Look, if you don't love the Pirates, you're obviously a dopey goon. I suggest you take a drill, drill a hole behind your ear, stuff the wound with beans, and set your dumb fucking head on fire. OK? Now scram!

"Pirates Of The Caribbean" holds a special place in my heart. When I was little this was THE RIDE. The lines were long but it just didn't matter, once you got in the boat you knew it was totally worth it. There were dead pirates and crabs and a wench auction and there was even a damn burning city! A drunkard hugging piggies! Anti-fat humor! A BIG ASS PIRATE BOAT firing it's cannons at a fort!! COOL! Horny pirates chased winsome hos and all was right in the world. Sadly, you know what happened to the horny pirates. At least the ride still features big bouncing boobies, happy piggies, and the addition of conquistadors makes the removal of the horny pirates much easier to take.

"ahr matey, prepare for a soaking of your shorts, ahrrr..."

Pretty lucky how I managed to take this picture at the exact moment that the lightning struck.

They deserved to die. Look at those shirts. Blech!

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Born 7/16/99. Last updated 9/17/01