step. Suddenly we hear "Return to Montillano" played with patriotism. SIX POLICE OFFICERS march on in formation.) SENORA BALDOMERO Police Officer! Police Officer! (OFFICER tries to push her away. A limousine drives slowly on stage. Two official-looking men sit in the open back seat: one of them is the PRESIDENT’S BROTHER-IN-LAW, the other CHARLES M. CREASY, American ambassador to Montillano. BROTHER-IN-LAW rises in the back seat.) BROTHER-IN-LAW Amigos, yo… (The orchestra smashes into "It’s Fun To Be Young!" as the STUDENTS sing and hurl their vegetables. CREASY grabs the BROTHER-IN-LAW’’s arm.) CREASY Get down! Get down! (THEY huddle underneath the seats. As the POLICE OFFICERS attempt to quell the Students, the car drives off. SENORA BALDOMERO continues to follow FIRST OFFICER tugging at his sleeve, trying to shout above the din. A fight ensues between the STUDENTS and the OFFICERS in which the OFFICERS are knocked down and the STUDENTS march off, continuing to sing "It’s Fun To Be Young!" SENORA BALDOMERO is finally able to speak to FIRST OFFICER, who sits on the ground groggily shaking his head.) SENORA BALDOMERO Officer! Officer! Will you listen to me? What do you think of a son who ignores his mother? His very own mother! His mother who went to the prison to see him right before he was to be executed and bought him the most expensive candles she could find and found that she was gypped by the candle-maker and one of the candles exploded and her son went running out of that Prison without a word to his mother, mind you, never caring that much if his very own mother had been hoodwinked and robbed, never seeking retribution from the candle-maker, simply rushing off and roaming the country for more than a year without a word, a note, a telephone call, a… ("It’s Fun To Be Young!" completely drowns her out, but SHE continues talking.)

LIGHTS DIM RAPIDLY