Saturday June 03, 2000
Guess who's been on my mind these days! My boyfriend... and our relationship... I have been thinking about...
Hmmm.... My hesitation in finishing the above sentence raises an interesting question. How much am I willing to share here? I was talking to someone on ICQ and he didn't really like the idea of having personal thoughts put on the web. He thought it wasn't private or intimate enough. What I replied then was that privacy/intimacy comes from anonymity. Was I right?
It seems I have to finish this at a later time.
Tuesday May 16, 2000
Oh wow! I didn't think so many people are into astrology! I mean, if you go the page I put up with daily horoscopes you'll see that over 900 people visited it since March 1999!!! (But my homepage has over 900 visits since October 1998.) That makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Personally, I tend to believe in natal astrology, that is astrology that deals with the individual and is able to characterize him/her according to the birth place and time. I don't think those daily horoscopes can be too accurate because they are done using only the sun signs and on a general level.
But enough about astrology... I need to work on an assignment, plus to update the page of me and my man. lol
Monday May 15, 2000
My, my, 78 people were interested in my thoughts since May 15, 1999. Hey! Today is May 15, 2000. My thoughts' page has one year of being online. Happy B-day to it! LOL
I guess it might be just a coincidence that exactly today, of all the days, I finally decided to write something more on this page. It's not that I didn't want to. It's just that I always didn't find the right moment or didn't have time for it. (Speaking of coincidences, click here for an interesting and real story.)
So, many things happened since I last wrote in here (Jan 7). If you read my previous entry, you know I started the spring semester at a new college (Queens College). Being at the end of this semester, I can say it went pretty well. I got good grades and all... I still have final exams ahead of me (next week). And after that, guess what! I decided to take a summer class in June. So vacation for me will start on June 30. And what a vacation it will be! An unforgettable one. You know why? Because I will go visit my boyfriend. (Long story. You'll be able to read it pretty soon by going to the About me page.)
Going back to the new college subject, I didn't make too many friends. It's like everyone is for himself/herself, or they have their own pre-established groups or at least that's my impression. Seriously speaking, it's not me to have thousands of so-called friends. I go for quality not quantity. What caught my attention was finding "brats" (see entry below) and grown-ups (and I'm not talking only about age here) coexisting in the college. It's sort of normal since close to the college there's a high school so, high school students wonder around the campus. Plus, this is an urban college where many of the students have jobs.
When walking on campus, during the free hour (when no body has classes and everyone is heading toward whatever their destinations was), I sometimes felt a weird sensation, like a surge of feelings seeing all these young people and the potential they have. Am I talking like an old woman? LOL I don't know, it's just the way I felt. I realize that for many (including me) college is the last step that prepares them before going into life on their own. It's a little scary, but I know I can do it. :)
You know what? I'm thinking of making an mp3 page of my own. I don't know when I'll start working on it, cause right now I don't have that much time for it. Probably sometime during the summer... The reason for trying to make a mp3 page of my own is that I hate mp3 pages that have dead links, and I found many of those, believe me, so I think I might be able to do a better job at keeping my future mp3 pages free of dead links. We'll see...
Well, I think for now, I wrote enough to please even a certain someone. (you know who you are lol :)
Until next time...
Friday January 7, 2000
Wooooooowww!!! It's 2000 already! I really can't believe it. I liked 1999. Hopefully 2000 will be a better year. Not that 1999 was bad.
I'm tired. Tired phisically and emotionally. I wonder why. Well, I know why I'm tired phisically, but emotionally..... I feel like lying somewhere, just lying like a pie and not doing anything, not thinking about anything... just being.
You know what's funny? The fact that I keep saying "Maybe I'll write more tomorrow" at the end of each entry, and I never do. LOL I should stop writing that and say, for example, I'll write more when I feel like it, or when I have time....
I had a bad dream last night... actually this afternoon cause I woke up at 2PM and from that bad dream... I don't feel like typing it up here.... It's sort of personal, I think too personal for the web.
I feel like I pie, like a pie in the sky... la la la.... I'm singing if you didn't realize that yet! LOL
In a few weeks I'll start the spring semester at Queens College. I recently transfered to this college. I hope it will go well. I have the feeling I'll meet a lot of brats there. Oh well! I'll manage.
I don't know what else to write more... It's like I went blank and I have nothing more to say... Maybe it's better like that... Silence... total silence... Sometimes, I can hear silence during the night... but not total silence... the train passes near my house regularly and also the bus in front of my house, less frequently during the night though....
Well, that's it for now. Till next time.
Monday, August 16, 1999
Hmmm... It's been three months since I last wrote here. What are my thoughts today? Well, I'm thinking about the trip from which I got back yesterday. I went to see my homeland, Romania. It was something. I got to see the total solar eclipse, maybe the only one I'll see during my life, unless there will be one for me to see here in the States. Thinking about Romania makes me a little sad. Not only because I miss it but because of the things that are going on there. There has been a lot of rain and because of this, floods. Many houses were destroyed by angry waters and a lot of people lost everything! It's terrible. *sigh* But enough of this. I don't need to be sad. I have other things to think about, like my college education, my future... and... astrology. You may laugh but I like astrology. You could say it's a hobby of mine. I bought some books and I'm learning about it...
...........................................................................
Talking to someone on ICQ made me think about friends, real friends... Those are a hard to find "species". By the way... do you know this one? It's about real friends...
A real friend ...
(A)ccepts you for who you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust to "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plain things you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality
It's a nice poem, don't you think?
Well, I could go on and on but I think I should end this. Maybe I'll write more tomorrow.
Saturday, May 15, 1999
The first thing that comes to my mind is that the world sucks (as one of my e-mail buddies says)! And I don't mean the nature or animals or something like that, but the way in which the people made this world. It's like all they wanted/want was/is not to be happy. There's too much greed and ego and "I" instead of "we", too much of "what is good for ME" instead of "what is good for us", too much violence and the worst thing is that many don't care if that doesn't affect them immediatly; but they are wrong! It DOES affect them. They don't live in a vacuum!
I know that a violence-free world is too much to ask now; people got used to it (with the media's help, but I don't want to get into that right now). I was walking today in Manhattan when I overheard a guy, behind me, talking to his friend about wanting to hit his girlfriend because she failed to see his point. HIT!?! Is it me or instead of evolving, this world is involving towards the stone age? It's really sad and scary at the same time. It makes me want to live on an island, far away from this kind of people and even away from people at all. Yeah! I know! Anti-social thoughts! One of the first signs to anti-social behavior. Well, not really in my case (that's what they all say, huh? lol). I'm not anti-social. I talk, I get involved but not necessarily trust.
Ah! Trust! This is a really big issue for many (including me!). Is it worth to trust someone just to get hurt afterwards? This is a dilemma. If you have no one to trust you feel lonely; if you trust someone you might get hurt. I believe trust is a "double-edged blade"; it's a "no-win/maybe no-win" kind of situation. It's a matter of luck and ability to read people. (You probably think that I got hurt trusting. Well,... not really. Because I don't trust too much. I believe that people are capable of anything, yes, ANYTHING! Having that in mind, I go out there and try to survive!-that's kind of dramatic ^_^ but I guess that's how I feel right now.) I think that in a way I'm unfair to that small number of people who are truly trustable. However, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
You may want to pay attention to my choice of background and font colors. (Metaphor of the world=black+gray, not much white to be worth mentioning!) There is also the fact that dark backgrounds are better for my eyes. (I spend many hours in front of my PC :)
1:36AM! Hmmmm! I'd better go to sleep. *yawn* I can write more of my thoughts tomorrow or/and in the days to come.
visitors since May 15, 1999
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